Waiting for Magic
by Ms Starlight
Summary: Quistis x Seifer...Quistis goes on a mission with her instructors license as reward for a job well done, but Seifer is on her team. Complete
1. Fantasy

Rating

Rating: R (later chapters)

Disclaimer: All characters, places, etc. belong to their respective owners, and not to me

A/N: Okay...I'm not new to fan fiction by _any _means, just FF8 fan fiction...so please be kind! I'll catch on a little better to the fandom (characterization, etc.) in a little bit. In the mean time, I'm starting out with a shipper fic...although it's not my usual style. 

Waiting for Magic

Chapter 1: Fantasy

Quistis Trepe looked down into the dark, ebony depths of her half empty coffee cup with distaste written clearly across her face. Slowly, her lips curved down into subtle frown, cursing the benign drink for everything that had ever gone wrong in her life. From being adopted into a less than ideal family to loosing her position as a Balamb Garden instructor, the hot liquid was responsible for it all...most notably the indelible stain that was quickly forming in the folds of her skirt.

"Sorry..." the junior classman who had bumped into her arm uttered, a horrified look blanching out her features to white. Her dark eyes were wide, shining pools that looked suspiciously like Quistis' spilled coffee.

"It's alright," she sighed. "I'm sure it'll come out." _Like blood on a white shag carpet._

"Okay...well...sorry again," the girl replied, turning to walk away with noticeable stiffness in her muscles. From behind, she looked like Rinoa. The long, black hair and delicate frame that were as much a part of Rinoa's charm as he contagious laughter seemed a little out of place in the gray and silver uniform.

Quistis remembered only somewhat vaguely her days before becoming a SeeD. She remembered her determination, her unrelenting need to be strong and in control. Quistis hated to feel as if she weren't in control, everything needed to be carefully in hand. Being weak was dangerous, but being helpless was deadly.

Soaking up some of the coffee with her napkin, she got up to rid herself of the cup. Somehow, the rest of her drink didn't really appeal to her anymore. Distantly, she was aware of eyes on her as she walked out of the cafeteria. She'd been aware that some of her students looked up to her as more than an authority figure when she'd been an instructor. Those students, however, had been lost in the crowd when she lost her teaching license. Presently, she'd gotten used to people staring at her. After defeating Ultemica, she along with everyone else involved, had become legendary figures within the garden.

"Hey, Quistis," Zell went blazing by, almost knocking her to the floor, as she exited the cafeteria. She had to admit, he knew how to make an entrance.

Zell rarely missed out on the cafeteria's hot dogs. People let him to the front of the line, gave him their lunch when he got there late. All of his apparent fame didn't seem to bother Zell. If anything, he fed off of it and had become stronger. The boy who'd once been "cry baby Zell" had transformed into a man with the will of a warrior and a heart of gold. He still was filled with his characteristic nervous energy, still made impulsive and often reckless decisions, but Quistis could see maturity raising its head within him.

Maturity was never something Quistis had struggled with. Often she felt that she was all together more mature than she needed to be. She'd always been the adult, the level headed one. Her childhood had slipped behind her long ago, untouched and unbearably short. She didn't have the things that Zell had, didn't share in his innocence.

However, that was something Quistis had come to terms with. Her childhood, or lack thereof, had made her strong. It had given her a sense of stubborn determination to succeed that nothing else could have. The only thing that daunted her was how overall success seemed to evade her at every turn. When she looked back on her life, she could see herself blindly working toward a goal, and misery pulling her away each time she felt the warmth of happiness' light.

Shaking her head to rid herself of the dark thoughts that seemed to be circling her head, Quistis continued on toward her room. It was much too easy to become depressed by doting on things that had gone wrong. Quistis continually tried to remember that there was much in her life she had to be thankful for. She was a top notch member of SeeD, people widely respected her abilities throughout the world. On top of that, she had friends who had been to hell and back with her. That was a bond no one could break.

Quietly, she closed the door to her room behind her, and searched for something to wear. Ultimately, she decided upon her SeeD uniform. In a childish way, it made her feel good to wear it. It made her feel important, part of something bigger than herself. She had a meeting with the headmaster in less than an hour anyway, the uniform would do just fine.

Humming softly to herself, she rid herself of her ruined outfit, tossing it haphazardly onto the floor, and pulled on the navy and gold uniform. The skirt was shorter than her other one, showing off her knees. Generally, she preferred long skirts and her SeeD uniform featured a somewhat longer skirt than the ones others wore.

Stopping to check her hair in the mirror, Quistis stepped out of her room only to see Squall walking toward her. As always, her breath caught in her chest at the sight of him. His lanky brown hair hung down into his clear, storm gray eyes. His stride was full of a solid confidence, and the scar that ran from his forehead down the bride of his nose did nothing to make him any less handsome. In short, Squall Leonhart took Quistis' breath away and left her heart pounding solidly against her ribs every time she saw him.

"Quistis," he nodded lightly as he passed.

Of course, he was heading to Rinoa's room.

"Hi, Squall..." she replied a little belatedly. He didn't seem to notice that she'd said anything, and continued toward his girl friend's room. Quistis had been madly in love with Squall for as long as she could remember, and he'd always been either completely oblivious to her feelings or had outright rejected them. Squall wasn't exactly a sentimental man with one very obvious exception. Rinoa brought out the best in him, had acquired his love and devotion. Indeed, Quistis had never seen anyone love someone as deeply as Squall did Rinoa.

Quistis wanted what Rinoa had so badly that it hurt. She wanted someone who would be her knight, someone who would protect and love with her every fiber of his being. She wanted to feel magic every time he touched her, to be able to sit back and know that she'd found forever. As silly as she knew it was, that had always been Quistis' fantasy, and she'd been waiting for that very special kind of magic for twenty two long years. Twenty two years that had felt more like fifty.

A little deflated, Quistis started toward the headmaster's office. It didn't hurt to be early, and she had nothing else to do. She figured that she could probably talk to Xu for a while, anything to get her mind off of Squall. To want the one thing she couldn't have, it was a strange feeling to Quistis.

Clasping her hands together in front of her, Quistis started the long walk to the other end of the garden to get to the elevator. She'd always felt that having only one elevator was a major design flaw in the garden. The lift itself could hold no more than four people...maybe six if everyone really squeezed. It made getting everyone to second floor classrooms at the same time completely impossible. Thus, the garden had to stagger class times so that the fewest number of students possible had to use the elevator at the same time.

Zell was just coming out of the cafeteria as she walked by. He waved enthusiastically and jogged up to her.

"Hey, Quistis," he greeted her for the second time in the space of an hour. "How're you?"

"I'm good, how about you?" she asked.

"Great!" he replied. "Where 'ya going?" He fell into step easily beside her, his arms held just a little to far away from his sides. Zell was more muscular than Squall, although shorter. Squall's skill made up for his light, agile frame.

"To see the headmaster," she answered. "You?"

"Squall and I are going to train a little bit," he shrugged.

"Really? I just saw him," Quistis mused, reflecting back upon how striking he'd looked walking toward her in his dark pants and jacket.

"No kidding?" Zell's jaw dropped. "I've been looking all over for him!"

"Oh, were you hoping to find him in a bun?" Quistis laughed. Zell chuckled a little himself and scratched the back of his head.

"I was just taking a break from looking for him," he replied a little sheepishly. "Keeping my energy up and all." Quistis couldn't help but laugh, Zell had enough energy to keep two people up and going.

"Well, I saw him heading toward Rinoa's room," she announced. "So you might want to head that direction."

"Okay, thanks," he nodded and left with a little wave when Quistis turned to get on the elevator. She could still see him sprinting toward the dorms as she rode up to the third floor, the motion making her stomach feel like it had dropped to her heels. The poor little organ had just climbed back into place when the elevator stopped, making her stomach lurch out of place again. 

She stepped out and into the headmaster's office. Xu looked up from her position behind a desk in what could only be called a lobby and smiled. 

"You're early," she said, looking down at her watch. "Really early."

"I know," Quistis shrugged. "But I really had nothing else to do, and thought I'd just head here anyway."

"You can sit down and wait if you want," Xu offered, motioning toward a chair. "I'll tell the headmaster you're here, maybe there's something he has he can discuss with you before everyone else gets here."

"Everyone else?" Quistis asked, not aware that anyone would be present at the meeting aside from herself and the headmaster.

"Four other SeeDs," Xu looked down at a piece of paper on the desk, frowned momentarily, and then quickly wiped it away. "Just a moment." She disappeared through the double doors that lead into Cid's main office.

Quistis tapped her fingers on her knee impatiently while Xu was gone, her mind running over the strange little bit of information she had just received. If the meeting involved other members of SeeD, then it had to be a mission. The thought was a nice one, she hadn't really been on any worthwhile missions for a long time. After the liberation of Timber, the Galbadians had gone back into the shadows and remarkably little was heard from them. Since then, all of the missions that had come Quistis' way were monster exterminations.

Of course, what mission could possibly compare to defeating Ultemica and ultimately saving the world? Quistis kept getting the nagging feeling that she'd reached her peak, fulfilled her destiny, and the rest of her life would be a slow spiral downward.

"Quistis?" Xu tossed open one of the doors and motioned inward with one hand. "The headmaster will see you now."

"Okay, thank you, Xu," she smiled amicably at the other woman. Xu was an extraordinarily capable woman, and Quistis often wondered why she served as little more than a secretary most of the time.

_ If I was headmaster, she'd be out in the field._

"Good afternoon, Miss Trepe," Cid didn't look up as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her. "How are you today?"

"Quite well, Sir," she replied, giving him a short salute even though he wasn't looking at her.

"Glad to hear that." He stood up, running one hand thoughtfully along the stubble gracing his strong jaw line. "I'm sure you've probably figured out by now what I'm about to say." He stood and looked at her, his hands behind his back. As usual, he wore a red sweater vest over a white shirt. Cid wasn't a physically intimidating man, but there was an air of authority about him that Quistis respected.

"A mission?" she asked, unconsciously tilting her head slightly to the side.

"One that I feel is well suited to your talents," he replied. "And also one that will be very important to you."

"How is that?" she asked, swallowing deeply and desperately hoping he wasn't going to say what she thought he was going to.

"Yourself and four other SeeD members are to be dispatched to Galbadia," he announced. "Naturally, you will lead the team. The governments of Timber and Dollet have contacted us concerning rumors that the Galbadians are building new missile bases and preparing to launch a new campaign to gain complete control of the continent."

He paused, clearing his throat, and then continued.

"You'll depart for Timber tomorrow morning and then continue on to Deling City. Try to determine whether there is any truth to the rumors. Should the Galbadians indeed be poised for attack, return to Timber for further instructions." He nervously licked his lips. "Quistis...if this mission goes smoothly, your reward will be the renewal of your position as an instructor. That is, if you want it. I honestly believe that you have proven yourself ten times over, but a number of the faculty would like to see your leadership skills in action."

"Sir..." Quistis paused for a moment, not sure how to reply. "Naturally, I would love to become an instructor again...but, if Galbadia is going to attack...what would the nature of our mission be?"

"To protect the free governments that Timber and Dollet have established for themselves," he answered. "I suspect that the rumors are more truth than fiction. We will dispatch more people if needed."

Quistis chewed this over for a moment. The mission itself didn't bother her, only the fact that her teaching license was being dangled in front of her nose as incentive. Being an instructor had been one of the more rewarding experiences of her life, and loosing it had been very painful. She could feel herself shying away from the prospect of setting herself up for that kind of failure once again. Still, a part of her couldn't pass up the chance to get back what she loved so much.

"Who will I be working with?" she asked.

Cid cleared his throat again. It was beginning to bother her, and she knew she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear.

"Well...some of the best," he replied reluctantly.

"Anyone I know?" Quistis inquired.

"Yes..." Cid looked down at the floor. "We attempted to find someone with ties to Galbadia. Rinoa will be on a mission to Esthar with Squall. Irvine will be with them...and we were left with one notable alternative."

"Who?" Quistis asked, completely baffled as to who they could have chosen. She didn't have to wonder very long, mere moments after she asked the rest of her team filed into the office. Selphie was at the front of the pack, two people Quistis vaguely recognized as former students behind her, and the person who's name Cid had been so reluctant to say hovered in the back.

_ Seifer. Of course...he was with the sorceress when she was named Ambassador. Not necessarily a good connection to Galbadia, but a connection._

"Hey, Quistis!" Selphie grinned, her green eyes wild with enthusiasm. Seifer simply gave her a long, impassive look.

"You're team, Miss Trepe," Cid smiled, a hint of apology in his eyes, and motioned to the four people who had since lined up and saluted in front of the door. "Good luck."

A/N #2: lol...when I spell checked this, it offered "sexier" as an alternative for Seifer. Hehe...just thought that was funny.


	2. Timber

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners.

A/N: Yay!! You all have no idea what a relief good reviews are...I'm so insecure! I feel better now though. Anyway, I hope my characterization is okay here...especially with Seifer, he's a rough one. Feel free to let me know that "Seifer would never say/do that!" 

Chapter 2: Timber

"I can't believe Seifer's coming," Selphie shook her head. "I was amazed when he became a SeeD...but this really takes the cake!" Quistis nodded in full agreement. Selphie and the others wouldn't be a problem to lead, but Seifer seemed to despise authority. He'd never given her a break as an instructor, and he certainly wasn't go to go easy on her as the team leader.

"At least you can depend on him in a fight," Quistis offered. "He _is _one of the best."

"But he's so...so...Seifer," Selphie shook her head. Quistis was well aware of the fact that Selphie's last experience with Seifer had been a negative one. Her normally genial nature didn't allow her to be outright hostile against him, but his presence made her understandably nervous.

"Maybe he's changed," Quistis replied, secretly hoping that he'd undergone a complete transformation, but knowing she couldn't possibly be so lucky. No, he would be the same grating, caustic Seifer she'd taught so many years ago. A little older and in possession of a SeeD uniform, but Seifer nonetheless.

They found him waiting at one of the Garden's cars. His long body was leaning against the hood as he idly swung his gunblade from side to side. As usual, he wore his long, gray trench coat. The coat made him look slightly bigger than he actually was, not that he was a small man by any means. Seifer, who was easily over six feet tall, dwarfed Squall. He wasn't scared of anything or anyone...he was one of the most intimidating people Quistis had ever met.

"Good morning, Seifer," she smiled.

"Morning," he replied, his voice a little bit more rich than she remembered it being. Of course, her memories of him were a little bit warped. The strongest ones she had were of his darker days, of seeing him standing in a frayed coat, his frame bent in pain, and his eyes wild with an emotion she could never hope to understand. He'd had the look of a rabid animal, his body weary but his blood running hot with impurity...with disease.

Presently, he looked strong and stony. His eyes were locked on her as if he was challenging her somehow, and he was chewing on a rather large wad of gum.

"Where are the others?" she asked, mentally chastising herself for having already forgotten their names.

"How the hell should I know?" he shrugged. "You're the leader."

"So I am," Quistis smiled, then turned to Selphie who had completely turned her attention to a loose thread on her dress. "We'll wait for them...we're still ahead of schedule." Selphie glanced up, meeting Quistis' gaze. Her expression was mixed, excitement at the mission, and foreboding concerning Seifer. Strangely, Quistis had thought that Selphie would be one of the quickest to forgive. The spunky young, woman, however, was much more than she appeared. She was an excellent fighter and was ruled by her impassioned emotions, even if that emotion was an unforgiving anger.

"Sorry we're late!" The last two came rushing into the garage, huffing and puffing the whole way. Two male students, both of whom had unremarkable physical appearances. They were as average as average got...not tall, but not short...not ugly, but not handsome...not outgoing, but not shy. Quistis tried for a few more moments to remember their names, but they proved to be elusive creatures.

"It's alright," she finally replied. "Just don't be late again...everyone into the car." The two recent arrivals got in first, followed by Seifer, who shoved one of them out of the way so he could sit in his favorite spot. Quistis could clearly see the fear in the two young men's eyes when they looked at their blonde comrade. She almost hated them for showing it, knowing Seifer would only use it to his advantage.

"Alright," Quistis climbed into the car last and sat in her usual spot with Selphie across from her. Distantly she realized that she'd been doing the same thing much too long if she had a favorite spot. "We'll be taking the train from Balamb City to Timber. We'll spend a few hours in Timber and then board the train going to Deling City."

Selphie rested her hands in her lap and hummed lightly under her breath as things fell silent. Her yellow dress seemed almost neon in the dark interior of the car, and the motion of the vehicle made her hair sway gently back and forth to the rhythm of her song.

"Knock it off," Seifer growled, breaking the relative silence.

"What, do you have something against someone being happy?" Selphie demanded and promptly started humming again. Seifer's lips curled up into a snarl and Quistis could almost see his muscles bunch with irritation. Sitting next to him, she felt tension radiating from him, and was thankful that the trip to Balamb was a short one.

Seifer was the first one out of the car when they stopped, nearly knocking everyone else down as he blazed out the door in a flash of gold and gray. Selphie had a smug look on her elfin face and waited patiently for everyone else to get out before she did.

The warm Balamb air hit Quistis just as hard as it usually did, heavy with the smell of salt. The quaint little harbor town was cute, even peaceful, but Quistis had placed it on her list of places she would never want to live. She wasn't quite sure what it was that turned her off about Balamb, but she'd never felt anything but unease there. A few townspeople wandered by as she started toward the train station, her team walking obediently behind her.

"Hello," the man at the train station greeted her warmly, recognizing her from dozens of missions before. He grinned, showing off his too perfect teeth.

"Hi," Quistis returned the smile. "I'd like five tickets to Timber."

"Alright...would you like to register for one of our SeeD discount cards?" he asked.

"SeeD discount cards?" Quistis shifted her weight to one foot and crossed her arms. Everyone always had something to sell.

"Yes!" The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, red card that had "Balamb SeeD" written across it in thick, black letters. "For every ticket you buy, you get a punch, and when the card is full, you get a free ticket."

"I see...and how much does it cost to get the card?" she asked skeptically.

"Only 200 Gil," he replied as if 200 Gil for a little red slip of paper were the best deal in the world. "Of course, since you've been a frequent for so long, I could probably knock that down to 175."

"No thanks," Quistis shook her head. "I'll just take the five tickets."

"You're passing up an amazing deal..." he shook his head and reluctantly handed her the five tickets she'd asked for in the first place.

"Maybe you should contact the Balamb Garden Headmaster about you're little plan to discount for SeeD trips," Quistis offered along with her money. The man was completely undaunted, and took her money with a light shake of his head, muttering something under his breath about what a shame it was for her to pay more than she really needed to.

"Okay, anyone need anything before we head out?" she asked. No one replied, so she motioned toward the train. "Alright then, let's get going." As she walked up to the train and handed the uniformed man standing in front of it their tickets, she could hear Seifer dragging the end of his gunblade along the ground. The high pitched, metallic shriek it created made Quistis' skin crawl, and for long moments she considered turning around and screaming at him to stop. Somehow, she managed to restrain herself and got everyone onto the train without any major incident.

"Quistis! Quistis! Quistis!" Selphie jumped up and down in front of the door that lead to the next car in the train. "Open it!"

"Selphie! Selphie! Selphie!" Seifer mocked her. "Shut up!"

"Just a second, Selphie," Quistis replied, sending Seifer a heated look before walking over to the key pad to open the door for her. Anyone who'd ever traveled with Selphie knew that she loved to be in anything big that moved. When the door slid open, she squealed and sprinted toward the windows.

"Don't we have our own room?" Seifer asked, leaning against the wall and watching with distaste as the other two followed Selphie inside.

"Yes, but we're not going to be using it," Quistis replied. "The trip to Timber is short." The door slid shut with a bang, leaving Quistis alone with him.

"So what?" he scoffed. "You need to learn to let loose every once and a while. You're so stuffy...look at you. Collar that goes up to your neck, hair pulled back...you look like a fucking librarian, Quistis."

"You know, I really don't see how the way I dress has anything to do with the mission," she replied, refusing to back down to him. She was the boss, and Seifer would have to respect that just like everyone else.

"Just commenting, _ Squad Leader_," he replied and turned his back on her. "Selphie's in there...I'm staying out here."

"Whatever you want," Quistis shrugged. "But you'll still be able to hear her out here." Seifer grimaced and wandered around like a caged tiger. There had always been a feral side to him, and Quistis could easy place any variety of wild animals in his place as he stalked back and forth in front of her, tapping his gunblade against his shoulder. His upper body was hunched forward, and he idly popped his jaw in and out of place.

"You know," Quistis leaned back against the wall, "this whole thing would probably go a lot faster if you and Selphie would just leave each other alone."

"Not my style," he shrugged.

"So, what you're saying is that you're going to make this entire thing as difficult as possible?" she demanded, angry at him for being so unreasonable.

"Believe whatever you want," he replied, facing her with the broad expanse of his back. Quistis frowned, wondering if his turning his back to her was an act of defiance or a signal that he just wanted to be left alone. With Seifer, she could never tell. Quistis liked to consider herself an observant woman, she generally could see past people's exterior to what was happening under the surface. Seifer's outer walls were so thick and so high, however, that she'd never been able to see beyond them. Not that she'd really ever put a lot of effort into it, her lack of understanding for Seifer was most likely a result of her in depth knowledge of Squall.

"This is a very important mission," Quistis straitened her back, trying her best to look as impassive as he did. "I would appreciate it if you'd take a break from being an ass for the space of two seconds and see that. You're a SeeD, Mr. Almasy...you'll follow my orders or you'll go back to Garden."

Seifer spun around to look at her, no longer with a cool, stoic front but with his fiery, angry disposition taking over. "You don't have the guts to send me back! You're a shitty leader, just like you were a shitty instructor...face it, you _need _me on this mission." He looked her up and down once, challenging her to reply.

She didn't know how to reply to his attack. She didn't want to counterattack, but at the same time, she wanted to reaffirm her position of authority. As she franticly searched her mind for the right thing to do, for the perfect thing to say, Seifer sent her a cocky grin.

"See, even _you _know it," he laughed, waving one gloved hand in the air. With that, he walked away from her and into the next car, roaring at Selphie to stop singing with an implied threat attached to his demand.

"Damn," Quistis spun on her heel, angry at both him and herself. "Damn, damn, damn."

***

"I'd like five tickets to Deling City." Quistis smiled at the man in the green uniform who, without offering to sell her anything else except the tickets, quickly retrieved what she wanted.

"Here you go, Miss," he smiled back. Quistis had let everyone go off on their own for an hour while she ran a few errands, hoping none of them would get in trouble. Selphie had gone shopping, saying that Timber had the best selection of shoes anywhere. Paxx and Krik - Quistis had finally remember their names - went to the weapons store to check on any upgrades they could afford. She didn't have any idea where Seifer had gone, and she didn't really care. She was still angry with him for insulting her.

"Thanks." She slipped the tickets into her pocket after paying and started toward the building that the new Timber government had set itself up in. Technically, they were her employers, and she wanted to have a short meeting with them before departing. She'd met some of then before on her first trip to Timber, almost all of them had been part of the resistance that had employed Squall, Selphie, and Zell. They all knew Rinoa, and she'd insisted that Quistis send them her well wishings.

Timber was a charming community that Quistis was remotely fond of. The trees that had given the city its name were no longer prominent on the landscape, but the city still had the feel of a town protected on all sides by thick woods. The people had gained confidence after being liberated, and their culture was once again flourishing.

"Quistis! Good...you're here!" She turned at the sound of her name, and saw a man she recognized dimly, but couldn't quite place, rushing up to her, the look on his face one of relief.

"Yep," she shrugged. "I'm here."

"Is Rinoa with you?" he asked, his compact body virtually shuddering with excitement.

"I'm afraid not..." Quistis cringed inwardly. Why wasn't anyone ever happy just to see her?

"Oh...Squall then?"

"Nope," she shook her head. "Squall and Rinoa were unavailable. Rinoa sends you her best though."

"Oh..." he paused, and then a brilliant smile broke out on his face. "That girl's so sweet. Isn't she? I'm a little jealous that you've all taken her away from me."

Quistis cocked her head, a little irritated. She guessed that he was more that just a little jealous. Rinoa seemed to have everyone's heart in the palm of her delicate hand, it boggled Quistis' mind to think of how she possibly had the time to enamor so many different men to her beauty and charm. It was a talent that seemed inept, one that Quistis lacked completely. She'd had other things to worry about more for most of her life than men. She seldom dated and was still struggling to force herself to move on from Squall.

"Well, I'm sure she'll make her way back here to visit soon," Quistis replied sweetly.

"I hope so," he shook his head. "I miss her, a lot. Do you want me to walk with you to the town hall? You've got a meeting there today...don't you?"

"Yeah," she nodded and fell into step with him.

"It's too bad really..." he sighed wistfully. "Rinoa not being with you I mean."

"Yeah, well...she's pretty reluctant to leave Squall's side," Quistis replied a little acidly, knowing it was childish of her to be so bothered by the man's fondness for her friend. She groaned inwardly as he started into a long story about something he'd once done with Rinoa. She didn't care, and she didn't want to know, but he seemed sweetly oblivious to that fact.

_ Rinoa...I'm so sick of hearing that name. Just once, can't it be Quistis?_

"Quistis!" She almost swallowed her tongue.

Seifer came striding up to her, his gait smooth and determined. He held out one hand as he approached, and for a wild minute she thought he was offering it for her to hold.

"I need some money."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"It's too bad that shitty leaders and shitty instructors don't get paid much, isn't it?" she spit out with venom and angrily walked away.


	3. Incognito

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Paxx and Krik be mine...but....if you want them, go ahead and take them. 

A/N: I have to say that I am nothing short of amazed at how supportive all the reviews have been, especially considering that I'm a new author to you all. You guys are awesome...thank you! 

Chapter 3: Incognito

Selphie walked up to the street vendor with a brilliant smile across her face. At Quistis' request, she'd changed out of her yellow dress and opted for a simple dusty pink skirt and pale yellow, button up shirt. It wasn't her usual style, she loved bright colors, but Quistis had been adamant that they dress to blend in with the crowd. Selphie's hair had also been redone. Quistis had straitened out her hard earned flips with a curling iron and then curled all of her hair under to hide her uneven ends.

Selphie frowned a little to herself. She looked so..._average_.

Humming to herself, she once again started down the busy streets of Deling City. She was supposed to blend in, listen to the rumors flying around among the people, try to find out what the buzz on the street was. Presently, all she'd found out was that a man named Harry was apparently a "huge ass" and that the Deling City street vendors charged unreasonably high prices for their food.

Paxx and Krik were on the same boring job that Selphie was. Quistis didn't trust Seifer to just wander around the town without causing a disturbance, so he was with her.

Seifer...his name seemed to be coming up more often than not. Selphie and Quistis had spoke of him often as she redid Selphie's hair. Quistis seemed upset, but she wouldn't divulge any of the details. She wasn't into sharing much, and when something bothered her, she seemed to like to keep it to herself for a while.

Selphie hadn't been reluctant to speak her mind. She didn't like Seifer, and that was no secret. Hate was much to strong of a word, she didn't hold everything that he'd done against him, but she still found him unreasonably grating. He seemed to delight in pushing other people away, in making them feel sad and angry. However, Quistis seemed to be taking the brunt of his attacks. At every turn he did something to make her life just a little bit more difficult. Selphie had often wondered if he just resented being on the mission and was trying to get Quistis to send him home.

"Hey, Selphie...any luck?" Paxx had fallen into step beside her, his dark hair just barely peeking out of a navy blue cap.

"Nope," she reached up and touched her own hair, still not used to the new style. "You?"

"Not really," he sighed. "Saw Quistis and Seifer."

"Really?" This perked Selphie's interest. "Where were they going? Was he being a jerk to her? Was she fighting back?"

"They were walking toward General Caraway's mansion," he replied. "Quistis looked angry, Seifer just looked smug...and neither of them were saying anything."

The constant tension between Quistis and Seifer had come to be the best kind of gossip among the team. The entertainment value alone was staggering, everyone had their own theories on what would happen next. Paxx had his money on Quistis...he was pretty sure that at some point she'd reach her limit and bitch Seifer out like he'd never been bitched out before. Krik was leaning more toward Seifer. He felt, understandably, that Quistis wouldn't be able to stand up to Seifer and would eventually bend to his will.

Selphie didn't have any idea who would come out on top. She hoped Quistis, but there was always the chance that the constant fighting would only continue for the remainder of the mission and not stop until they were safely back at Garden. Neither party was likely to give in quickly.

"I wonder what they've got to talk to General Caraway about..." Selphie mused. "I mean, obviously...something about the mission...but, what?"

"Maybe just to ask him about the rumors," Paxx offered. "He would be the perfect man to ask."

"Yeah...maybe..." Selphie ran her fingers through her hair. "He might not know though. I mean...being Rinoa's father and all, they probably don't tell him a whole lot in advance. Don't 'ya think?"

Paxx shrugged in response, his dark brown eyes surveying the people around him with trained acuity. The people of Deling City were largely unaware of the SeeD presence in their fair city. Most of the people who milled by had their own problems to deal with, some of which were relatively important while mattered only to the head that had conjured them up. Selphie had found out about most of the problems, and felt like she'd suddenly been thrown into the audience of a daytime talk show

"I don't care what they're doing," Paxx finally replied. "I'm just glad that I don't have to deal with Seifer."

***

"You're making a mistake," Seifer insisted.

"Seifer...I am not making a mistake," Quistis sighed. "He's Rinoa's father, he'll help us."

"You're a SeeD, you're not supposed to need help."

"Right, I'm a SeeD...a mercenary...I infiltrate and kill, fight...I don't spy," she shot back. "We need to get inside somehow, and this is the best way." She could feel her muscles bunching with tension and anger. She was sick of Seifer questioning her authority, and had she been a woman prone to random acts of violence, she probably would have swung around and choked him to death with her whip hours ago.

"Remember when you were captured?" he asked, grabbing Quistis' wrist to slow her progress toward the mansion that was looming in the distance.

"Oh, you mean when you tortured Squall?" she asked in a vicious whisper. "Yeah, I remember that." Seifer didn't even flinch, but his grip on her arm tightened.

"Remember how daddy got his little girl out?" he hissed. "Remember how he left everyone else there to rot? He's a general...if they are planning something, he's at the top of it, and he's not going to let us come walking in to stop them."

Quistis jerked her arm away from him, more angry than ever because his argument was so logical. She didn't want to cave into that logic, didn't want to admit that she was wrong. But...what if she did walk into the general's mansion and started asking questions? What if she compromised the entire mission just to save face? Would that be work worthy of an instructor?

They were beginning to draw the attention of people passing by. Seifer pulled his cap low to hide his face from them and drew Quistis into the shadows.

"Look, if you want to fuck up this whole damn thing, that's fine with me," he announced viciously, his jaw tightly clenched and his voice hushed. "But, I don't particularly want to be killed by the damn Galbadian army when they find out who I am!" Quistis was about to reply with her own cutting remark when an idea suddenly struck her.

"Seifer! That's it!" She gasped audibly, and a man wandering by hooted lewdly at them. Seifer flipped him off, the look that crossed his face under the shadows of his hat aggravated.

"What's it?" he demanded when he turned back to her.

"The army," she replied, her anger giving way to excitement. "We could join the army."

"Have you lost it? I mean...really...because you're not making any sense at all," he grunted and stepped back away from her as if she'd just announced that she was infected with a highly contagious disease.

"No, I haven't lost it," she snorted, then looked around to make sure no one could hear her. "We can join the army. We'll be incognito...disguise ourselves. As soldiers, we'd definitely find out what's up. Right?" Quistis' heart started pounding unmercifully against her ribs. It could work...they'd be on the inside. Most importantly, it was her idea, one she was feeling more and more confident in by the moment.

"I used to think I was insane," Seifer shook his head. "But you're about as damn nutty as anyone I've ever seen."

"You just know that it'll work!" she shot back. "We've got to round everyone up...change the orders completely."

"It's not going to work," Seifer was trailing after her now, the embodiment of the doubt that always echoed in the back of her mind. She tried to block him out. Joining the army would work, it had to work...there was nothing else. They could hang around Deling City for a few more weeks, be wandering the streets stupidly when the army attacked Timber and Dollet, or they could become a part of it. They could stop everything from the inside. It was a beautiful plan, and Quistis was proud of it.

He continued to walk behind her, unusually silent. Seifer was never without something to say on any matter. Quistis was sure that she could bring up the subject of knitting and he'd find something to argue or be rude about. He just wouldn't be Seifer if he let a chance to be mean pass him by.

As she turned a corner, she almost walked right past the very average looking Selphie. The change of hair and dress had staggering effects on Selphie's appearance. She'd never looked like a mercenary, but presently she looked just like every other girl her age on the face of the planet. She still retained her cute, perky good looks, but there was nothing other than her grass green eyes that really made her overly unique anymore.

"Quistis..." Selphie paused. "You look happy."

"I am...change of plans." she replied. "Where's Paxx and Krik?"

"Back at the hotel," Selphie motioned in the general direction of the hotel with her hand. "Wrapping up for the night."

"Okay...good, let's go." Selphie cast Seifer a curious look as they walked toward the hotel. Quistis was fairly boiling over with relief. Her instructors license was in hand, she could almost see it being presented to her. She'd been a little uneasy when they arrived in Deling City and she went to give orders only to realize that she didn't have the slightest idea what to do. Suddenly having direction was a blissful gift to Quistis' mental state of well being.

They found Paxx and Krik waiting in Quistis and Selphie's room, waiting patiently to give their reports. Quistis, however, wasn't interested in hearing them and started in on her announcement as soon was the door closed behind Seifer, clicking shut with finality.

"Alright," she cleared her throat, "we've got a new plan. We're abandoning the current plan and are going to go deeper undercover tomorrow morning."

"Oh! Fun!" Selphie tossed herself down on the bed. Seifer said something unintelligible under his breath and leaned heavily against the doorframe.

"We're going to be joining the Galbadian Army," Quistis continued. "All of us have been trained in combat, so faking being a soldier should be a piece of cake. Of course, there's no telling where we might get posted, so we have to find some way to stay in contact with one another. What we'll try is requesting a place to be stationed and hope that the request goes through. If not, we will stay in contact via the phone."

"What if they tap the wires?" Selphie bolted upright on the bed.

"Why would they do that?" Quistis shook her head. "They don't have any reason to record every conversation every soldier has on the phone. If anyone asks about it, you're calling your family."

"Yeah, but what if they do!" Selphie continued. "I mean, what if one of us gets caught and we're all separated?"

"Don't blow your cover," Quistis shrugged. "Hopefully we won't be separated at all."

"But, if we were all split up," Krik broke in, fueled by Selphie's what-if scenarios, "and something happens that our cover is blown, we're all pretty much screwed. We'd be lucky to get out with the five of us fighting, alone we'd never make it."

Quistis sighed and leaned against the dresser, resting her head momentarily in her hand.

_ Think...think...there's a way around everything. What can I do? I can't just walk in there and demand that we all get conveniently placed with each other._

"How about we say we're specialists?" Selphie offered. "Missile specialists or something."

"They'd want some sort of proof," Quistis shook her head.

"Since we're spies," Seifer levered himself away from the door. "How about we just lie?"

"Lie about what?" Quistis asked, not appreciating his tone of voice.

He grinned and walked over to Quistis. One of his gloved hands landed on her shoulder and the other motioned to Selphie, who was still laying on the bed, and Paxx.

"Well, I believe we have couple number one right over there," he grinned. "Paxx and Selphie...they're inseparable you know, and Selphie just won't have him going off somewhere without her."

"Pass Selphie off as Paxx's girlfriend?" Quistis asked in mild disbelief. Paxx and Selphie exchanged glances, then looked back to Quistis.

"Don't forget Quistis and Krik..." Seifer replied, giving her a hard shove toward the other man.

"What about you?" she asked, digging her heels into the carpet and turning to face him. "I'm more worried about you being alone than anyone else."

"Oh...nice to know you care," he raised a hand to cover his heart. "But, I can take care of myself."

"So can I," Quistis narrowed her eyes. "That's not the point. I don't trust you to be alone on this mission."

"Well, one of us has to be...unless you can find a way to travel in three," Seifer shrugged. In that moment, Quistis thought she hated him more than ever before. Not only was his idea the best one, but he was quickly taking on the role of leader..._her_ role.

"Paxx...Krik..." Quistis spun around to face them, silently fuming at Seifer. "The two of you have a fairly strong resemblance to one another. Do you suppose that you could pass for brothers?" The two looked at one another, seeming to notice the similarities in their physical appearance for the first time.

"Sure," they both replied at the same time.

"Good...I'm sure they'll be willing to station two brothers together," she sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted by the events of the day.

"This is so cool!" Selphie rolled onto her back on the bed and tucked her arms close to her chest. "We're actually going undercover with fake identities."

"I'll see you in the morning," Quistis announced to Paxx, Krik, and Seifer, then turned her back on Seifer to speak directly to the other two. "We won't all go down to register together, so Selphie will decide when you go. She'll be your leader."

"Yes, Sir," they both nodded and started out of the room. Seifer started to follow them, and then turned around.

"They'll recognize me, you know," he announced. "But wait...let me guess...you've thought of that already."

Quistis hadn't, but she thought it'd be best to not admit that to him.

"You'll have to dye your hair or something," she shrugged. "The scar is fairly tell-tale, but they may not think about it if you don't look like the Seifer they remember...if, indeed, any of them have clear spaces of memory from the incident with Matron."

"Ah, hell," he turned around and raked a hand through his hair. "Damn...fine...I'll dye my hair."

"Seifer," Quistis called out to him as he was about to close the door behind him. "I'll help you in the morning if you want...we're going to need to buy a lot of hair dye."

A/N again: K...so, I'm thinking this wasn't my best chapter ever. I had a hard time writing this one for some reason.


	4. Lies

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: I never claimed...don't know why I have to disclaim

A/N: I'm going to have such severe carpel tunnel someday...don't think I've been outside much lately, this fic has completely taken me over. All the better for some of you, but it's getting really hard on me sitting in this room....

Chapter 4: Lies

"Hold still!" Quistis could hear Selphie laughing from the other room as she fought with Seifer.

"No fucking way!" he dodged her. "It burns...are you trying to melt off my scalp or what?" He had hair dye on half of his head, smashed down into his blonde hair and was leaning against the sink, holding Quistis' hands back.

"Seifer...it doesn't burn," she rolled her eyes. "It's just hair dye. If you'd just hold still, I could get this over with."

"I'll wear a hat," he insisted. "This is just stupid."

"Seifer...I'll get Selphie, Paxx, and Krik in here to hold you down," she warned. "Now sit back down!" He narrowed his aqua eyes at her and begrudgingly reseated himself on Quistis' make-shift barber chair - the toilet with the lid down. Satisfied that he was going to stay, she readjusted her clear, plastic gloves and squeezed some more of the dye into Seifer's hair.

"I'm telling you...it burns," he insisted stubbornly.

"It would only burn if I was bleaching your hair, and I'm dying it black," Quistis rolled her eyes. "So calm down. It's all in your head."

"More like on my head," he shot back, his shoulders rolling forward tensely. He had one of Krik's white, undershirts slung around his shoulders so the dye wouldn't stain his clothes. Krik had been only mildly reluctant to part with the old garment, which was full of holes and had, without a doubt, served him for a number of years.

"You know," Quistis hovered close to him as she spread the dye about his head, "this whole thing would probably be much easier if you'd just try to get along with me."

"Funny, I thought you said it would be easier if I got along with Selphie," he retorted.

"Well...that was when I thought you'd actually be around Selphie," she shrugged. "But, since I'm stuck with you..."

"I still think I'd be better off without any of you," he shrugged, tilting his head to one side to look up at her - no doubt, to gauge the impact of his remark.

"Don't move you head like that unless you want this crap running down your face," she frowned. Dutifully, he straitened his head. Quistis smiled a little to herself at that, at least he was following orders for once.

"Quistis...damn it..." he grumbled when she wrenched his head to one side to make sure she got all of his hair. "You could at least have the decency to warn me before you do something like that!"

"Sorry," she apologized. "I'll let you know next time."

Selphie's head peeked into the bathroom, her green eyes alive with amusement. Seifer, who's hair was sticking up in a wild disarray and covered with the dark, gooey hair dye, narrowed his eyes to hostile little slits.

"What?" he demanded.

"Nothing," Selphie held up her hands, "I was just coming in to see if Quistis needed any help."

"Actually," Quistis turned to look at her comrade. "I think I'm okay. When are you planning on leaving?"

"As soon as we finish breakfast," Selphie replied, taking a long, teasing bite of a jelly filled doughnut. "These are so good...I mean, like, beyond regularly good. Positively euphoric!" She held herself up against the door frame and grinned at Seifer.

"Don't think I won't come over there and hurt you, Selphie," he growled.

"Oh...I thought Seifer was following orders now..." Selphie taunted.

"Selphie..." Quistis sent her a warning look. Seifer did seem to be following orders, and she didn't want Selphie's taunts to reinforce his dislike for authority. Of course, Quistis had gone to some extremes to be sure he would follow her orders. Not at all convinced he'd be willing to dye his hair, she'd held his breakfast hostage. He didn't get to eat until his hair was raven black.

"Sorry, Quistis." Selphie had the good grace to flush with embarrassment and escort herself out of the bathroom.

"Always knew I'd end up in Hell someday..." Seifer shook his head, causing Quistis to drip a little of the dye onto Krik's old shirt.

"You don't need to be so negative all the time," Quistis replied and stepped over his legs to get to the other side of him. "Maybe if you looked at the bright side of things every once and a while, you wouldn't be so cranky."

"I'm not cranky," he insisted, looking up at her. "I'm just honest."

"Whatever you say," she shook her head lightly. "You're done...now you just have to let that sit for a while and wash it out."

"How long?" he asked. "I thought that when you were done this whole stupid thing would be done too. I didn't know there was any waiting time involved here."

"Not long," Quistis bit at her bottom lip. "Just an hour."

"An hour?" he got up, rising to his full height in front of her. "I'm not waiting a fucking hour!"

"If you don't, you'll look spotted," Quistis replied, pulling off her gloves and tossing them in the garbage can. "If it makes you feel any better, you can eat breakfast now."

"Yeah, like I'd want to eat with this smelly shit on my head..." he bit out and walked out of the bathroom to check the time. Quistis lagged behind in the bathroom for a few more moments, wondering what exactly she was getting herself into by going off alone with Seifer. Surely less than if she let him wander off without someone to watch him, but there was still a doubt in the back of her mind as to whether she could spend any length of time alone with him without killing him.

Selphie, Paxx, and Krik were getting ready to leave by the time Quistis finished her breakfast. Seifer was pacing around the room like a caged animal, and she tried her best to block out the tension that came from him.

"Wish us luck," Selphie reached out and grabbed Quistis' hand in her own. Her touch was comforting, friendly. It hadn't been often in the past few days that Quistis had felt like she really had a friend. The simple gesture from Selphie, however, reassured her that everything would work out and she'd be back in Balamb with an instructors license in hand by the end of the month.

"Good luck," Quistis smiled.

"You're going to need it," Seifer offered. "How much more time?"

"Little under half an hour," Quistis replied.

"You're sure I can't wash it out now?" he asked.

"Positive."

Selphie snickered and leaned close to whisper in Quistis' ear.

"Good luck with him," she said. "I can't even begin to tell you how relieved I am to be Paxx's girlfriend instead of his! But, you're tough, Quisty...you'll keep him in line."

"Thanks," Quistis replied, a genuine smile crossing her lips. She'd need luck on her side. Cid couldn't have chosen a more difficult test of her skills than Seifer, and he knew it just as well as she did. The only up side Quistis could really see to the whole ordeal was that showing she could lead Seifer would prove to everyone - including herself - that she could lead anyone.

"I've been practicing my fussy girlfriend act," Selphie announced as she gathered up her things in a small pile. "I think I've got it down."

"Great," Quistis leaned back in her chair, and looked down at her feet. "You seem very prepared, I know you'll do beautifully on this assignment."

"You too," Selphie grinned. "Anyway, I'm off to join the army! Or...rather...enlist my _boyfriend _in the army." She giggled into her hand and waved enthusiastically as she walked out the door, wishing Seifer luck on his hair. The door closed behind her, leaving Quistis and Seifer in a tense, thick silence.

"Can't say I'll miss her," Seifer finally broke it. With a long sigh, he flopped down on a chair and grabbed the last doughnut. Quistis watched him with interest as he chewed, reflecting upon how much he'd changed since he was her student. He'd been problematic, that was no secret, but he'd also been filled to the brim with a kind of charming self-confidence. The entire ordeal with the Ultemica had replaced bits and pieces of that self-confidence with tension. As her student, his teasing aggression had been boyish. The only time she could remember his violent side taking on the frightening, murderess fever that engulfed him presently was when he slashed Squall's face.

The boy had been replaced by a man. A man who was frayed around the edges and further from peace than anyone Quistis had ever met.

"What?" he demanded. "I know I look like an ass, but that doesn't mean you can stare at me."

"Hmm?" Quistis came suddenly back to reality. "Oh...sorry. I didn't mean to stare, I was just thinking."

"About what?" he swallowed down the last of his doughnut and licked off his fingers.

"About back when I was an instructor actually," she shrugged. "Guess I just miss it...simpler times."

"You weren't exactly the most talented instructor ever to grace Garden," Seifer laughed. "I was your student...and look at me. Must be great to get the chance to work with your greatest failure."

Quistis frowned. She'd never really thought of him as such, but Seifer really was her greatest failure. It had been her job to get through to him, and she'd failed miserably. A part of her liked to think that it was Seifer's choice to fail, all instructors had failing students. After all, he rarely paid attention in class, he acted up constantly...how could she do anything but fail him?

"How long?" he asked.

"Fifteen minutes."

"Damn."

***

Quistis sat down on the bed and pulled off her boots. The leather was soft and well worn. They'd been best friends to her feet for the past four years, and even though they'd become increasingly worn, she hadn't had the guts to get herself a new pair. They just wouldn't be the same. Her skirt quickly went the way of the boots, landing on top of them in an orange heap. Orange wasn't her favorite color, in fact, she didn't even particularly like orange. The outfit, though, was her favorite simply because of the style.

Humming lightly to herself, she pulled off her shirt as well and, standing in her underwear, looked for something inconspicuous to wear. She figured that it probably wasn't likely that the average woman wore outfits that featured a belt to hold a weapon.

She pulled on a knee length blue skirt and had just gotten a white and blue shirt over her head when there was a knock at her door.

"Come on in," she called out, and moments later Seifer walked in. He paused sheepishly, his golden hair now turned a deep, shimming black. Quistis would have hardly recognized him had it not been for the scar that ran down his face - a gift from Squall.

"I look stupid," he finally announced, slamming the door in his wake.

"You don't look stupid," Quistis insisted. "What's most important is that you don't look like you."

"Yeah...right," he rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall. "Is that what your wearing?"

"Yeah." Quistis looked down at herself. "Why?"

"No reason," he shrugged. He too had changed. The gray trench coat and vest ensemble were gone, replaced by a t-shirt and blue jeans. Combined with the jet black hair, he looked very little like the Seifer who had stood aboard Galbadia Garden and ordered the airborne attack on Balamb Garden.

Smiling to herself, Quistis slipped on a pair or strappy sandals and walked into the bathroom to do something with her hair. Seifer followed behind her, hanging in the background as she let her hair down and pulled a wide toothed comb through it.

"What?" she finally asked.

"When are we leaving?" he asked. "Because I don't think they're really going to care whether you look cute or not."

"I'm not trying to look cute," she rolled her eyes. "Just inconspicuous."

"You couldn't look inconspicuous if you tried," he shook his head and walked away. Quistis frowned at her reflection, looking closely at herself for the first time in days. Her long, golden hair came down around her shoulders and back, curling a little on the ends. So maybe she had a few distinguishing characteristics - her hotly blue eyes and a few scars of her own here and there - but assuming everyone would immediately notice all of her imperfections no matter how hard she tried to hide them was unreasonable.

"Are you ready to go?" she asked, turning away from the mirror to see Seifer picking her clothes up off the floor.

"I've been ready," he replied. "Waiting on you."

"Well then...let's go." She grabbed her skirt from him as he went to toss it on the bed with everything else he'd picked up. It took her only a few short moments to get all of her clothes packed and together.

"We'll come back for them," he announced.

"No we won't," Quistis shook her head. "I'm in charge, and I say we take them with us. We'll check out as we leave." Grimacing, Seifer walked away from her to get his own things, muttering under his breath the whole way.

"Bossy little bitch..." he grumbled.

"That's hardly a way to talk about your beloved, Seifer," Quistis called after him.

"Beloved my ass."

Seifer was relatively quiet as they checked out of the hotel and walked toward the army recruiters office. His insults fell into a brooding silence, and Quistis wasn't really sure which she preferred. The silence was a little too much like Squall in his pre-Rinoa days. The dark hair didn't help to dim his sudden resemblance to arch-rival.

Paxx, Krik, and Selphie were nowhere to be found when they entered the small office, and Quistis heaved a sigh of relief. The man behind the desk was in full uniform, aside from the helmet which sat on his desk and was being used as a paper weight. He smiled at them as they walked in.

"Hello. How can I help you?" he asked, looking back and forth between the two of them. His dark eyes caught momentarily on Quistis until Seifer's arm snaked around her shoulders and pulled her toward him.

"Well," Seifer grinned down at Quistis for a moment, "I'd like to join the army."

"Oh, great!" The recruiter scrambled to find the proper paperwork. "Please, have a seat." They both lowered themselves into chairs, and the uniformed man practically shoved the papers and pen into Seifer's hands.

"Great," he began to fill in the blanks quickly in a loopy, almost illegible scrawl. "When will I be able to start?"

"As soon as you want," the man grinned, obviously having a good day.

"Good, because we'd like to leave as soon as possible," Seifer replied, his voice dripping with faux enthusiasm.

"We?" The man tilted his head and gave Quistis a curious look. "I'm assuming you must mean this lovely lady."

"Yep," Seifer shoved his paper across the desk. "The missus...we're expecting." He reached over and patted Quistis' stomach.

"We're not - "

"She's a little touchy about it," Seifer interrupted her. "Worried she's going to balloon up to two hundred pounds or something."

"You know, my wife was the same way for our first!" the recruiter leaned on his elbows. "Funny little woman thing I think."

"Must be," Seifer shrugged.

Quistis was fuming. Seifer had blatantly strayed from the plan. She wasn't supposed to be his pregnant wife, she was supposed to be his girlfriend. Sitting back in her chair and trying to hide her murderous intentions toward her _husband_, she let them talk.

"Anyway," the recruiter took Seifer's papers and added them to the growing pile under his helmet. "I'm sure we can get you and your wife on a train in a few hours. I can get you a uniform here, or you can get one when you arrive at your post."

"Oh, I'll just get one now," Seifer replied. "There'll be somewhere safe for her to stay, won't there?"

"Oh! Of course!" the man nodded. "We never send new soldiers anywhere dangerous, so you're wife is free to stay with you through training and until you feel that she's in a situation you don't want her to be."

"Wonderful!" Seifer grinned widely. "Well then...how about that uniform?"

"Right this way!" 

Seifer cast Quistis a cocky grin as he walked out of the room, and she silently tried to find a good reason not to kill him. 


	5. Falling

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: FF8 is not mine

A/N: This one's a little short...and...a little disjointed. I'm not quite happy with it, but, whatever. Onward we go! I don't usually update so fast, but I'm always irritated when someone takes forever to update (even though I'm so often guilty of that....) I have a lot left to go anyway.

Chapter 5: Falling

"You're too touchy, Quistis," Seifer shook his head as he set down his bag beside the bed. "Who really gives a damn what I said? I mean, we both know its not true."

"Seifer," Quistis seethed, "you told them that I was your pregnant wife. Pregnant...I mean, Hyne...what the hell were you thinking?"

"That I was tired of you being such a bitch," he replied, his voice surprisingly even. "I figured that as long as you were being so fucking moody, I'd make up a good cover for it. Pregnant women _are _moody, aren't they?"

"I don't know!" Quistis spun on her heel and forked a hand through her hair, trying desperately to calm herself down. She hadn't said anything to him on the train, and he hadn't said anything to her. However, her anger hadn't calmed as she'd hoped it would. Presently, in their new home away from home, she felt as if she was just being faced with another dilemma that she didn't want to deal with.

"Look, Quistis..." Seifer flopped down onto the bed, the evening sun shining in on him through the window, "I honestly don't think you could ever pull off being the kind of clingy girlfriend who'd go off with her boyfriend to Hyne knows where."

"Oh, but I'm perfect for the role of the bossy, pregnant wife...is that it?" she demanded.

"Keep your voice down," he replied. "Unless you want the whole base to realize who we are."

"Seifer," Quistis lowered her voice, "you were really out of line...and I don't think I have ever been this mad at you. I don't even want to _see _you for the rest of the night."

"Great, because I don't really want to see you either," he retorted.

"Fine...great!" She turned her back on him and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. It was a silly place to retreat to, but there really was no where else for her to go. The room they'd been issued was much like one in a hotel. The main room housed a bed, television, table, and two matching chairs. A bathroom branched off from the main room, a dim, beige colored room covered in well used linoleum tiles. The only difference between a hotel room and their army issue room was that the bathroom had no towels or free products.

"Just wonderful..." Quistis frowned at herself in the mirror, wondering what she was going to do. She couldn't just walk back out of the bathroom and face Seifer again. Sighing, she eyed the bath tub. There were no towels, but she didn't particularly care. With sheer determination and anger, she turned on the water and starting pulling off articles of clothing. A long hot bath would at least relax her tense body.

"You know we don't have any towels...right?" Seifer yelled through the door.

"Yes, I realize that!" she yelled back. "Go away!"

"Fine..." she heard his footsteps as he walked away from the door. The rush of the water blocked out anything he might have said, for which Quistis was mildly thankful. Her curiosity picked at her to listen to the things he said under his breath, but those things all too often only served to fuel her temper.

As she waited for the tub to fill, she paced, her bare feet making little plopping sounds against the linoleum floor.

She wasn't sure why Seifer's lie made her so angry or even if it had been just that singular thing that had sent her fuming. He'd been pushing it with her since the beginning of the mission, but his little white lie had just gone too far.

_ Who does he think he is? He can't just walk around and do whatever he wants...other people have feelings too. Damn it. This is my mission...my instructors license is on the line...why can't he just give in?_

She felt tears stinging at the back of her eyes.

_ Why am I crying? This isn't anything to cry about...it won't solve anything to cry. I won't cry...not because of him!_

Turning off the faucet, she climbed into her waiting bath. The water was warm, a little too warm, and made her skin tingle. Letting out a shaky, angry sigh she let herself sink down into the warm, liquid cocoon the water had formed around her body. The heat sunk deep into her muscles, permeating her willing flesh all the way down to the bone. It was a delicious, relaxing feeling, and she hardly noticed as the tears trickled down and the anger began to bleed away.

Sinking further down, she let the water lap at her chin and closed her eyes. One of her legs hung out of the short tub, dripping silently on the floor. Quistis didn't notice the small puddle she was creating, and instead turned her mind upon her raven haired partner.

Even the idea of being Seifer's wife was beyond her mind to comprehend. Her imagination was boggled by the idea and was completely unable to come up with a suitable image. Honestly, Quistis had never even thought of Seifer as being the kind to get married. She'd always imagined him alone. Sure, he'd have girlfriends...affairs...but he would never commit. What would he have to give to a relationship like that? Sarcasm, pain, anger...hardly the gifts to bestow upon a wife.

She let out a long sigh and moved a hand back and forth through the water, listening to the gurgling sound of the waves she created. Anger still hummed in her chest, but the roar of it she had experienced earlier had subsided.

_ Just keep thinking about the promotion...if there's one thing in this world I can put up with Seifer for, its being an instructor._

Her heart ached at the thought of being an instructor again. She desperately missed teaching, missed being a role model for the next generation of SeeD. As an instructor, she really felt that she was making some sort of impact...she felt fulfilled. Hyne, she even missed sitting at her desk and grading papers long into the night.

Slowly, the anger gave way to be replaced by an aching longing.

"Quistis?"

She groaned to herself and lightly rubbed her temple.

"What do you want?" she demanded.

"I got you a towel, it's hanging on the door knob," Seifer replied, his voice even.

"I didn't expect you to go get me anything," Quistis shot back, angry at his sudden thoughtfulness.

"Well...I can't even _begin _to tell you how great it feels to be so appreciated." She could almost see him sarcastically roll his eyes. "Next time I'll just let you use your own skirt...ungrateful little..."

She waited until she couldn't hear his footsteps anymore before she carefully rose up out of the water. Her skin, ruddy from the hot water, contracted as it came into contact with the cool air, forming goose bumps all over her body. Hugging herself and shivering slightly, she went to step out of the tub.

Quistis hardly knew what was happening. She was only aware that she didn't want it to happen. Her feet slipped out from underneath her, and she saw a flash of herself in the mirror moments before she hit the floor with an unhealthy sounding slap.

"Agh," she groaned with the pain that was racing through her hands, bottom, and back. For a second or two she sat on the floor, panting and wincing. Slowly, she went to lift herself up off of the floor. The muscles where she'd fallen were stiff and cried out when she went to use them. Supporting herself on the counter, she cracked the door open and reached around it for the towel.

The fluffy, white piece of cloth was a welcome site, and she quickly dried off and got dressed.

"Ugh...Hyne..." she grumbled as she walked out of the bathroom, touching the spot where her back had hit the side of the bathtub with trepidation. She'd definitely have a bruise or two.

"You okay?" Seifer asked from the bed where he was busily flipping through the channels on the television.

"Little late to be asking that," she replied, hobbling over to join him.

"Make up your mind, Quistis," he scoffed. "First you're mad at me for doing some thing nice for you, and now your mad because I wasn't nice...there's no way to win with you."

"Shut up," she barked and flopped down on the bed, laying on her stomach.

"You didn't let the water out, you know," he said after a short pause. Quistis turned her face so she was looking at him.

"It will just have to wait," she replied through gritted teeth.

"This is the reason why we invented the bath mat," he laughed. "Might want to try and find one of those."

"Seifer..." Quistis winced a little, "if you say one more thing, I'm going to give you another scar to compliment that wonderful one Squall gave you."

"Oh, we're cranky when we're in pain," he taunted.

"That's right," she shifted to tuck her arms underneath her. "So please just leave me alone."

"What'd you fall on?" he persisted. "Your ass, right?"

"Seifer..."

"Gonna leave one hell of a bruise," he went on, ignoring her. "One you can really flash around too. Maybe if you showed a little booty, some of the guys on base would be willing to divulge some secrets."

"No one wants to see a pregnant woman's _booty_," she replied.

"Not when it's black and blue," he agreed.

"I hate you."

"I hate you, too."

***

Seifer turned off the television and looked down at Quistis. She was still laying on her stomach, but her eyes were closed and her breathing was even. He hadn't been aware of her falling asleep, but now that he knew she was, he breathed a sigh of relief. Her bare feet were dangling off the edge of the bed, the right one twitching slightly.

Pushing himself up, he walked toward the bathroom. He had to go badly, but had been putting it off out of sheer laziness.

Quistis' towel was flung across the toilet, and her bath water was still waiting patiently to be let down the drain. Shaking his head, he laid the still damp towel down beside the sink and relieved himself before reaching down and pulling the plug out of the bottom of the tub. The now cold water swirled down the drain, creating a little water tornado.

He flushed, hoping the sound wouldn't wake Quistis up. It wasn't so much a worry about her getting a full night's sleep, but rather one for Seifer's own sense of sanity. He remembered Quistis as being bossy, but she'd been absolutely over baring through the entire mission.

A deeply set frown marked his features as he walked back to the bed, contemplating whether or not to sleep on the floor. The bed was wide enough for the both of them to sleep quite comfortably on, but he was fairly confident that if he slept next to her, he'd wake up to an even darker vision of hell the next morning.

Throwing caution to the wind, he sat down and pulled off his shoes. There was no way out of the hole Seifer had dug for himself. A number of demons haunted him, looping back in upon his life to push him down. He was tired of feeling guilty...tired of being the one tainted with evil and anger. If anyone in the world had a right to be angry, Seifer figured it was him. Even after he made SeeD, people weren't willing to give him a chance. He pushed them away before they could push him away...it was a simple philosophy.

Not even bothering to change, he spread himself out on his side of the bed. Beside him he could hear Quistis breathing. She was a constant reminder of everything that was wrong with him. She'd failed him...he'd failed her...it didn't really matter who had been the first one to lose. Occasionally, he watched her watch Squall and Rinoa. She still loved him, but Squall was completely oblivious. Squall...he got everything.

Forking a hand through his hair, he tired to push his thoughts away. Sleep would continue to elude him as long as he was thinking about things. Restlessly, he rolled onto his side and looked at Quistis. She was peaceful in sleep, even with as turbulent as she was in wakefulness. It made him unreasonably angry that everyone else in the world found it so easy just to drift off at night. For him, it was always a struggle.

Quistis groaned a little and rolled onto her back, one of her hands coming up to rest beside her head in a little fist. Her hair shimmered in the moonlight that was flowing in through the window. In sleep, she was beautiful. It was easy for Seifer to forget that sometimes. When she yelled and bitched, she was a far cry from the wonderful vision that was laying beside him. He hated that side of her, the bossy, hard to deal with side. She liked to think of herself as a leader, but in the end she wasn't nearly ruthless enough to make the hard decisions.

If he'd learned one thing from his experience with Ultimecia, it was that people hated to see weakness. Quistis all too often showed that she was weak, that she could be pushed around. She stood up to him because he irritated her...but even he could sway her decisions. She always tried to act like she had everything figured out, even when everyone knew that she was trying desperately to find her way. It wasn't honest, was one of her biggest flaws as a leader. She focused too much energy on being perfect, on creating a façade that made people wonder whether she really was human at all. 

That was why she'd lost her position as an instructor.

Shame rose up in him, hot and angry, as he looked at her. It hadn't really been fair of them to put him on her team. All he had to offer to a team was his gunblade and his biting hate. He hated the way the world had turned on him, he hated the path his life had taken, he hated how Quistis could quicken his blood from time to time. The hate made him angry, violent...rude.

"Shit..." he rolled over, not wanting to look at her anymore. What did he have to offer her...to any woman? Nothing. He was broken, diseased. He pinched his eyes closed tightly, trying to ignore the throbbing in the back of his head.

Quistis had fallen pretty hard in the bathroom...but he'd fallen harder.


	6. G.A.W.

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: No rights to FF8; and, even though the name of one of my characters bares a similar resemblance to something you might order at Wendy's, I own no rights to them either. 

A/N: This chapter is...a little senseless and odd. Although it seems relatively irrelevant now, I assure you that there _is_ a reason I wrote this! There's always a reason why I write things the way I do...lol :)

Chapter 6: G.A.W.

Quistis was warm and comfortable, her relaxed body was fighting her waking mind with every fiber of its being, urging her to stay right where she was. Outside, rain was coming down. She could hear it slapping against the window and the roof, running off in little rivulets that trickled down the gutters. Sighing and smacking a little, she drew her knees up and was surprised when she hit something.

Slowly, groggily she opened her eyes and attempted rather ungracefully to focus them.

It took her a moment to recognize the thing next to her as being Seifer. They were both laying on top of the covers, completely dressed, and fairly close together. She had her mouth open and a hissy fit prepared before she noticed that he was laying on the edge of the bed - _she _was the one laying uncomfortably close.

Flushing with embarrassment, she scooted back over to her side of the bed.

_ My side of the bed? Wait...when did we decide to share anyway?_

Her lethargic mind worked over the situation for a few long moments, and then decided to deal with it later. Nothing had been really hurt by it...they were both the same people they'd been when they fell asleep. The same people who shared mutual sentiments of hate toward one another. A few moments of peace changed nothing.

She sat up with a low groan. Her back and bottom were still sore to the touch, though not as stiff. Cursing the bathroom floor under her breath, she walked over to the mirror, untucking her shirt as she went. She was still wearing the blue skirt and shirt combo that she'd put on back in Deling City. It had only been a day since they'd parted ways with Selphie, Paxx, and Krik, but it seemed like it had been much longer. Distantly, she wondered how they were fairing. Probably much better than she was.

Turning her back to the mirror, she gingerly lifted up the back of her shirt and got her first look at the long, elliptical shaped bruise that now ran across her back at roughly four inches below her shoulder blades.

"Still hurt?" She looked up to see Seifer regarding her from the bed, his aqua eyes still filled with sleep.

"Yeah," she replied and pulled her shirt back down. He yawned and blinked a few times before sitting up.

"I have to start training today," he whined. "Stupid ass idea if you ask me." Quistis didn't reply, she wasn't a big talker early in the morning. She was so used to waking up alone and spending the first hour of her day with nothing but a cup of coffee that her silence had become habitual.

He watched her as she walked over to her bag and dug around for something suitable to change into. She could feel his eyes on her back as if his line of sight were a tangible thing.

"You feeling alright?" he asked.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Why?"

"No reason..."

There was a long pause as Quistis picked up a button up shirt the color of red champaign.

"How about the ass? That doing well this morning?" Seifer finally broke the silence.

"Mmm," Quistis nodded and reached back into her bag to find something that would go well with the shirt. She had just chosen a black skirt when Seifer began to laugh.

"Damn!" he hooted. "Never would have guessed! You're either pissed - which is a definite possibility - or you're actually pleasant in the mornings. Shit, Quistis...wish it could be like this all the time!" He hopped off of the bed and walked into the bathroom, laughter trailing behind him.

Sleep was still hanging heavy on Quistis, or she would have been more upset by his theatrics. She was, however, beginning to realize that they were just that: theatrics. Seifer was a lot of talk, he always had been. Back when he was her student, she'd learned to deal with his need to talk tough by letting the comments roll off her back. Naturally, that was easier said than done and a number of his snide remarks had made it through to sting her deeply. Back then though, there had been little worry of physical threat. Squall was the only person Quistis could really think of who Seifer had ever actually hurt with his gunblade. Presently, that assumption was faulty. Seifer _had _hurt people...indeed, had more blood on his hands than anyone.

However, since his return to Garden, Seifer had seemed to revert back to his old ways. He teased Zell, he wreaked havoc in class, he was once again listed as a "gifted, but problematic" student. The return to normalcy was almost unfathomable to Quistis, and she knew there had to be more going on behind Seifer's cocky smiles than he let on. She'd never had the energy or the will to delve into that world...the dark, frightening world of Seifer's mind. Nevertheless, she was fairly certain that he posed no threat to her person...her mind was a different set of affairs all together.

"Where'd you put my uniform?" Seifer came walking out of the bathroom and started shuffling through his things.

"It's hanging on the closet door," she replied.

"Oh..." He retrieved the blue and silver uniform and retreated to the bathroom once again.

Outside, Quistis could hear the rain start to come down with more force. The gentle slap of the drops had turned into a drumming. The sky, which should have been blazing with the sunrise, was the same dismal shade of gray as Seifer's trench coat.

"Shit...I look just like those bastards!" Seifer emerged from the bathroom minutes later in full uniform, holding his helmet in his hand. It was a little small, fitting tightly in the shoulders and chest.

"No one would ever recognize you..." Quistis replied, struggling to hold back laughter. The uniform and black hair formed a completely new version of Seifer. It was like looking at one of his relatives...vaguely familiar.

"I'd never live it down if someone did..." he looked down at himself. "Seriously, I look stupid."

"No one will care," Quistis shrugged.

"Pssh," he snorted. "Anyway...I'm off. Since you get to sit around here on your lazy ass all day...maybe you can find some more towels?"

"We'll see," she replied. "Don't kill anyone...and, remember...you're a rookie."

"Yeah, rookie, right," he pulled the helmet on over his head and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Quistis smiled a little before she caught herself and schooled her expression.

"I'm going to actually start enjoying his sarcastic remarks if I don't watch it..." she said to herself, shaking her head. The sarcasm wore thin quickly when it was aimed at all of Quistis' imperfections. When Seifer turned his biting attitude around upon himself, Quistis could see humor in them. Although, she wasn't sure he intended them to be funny.

Outside, the rain was coming down in torrents, splashing in through the open window near the bed. Quistis, blaming Seifer since he'd been the one who opened it, slammed it closed with a good, angry sigh.

_ There...that's more like it. Don't know what's gotten into me this morning. I must be really desperate if even Seifer's starting not to look so bad..._

A little bitterly, Quistis smirked to herself. She was beginning to think that there'd been some sort of terrible mix up when she was born. Amazingly, she'd ended up in a world that didn't seem to want her. It seemed more and more that the Prince Charming she'd been dreaming of since she was a little girl was lost, had gotten eaten by some monster, or had never been born at all. So long she'd been waiting to feel love - to feel loved.

Shaking off her depressing thoughts, she caught her resolve once again and set to putting some things away. Knowing she and Seifer would probably have to leave in a hurry, she didn't bother to hang up their clothes. Instead, she stuffed their bags into the closet, checking once on her whip before closing the doors. With as long as Galbadia had been enemy ground, knowing her whip was nearby was comforting. Seifer's gunblade was tucked away as well.

_ Been caught on the wrong end of that weapon a few times..._

Her relationship with Seifer was a spider web of old ties. She'd been his sister, his peer, his instructor, his enemy, and - most recently - his make believe wife. She wasn't really sure how many of those relationships carried weight anymore. Surely he no longer viewed her as his sister or his peer. He hadn't called her instructor in years, not even out of habit. Enemies - there was a hefty one. They'd fought against each other on opposite sides in what could only be called a war. He'd tried to kill her, and she'd tried to kill him. They couldn't easily forget that.

She was about to leave in search of some towels when someone knocked on her door. Baffled as to who it could be, she hesitantly opened it.

"Hi!" The two women standing on the other side came rushing in past her. One of them, the taller of the two, had a basket in her arms.

"Hello..." Quistis was still holding on to the doorknob.

"We're _so _glad to have you here!" the shorter woman grinned. "We're the other two wives on the base."

"The other two?" Quistis asked, still trying to comprehend why the other two women were standing in her room.

"Yes, well...there are so few of us, that we like to stick together," the tall women laughed. "You know...kind of a club. We like to call ourselves the G.A.W. - Galbadian Army Wives."

"Oh."

"And you're our newest member!" the short one gushed. The basket was shoved into Quistis' unsuspecting hands and they waited patiently for her to look at her gift.

"Just a few wifely things..." the tall one shrugged. "Things that are hard to find on a military base. Nylons, hair spray, foundation...those kind of things."

"Oh, how nice," Quistis sent them what she hoped was a charming grin. "I'm Quistis by the way."

"Oh! I can't believe we haven't introduced ourselves yet!" the short one raised her hand to her chest, brushing by her ample bosom. "I'm Ann, and this is Pita."

"Nice to meet you," Quistis nodded.

"We haven't met your husband yet," Ann announced, her chubby fingers playing with her curly hair. "But I thought we should all go out, maybe have a little dinner, to initiate the two of you."

"The two of us?" Quistis laughed a little. "Is he a Galbadian Army Wife as well?"

"Well, of course not," Pita responded well to Quistis' laughter. "But, we couples tend to stick together. Makes living on base a little more...livable."

"Wonderful," Quistis replied, hugging the basket toward her middle. "I'll tell him tonight when he gets back. What time should we expect you?"

"Oh, I'd say around seven," Ann answered. "They usually work pretty late...but, with this rain, they'll stop after dinner. The Galbadian Army is very kind to their soldiers."

"Yes, it seems they are," Quistis nodded, trying not to think of all the mean men she'd seen up the ranks in the Galbadian military. They weren't exactly renowned for their kindness. She guessed that Ann and Pita would have a rude awakening when their husbands went off to war.

"We heard the good news as well," Ann chirped. "How far along are you? We haven't had our first yet...I'm so excited for it though!"

"Oh..." Quistis fumbled. "It's very early yet...only two months or so."

"How wonderful!" Ann grinned a little wider, which Quistis hadn't honestly thought was possible. "Do you have a name picked out yet?"

"No...we haven't talked about it yet..."

"You should," Ann shook her head. "A name is everything, follows the child around their entire life! You really should be picking out a name."

"Oh...we will," Quistis shrugged. "We just...we haven't really been concentrating on _that _lately."

"That?" Pita tilted her head slightly. "What, you mean sex? Because if you looked in the basket - "

"No!" Quistis could feel herself blushing. "I mean...we haven't been concentrating on the pregnancy."

"Oh!" Pita waved a hand absently through the air. "_That_! So, you probably won't need the basket for that."

Quistis felt a little lost and more than a little uneasy. It was hard enough to pretend she was Seifer's wife...even harder to pretend she was going to have his child, she didn't think she could deal with discussing their make believe sex life.

"So...um...do either of you know where I can find some towels?" she asked, doing her best to change the subject.

"They didn't give you any towels?" Ann asked, a frown crossing her face. "You'd think they'd have the sense to give an expectant mother some towels! I mean, what if you fell?"

Quistis had to bite her lip to hide the smile that was creeping across her lips.

"We've got some extra ones you can have," Ann reassured her, mistaking her expression as one of worry. "I'm sure Pita has some as well."

"Yep! No worries, this is why we stick together," Pita chimed in.

"Thanks...I appreciate it," Quistis replied. The two smiled proudly, each of them showing off their perfect teeth. "So...what are the two of you doing for the rest of the day?" she finally asked, figuring it would be a good idea to try and build a friendship as quickly as possible.

"Wife things," Ann shrugged. "That man...he gets more things dirty. Sometimes I wonder why I even put up with him."

"_That _I can sympathize with," Quistis announced, allowing her muscles to relax for the first time since the two had rushed in past her. "My husband drives me crazy sometimes."

"Does yours snore?" Pita asked. "Mine snores...loud. I mean, shaking the bed and knocking things off the wall kind of loud!"

"No, he doesn't snore," Quistis smiled. "He's actually a fairly good sleeper. He just doesn't know when not to open his big mouth sometimes."

"Oh," Ann nodded, and Quistis motioned for them to sit down. "My Greg...he's like that sometimes too. When everything that comes out of his mouth just annoys the hell out of you."

"Exactly!" Quistis perched herself on the edge of the bed. "I just want to smack him upside the head or something."

"Well, obviously there's much more that you love about him that not," Pita smiled, the grin being so different from the previous few that it send shivers up Quistis' spine. "I mean, you're married to him after all, and you'll soon be proud parents."

"Yeah..." Quistis carefully avoided eye contact with the tall, slender Pita. She felt a little guilty, in reality she couldn't think of one thing that she even particularly _liked _about Seifer. No one was all bad, there had to be a few good qualities to him.

"Well..." Pita suddenly stood up. "You probably have a lot to do today. It was nice to meet you, Quistis."

She looked up, and nodded.

"It was nice to meet the two of you, too," she replied. "I'll see you later tonight?"

"Yeah." Pita's fingers brushed Quistis' arm. "Look through the basket, it's full of goodies."

"I will," Quistis laughed a little, wondering what she really would find in the welcome basket. From what Ann and Pita had indicated, it was a wide selection of everything a wife would come to need. The contents would prove interesting to say the least.


	7. Lilacs

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Still don't own FF8 or Wendy's...

A/N: "Unclean! Unclean!" Know that line? From _Dracula_, when Mina is bitten and gets burned with the little wafer and it leaves a mark her her forehead that won't go away until she's human again? The mark is like, a sign of her sin...and it makes her dirty...so she yells "Unclean!" when she sees herself. That's the kind of dirty Seifer refers to in the.....erm....shower.

Chapter 7: Lilacs

"Damn," Seifer threw down his helmet and closed the door behind him. "That was one long fucking day!" He was covered in mud and his dark hair was plastered to his head. "Rained the whole day...it was like wandering around a damn mud pit out there!" Sighing, he started toward the closet.

"Take off your boots."

"What?" He stopped to look at Quistis who was sitting on the bed picking through a basket.

"I said, take off your boots," she repeated, looking up only momentarily.

"Why?"

"Because they're muddy."

"So what?"

"I have to live here too, and the least you can do is take off your muddy boots." She shook her head at him, the action silently saying _idiot_. A little perturbed by her housewife act, he plopped down onto the floor and started unlacing his boots.

"I'm the one out there in the rain and mud," he grumbled. "Actually _doing _something. The least _you _could do is clean up a little mud." Seifer's day had been unreasonably long. The storm that moved in during the night had clung to the skies, pouring water on them and rumbling with unease. Not only had he trained in the mud, but he'd been forced to perform physically straining tasks in it.

_ Move this big heavy thing from point A to point B...oh, and don't get it muddy._

His mind rolled over the various things he'd done, accenting each job with the appropriate curse word. His muscles ached, his mind was humming with sheer boredom, and he was more than just a little pissed off.

"Am I allowed to change out of my uniform now, Quistis?" he asked. "Or, would you rather I just stay in it. Oh! How about this! I could just stand here and dance around for you like a fucking court jester...all at your command."

"Seifer..." she looked up at him for the second time. "Just get changed...we have things to do yet."

"Things to do?" he asked. "Like what? Where'd you get the basket?"

"We're going out to dinner," she replied.

"Going out to dinner? Why? We don't have the kind of money to be going out for dinner just because you can't swallow some army food..." he could feel his mouth getting away with him, and had to force himself not to continue.

"I met two of the other army wives today," she said with amazing calm, "and they invited us out to dinner tonight. I don't know where they intend for us to go...but, it seems like a good idea to get in well with them. Their husbands, I suspect, will be stationed soon and probably have a good handle on what the army is currently planning."

"Damn..." he didn't get up from where he'd sat down on the floor, but collapsed onto his back. "Did you get towels? I'd kill for a shower."

"Yeah, they brought some over for us," she shrugged. "They also brought the basket."

"Yeah?" he rolled onto his side so he could look at her. "What's in it?"

"You don't want to know..." she smiled.

Smile...had that been a smile? Seifer hadn't seen her smile in a long time. Quistis showed her depression and her anger, but she so rarely showed her joy. She was conservative as hell, and it bothered him. She made him uncomfortable because he could never tell quite where he stood with her. She'd said that she hated him, but she also hadn't bit his head off sleeping beside her as he'd thought she would.

"Sure I do," he insisted.

"No...I don't think you do."

"Humor me."

"Feminine things..." she replied vaguely.

"Fine," Seifer rolled his eyes. "Keep your little basket to yourself. I'm going to shower before this stupid, fucking dinner. Next time how about you think whether or not your _husband _will want to go before you just off and say that he will."

Without waiting for her reply - he was inclined to believe that she probably wouldn't give one - he heaved himself up onto his feet and retrieved a change of clothes. It took him a few moments to figure out that Quistis had put things away, and he found his bag sitting in the bottom of the closet.

She'd been in the bathroom as well. The bath tub was now equipped with girly smelling soap, shampoo, and conditioner. Frowning to himself, he closed the door and peeled off his uniform. Cringing with distaste, he put the disgusting thing in the sink, figuring that Quistis would probably wash it for him if he left it there long enough. She was anal like that...she liked to have everything her way and on her terms.

Grinning to himself a little, he turned on the water. Seconds later, he was standing under the hot spray, letting it pound rhythmically against his back. A long, feathery sigh escaped him, and he leaned against the shower wall, watching dirt go down the drain. Seifer had never really felt like he was as good as other people. They had families, people who cared about them unconditionally...all the things he'd never had. Still, he couldn't remember ever feeling really ashamed of himself until after the ordeal with Ultimecia. He'd felt unwanted and hated before, but he'd never felt _dirty_.

His grin faded, turning into a hard-mouthed grimace.

Angry at himself for his weakness - hell, angry at the world - he snapped out of his reverie and grabbed the shampoo, paying no never mind that it was lilac scented. Squeezing a healthy portion of the purple goo into his hand, he started a lather in his hair. His fingers dug into his scalp, leaving little trails of pain behind them. There was a kind of pain that lived deep within him, an aching, open wound that had yet to be addressed. He tended to ignore it, but it was growing and dripping with self-loathing, guilt, and anger.

The flowery scent of the shampoo hung in the hot, humid air and surrounded him. He'd always wondered what the sweet smell was that clung incessantly to Quistis, tingling at his senses every time she was near him. Now, he knew. Shampoo...he'd never even dreamed it would be something as simple as shampoo.

"Great...now I'll smell like a woman too," he grumbled to himself. Flowers were great on women, strange on men. He knew she'd laugh at him.

He grabbed the conditioner and looked at it for a moment with genuine curiosity. He'd never used conditioner...never really needed to. Sometimes he'd use to two in one stuff, but he'd certainly never used purple, lilac scented, moisturizing conditioner. Experimentally, he squeezed some into his hand and started rubbing it into his hair. It didn't lather like it thought it was going to, but, undaunted, he continued. When he finally went to rinse it out, he couldn't help but smile at how it made his hair feel slick and smooth. Maybe girls had the right idea - not that he intended to become as hair oriented as Squall, but his mind was quickly forming elaborate fantasies of girls running their fingers through his hair.

Shrugging off his wild thoughts, he got back on task. Quistis would be nothing short of pissed if he wasn't ready to go when the other two women showed up to take them out for dinner. He didn't want to go - Hyne, how he didn't want to go - but the sooner they could get back to Garden the better.

***

"Hi! I'm Ann...and this is my husband Greg!" Quistis crossed her fingers behind her back as Seifer greeted the couple.

"Nice to meet you," he grinned charmingly, his hair still wet from his shower. "I'm Seifer...you've already met my wife Quistis..."

"Yep! Hi, Quistis!" Ann waved her chunky little arm. Her husband, Greg, was similarly shaped. His rotund body looked like it had been fed a little too much, most of it ending up hanging over his belt. Seifer towered over him and looked incredibly fit standing next to the chubby couple.

"Where's Pita?" Quistis asked, coming up to stand beside Seifer. They'd decided that it would be easier for them to use his real name. Few of the people in Galbadia had known his real, full name anyway. He was infamous as The Sorceress' Knight...not as Seifer Almasy.

"Oh, she's running a little late, so they'll be joining us in town," Ann replied.

"Oh, where are we going?"

"There's this little tiny town just east of here...pretty much consists of a couple houses, a general store, and a bar that also serves as a restaurant and night club."

"How quaint," Seifer smiled down at Quistis. "Ready to go, Honey?" His fingers bit into her arm, and she was well aware of the fact that he didn't want to go. He couldn't throw a fit in front of Ann and Greg though, so she just smiled back up at him.

"Yep," she said cheerily.

They walked out to Ann and Greg's rented car in relative silence. Seifer would smile down at her from time to time, or grab her hand and squeeze it when the other couple was looking. As soon as they turned away, his smile transformed into an angry glare.

"If these people pull through for us," she whispered to him as they climbed into the car, "then it's all the sooner that we're out of each others' hair. So don't have such a crappy attitude toward the whole thing."

"I had a long day," he whispered back, "and I'm tired. I'd like to be sleeping right about now."

"Oh, Seifer Almasy, one of the best fighters on the face of the planet is tuckered out from a little basic training?" she laughed a little. "You must be getting soft."

"So...Seifer..." Ann interrupted them as he was about to reply. "Have you been thinking about what to name the baby? I told Quistis that finding a good name is the most important thing."

"A name?" he looked down at Quistis for a moment before meeting Ann's eager eyes again. "Uh...actually...I hadn't really thought about that yet."

"Haven't thought about it?" Ann shook her head with disapproval. "You two...what have you been doing for the past month?" Seifer shifted his weight with uncomfort and shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess we probably should start thinking about it..." he muttered. The rest of the journey was filled with idle chatter. They talked about the storm and about the car. If the ride hadn't been so short, they would have run out of small talk. However, as the car lurched to a stop, Seifer and Quistis both gave a sigh of relief.

The bar/restaurant/night club was filled with people - presumably almost the entire population of the town. It was dimly lit and smelled vaguely of pine. The distinction between patron and employee was blurry, and Quistis had a hard time picking out who was a waitress and who was just a wandering customer. Ann and Greg led the way to an empty table and various people greeted them as they walked by. Apparently, they were frequent customers.

"Why doesn't it surprise me that everyone in the restaurant knows them?" Seifer chuckled under his breath. Quistis didn't rebuke him simply because she'd been thinking along the same lines.

"Pita and Andy will be here soon," Ann announced as they sat down. "So, we'll just order while we wait." 

When a waitress finally came over, a notepad in her hand and a pair of black rimmed reading glasses perched on her nose, Ann and Greg were ready to order one of everything on the menu. A distant smile gracing her lips, the waitress patiently wrote down their long orders, prompting them with questions like "Soup, or salad?" and "Did you want a side with that?" When she finally turned to Quistis and Seifer, they were both gaping at the couple sitting across from them.

"Um...I'll just have the soup and a glass of lemonade," Quistis announced.

"And I'm going with the special," Seifer added in.

"Nothing to drink?" the waitress asked, looking at him over the top of her glasses. "We've got some killer drinks on tap."

"No thanks...I'll just have water."

"You sure?" she pressured. "I could get you a daiquiri or something if that's what your into."

"No, that's okay," he replied calmly. Shrugging, the waitress breezed off with the hefty order, weaving in between tables and people.

"No wonder you two are skin and bones," Ann shook her head. "You hardly eat!"

Pita and her husband arrived right before the waitress returned with three other waitresses in tow, the last of which carried Seifer and Quistis' meager meals. Pita and Andy put in their orders, and the table fell awkwardly silent as Ann and Greg dug into their food. It was an amazing feat of nature to watch the two eat. Spoonful after forkful of food entered their mouths to be chewed, swallowed, and followed by another helping. The chatty Ann didn't make a sound, the only noise coming from her direction being the scrape of fork against plate.

"So, Seifer," Pita leaned back in her chair and regarded him with a long look. "How was your day? Andy said that today was pretty much Hell...not really a good way to start things off."

"Yeah, it was pretty bad," he nodded and took a long drink of water. "The mud was awful, made it really tough to get around."

"So I heard," she nodded, then turned her attention to Quistis. "How about you, Quistis. Did you look through the basket?"

"Yeah...I did," she blushed.

"Oh, so you found it then?" Pita grinned.

"Yeah." It had been at the bottom of the basket, underneath all of the flowery soaps and feminine supplies. A tiny, provocative piece of sexy black lingerie. The lacy garment looked tiny and was obviously one that showed more than just a little skin. Quistis had no idea what to do with it, if she took it back to Garden and someone discovered that she had it, the teasing would be relentless.

"Oh, good," Pita smiled. "Did it fit?"

"Yeah..." Quistis lied, she hadn't tried it on. In fact, she'd done little more than hold it up in the air and look at it. Seifer gave her a curious look, but she avoided eye contact with him.

"Wow...that was excellent!" Ann sat back in her chair and rubbed her stomach. "How was yours, Sweetie?"

"Good," Greg nodded. It was the first word he'd said all night, and Quistis had the feeling that Ann was a very dominant wife.

"It's really so hard to find good women's stuff on an army base," Pita continued on her last train of thought without even paying attention to the other couple. "Especially things like _that_!" 

"Greg...let's dance!" Ann jumped up, grabbing her husband's hand. Quistis glanced up from her soup bowl to watch them, amazed at their energy after having eaten a meal that could have kept her well fed for days. Seifer also seemed shocked, and they exchanged glances as they finished off their food. 

"You two can go and dance if you want," Pita offered, seeing them both watching the dance floor. "We won't mind." She offered her husband a sweet smile that he returned ten fold. 

"Oh...I don't really dance..." Quistis shook her head.

"Sure you do, everybody does," Andy tossed in. "Seriously, don't feel like we're holding you back." The couple took one another's hands, and exchanged happy smiles once again. 

"I think they want to be alone..." Seifer whispered. "Let's go."

"But...Seifer!" she protested as he pulled her up onto her feet. Holding her hand tightly in his, he led her out among the other couples and turned to face her.

"This is dumb," she announced.

"No kidding," he replied. "But we need to talk." He gave her arm a solid jerk, pulling her toward him. Frowning, Quistis didn't fight him. It would only draw unwanted attention to them. Raising her hands, she slipped her arms under his and held onto the back of his shoulders as they started to sway to the music.

"Now, what's so important that it can't wait?" she demanded through clenched teeth.

"You're getting attached," he replied. "They're the enemy, you need to remember that."

"Seifer, it's not like we're going to kill them or anything," she rolled her eyes. 

"If we get found out, we might have to do a little killing," he reminded her. "Or, they might kill us. You've got to remember that they aren't your friends! You don't have friends here, Quistis."

"Who says I'm getting attached anyway?" she demanded. "You're jumping to conclusions...always assuming things about me!"

"Okay, then tell me this," he leaned his head back a little. "Could you hit either Greg or Andy with your whip? Could you cast death on them?"

"That's morbid," she shook her head. 

"What's so morbid about it?" he asked. "You've done it before. You fought against me, and that didn't seem to bother you."

"You were trying to kill me at the time," she reminded him.

"So," he tightened his grip on her waist a little as a few other couples got a little too close. He lowered his voice and his head until he was whispering in her ear. "Quistis...this is why you were a bad instructor, why you're a bad leader now...you're too wrapped up in things. Think with your head. They are the enemy...our going out to dinner with them isn't a social event, it's subterfuge. We're spies."

Quistis sighed. 

"They're nice people, Seifer," she replied. "I can't just look at them through hate blinders like you do."

"Damn it," he shifted his weight. "Do you have to be such a fucking control freak that you can't even take good advice when your given it?"

"I'm not a control freak."

"You are."

"Well, then, so are you," she retorted. "You couldn't take an order if your life depended on it."

"I know!" he replied. "At least I can admit it!" 

They fell silent as their argument began to catch the attention of others. Quistis sighed again and tucked her head up by his shoulder, attempting to look peaceful in his embrace. Inside, she felt anything but peaceful. She was angry, partly because she knew he was right and partly because she didn't want him to be. It was hard to think of an enemy in anything more than two dimensions. They didn't have families, they didn't have personalities. They were just the enemy, simple and easy. 

As she took in a deep breath, a soft scent tingled at her nose. It was familiar, but she couldn't quite place it. Curiously, she sniffed the air again. 

It was coming from Seifer.

"Seifer...what...?" she started sniffing at his shoulder curiously, then stood on her tip toes, almost having to climb up on him to get to his hair. He jerked away from her, but she persistently pursued his head, going as far as to pull it down toward her with her free hand.

She pulled back suddenly and laughed when her senses identified the vague scent - lilacs. 

"Seifer...did you use my shampoo?"


	8. Contact

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: This fic is mine...the characters (mostly) are not.

A/N: I love this chapter, I _really_ do...it was so easy to write!

Chapter 8: Contact

Three uneventful days passed before Seifer brought up the topic of the basket again. Quistis had been drilling Ann and Pita, but neither or them seemed very interested in the army's plans. Sitting on the bed with her head in her hands, groaning with frustration, she looked up at him. He waited, and then repeated his question.

"What was in it?" His stance was firm, unrelenting. "Everyone else seems to know except me. I want to know."

"What do you mean everyone else knows?" she asked.

"You know...the guys...they know," he shrugged. "They keep asking me how I liked that basket from the G.A.W. and winking."

"It was just...you know..." she waved a hand around in the air. "Womanly stuff."

"She asked you if it fit," he narrowed his eyes. "I've let it go for three days...now, I want to know. I'm not going to leave you alone until you tell me."

"I'm not going to tell you," she replied belligerently.

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"If you don't tell me, I'll just look through your stuff until I find it," he announced.

"You wouldn't know what you were looking for," she retorted.

"I'm thinking I'd probably know it when I found it," he rolled his eyes. She'd become very familiar with his eyes in the past few days. She had to dye his hair regularly to cover up his blonde roots, and the entire time he would regard her with his hot, aqua colored eyes. Most of the time they were hostile, but sometimes they were just curious. Currently, his eyes sparkled with mischief, it was a playful Seifer she hadn't seen since her days as an instructor.

"Are you serious?" she asked.

"Oh yeah." He crossed his arms and stood in front of her, waiting.

"You promise not to laugh?"

"Nope."

"Seifer...you're not helping yourself by admitting that you'll probably tease me relentlessly," she replied, leaning back on her elbows. He plopped down onto the bed next to her, his weight making her roll to one side a little.

"Don't make me force it out of you," he teased. "I will...I know your weaknesses you know."

"My weaknesses?" she laughed. "Those would be?"

"I can annoy the hell out of you," he replied. "And I'm not going to stop bothering you until you tell me. So, it would be much easier for you just to tell me now and get it over with. It can't be _that _bad."

"I'm not telling you."

"Quistis! Damn it...come on!" he got up on his knees on the bed.

"Shh...it's late...you'll wake people up," she said, holding a finger up to her lips.

"You're worried I'm going to wake people up?" he sat back on his haunches, an evil glimmer in his eye. Before she realized what he was going to do, he started bouncing on the bed, making the springs creak and slamming it against the wall.

"Seifer...what are you doing?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Oh! Quistis! Yeah!" he cried out with a wide grin and got up onto his feet. He continued to make noise, jumping up and down on the bed with vicious ferocity.

"Seifer...stop it!" she hissed. "People are going to think we're-"

"Woo...baby...yeah!" he kept jumping around the bed.

"Seifer!" she felt a hot blush rising up her neck. "Stop!" He shook his head, and lifted her up to jump with him.

"Not until you tell me," he grinned.

"Okay! Fine...fine!" she jerked her hands away from his. "I'll tell you...just knock it off." Obligingly, he hopped off the bed and offered her a hand to help her down as well.

"Alright...let's have it," he demanded the moment her feet touched the floor. Quistis sighed, thinking that he was making it out to be a much bigger deal than it really was.

"They gave me lingerie," she replied.

"No kidding?" he laughed. "Where is it?"

"I'm not going to let you see it!" she spat, feeling flustered.

"Do I have to start the whole jumping on the bed thing over again?" he asked, a cocky grin sliding across his face.

"Hyne, you're irritating," she shook her head and walked to the closet to retrieve the tiny thing from her bag. Seifer came up right behind her as she pushed clothing aside to get it. He watched over her shoulder until she elbowed him in the ribs.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You're standing to close!" Quistis sneered. "There's such a thing as personal space, you know." He reluctantly took a step back, and Quistis turned her attention back to her bag. She found the teddy at the bottom, and hesitantly pulled it out. Seifer grabbed it away from her before she had the chance to even turn around.

"Holy shit!" he held it up in the air, examining it. "Those old chicks have killer taste in underwear!" Quistis was blushing with embarrassment at even having the sexy underwear in her possession.

He held the teddy out at arm's length and closed one eye.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just stand still," he commanded, and moved the black garment around a little until he apparently found a satisfactory spot.

"Stop," Quistis reached to take it from him, but he yanked it away.

"Damn...can't believe you've been holding out on me like this," he laughed and held it just out of her reach. "Have you really tried it on? You said that it fit."

"No! Of course I haven't tried it on!"

"You should!" he smiled. "Go put it on!"

"I'm not going to put it on!" she squealed.

"Oh, quit being such a prude," he shook his head. "It's not like I'm saying you have to come out and _show _me...just try it on."

"I don't want to try it on," she replied through her teeth, still trying to get it away from him.

"Come on," he insisted stubbornly. "What are you afraid of? Afraid that stuffy old Quistis Trepe might actually _like _looking sexy?"

"I'm not afraid of anything," she said. "I just don't want to put it on."

"Quistis, I'm serious," he announced. "Try it on."

"Why?"

"Why not?" he countered. "Just go in the bathroom...and put it on. If you hate it, take it off...burn it...flush it down the toilet...shit, I don't give a damn what you do with it. Just try it on."

"Fine...just give it to me!" she relented. He lowered his arm slowly, letting her grab it from him and then ushered her quickly toward the bathroom. Practically thrown inside the small room, she stood for a second and thought over what she was going to do. Curiously, she looked down at the piece of lingerie. It _was _somewhat tempting to try it on.

"Stop thinking about it and just do it," Seifer commanded from the other side of the door, as if he somehow knew what she was thinking.

"Ugh...Hyne..." she grumbled to herself and started pulling off clothes. She tossed them down haphazardly on the floor, not really paying attention to what went where. Finally, she was faced with the task of putting on the teddy. She held it up in the air for a moment, trying to figure out what went where. Shrugging her shoulders, she pulled it on as best as she could and gazed at her reflection in the mirror.

She was surprised at how she looked. The woman staring back at her was a whole different Quistis Trepe. Her hair fell wildly about her shoulders and the black lace hugged her body. She felt...alluring. A smile tingling at her lips, she spun around, getting a view of herself as a whole. It was slightly embarrassing, and she felt badly for liking the sexy, provocative way it showed off her body.

A laugh tore itself from her chest, and she quickly tried to stifle it.

"Told you!" Seifer gloated. "When do I get to see?"

"Never!" she pulled the underwear off and started quickly to redress herself. She could hear him laughing on the other side of the door, and felt suspiciously like she'd been tricked. When she was decent again, she opened the door to find him waiting on the other side.

"So?" he asked with a smug grin. "How was it?"

"Seifer...you're an awful human being," she replied, still feeling humiliated.

"Why? What'd I do?" he asked, holding up his hands innocently.

"You tricked me."

"I didn't trick you."

"You're laughing at me."

"Quistis..." he grabbed her arm. "You really need to let loose sometimes. You're not an instructor anymore. You can act like your not in your upper forties, you know. Have some fun every once in a while."

"Dressing up like a slut is fun?" she asked.

"I'd dress up like one if I could," he grinned. She jerked her hand away.

"You're gross."

"Yep...and damn proud of it too," he replied. "At least I'm not a prude."

"I'm not a prude."

"You are," he nodded emphatically. "You are the definition of prude. You're mad at me now because I got you do to something that went completely against your prudishness, and you liked it!"

"That's not why I'm mad at you," she replied, tossing the teddy down on the bed.

"Oh, so you're admitting that you liked it?" he pressed on. "Everyone likes to feel desirable, Quistis...even you."

"Right...because no one in their right mind would want _me _without proper provocation," she replied with a vehemence that surprised even her. "You know, Seifer, I don't really need to be reminded all the time of just how many things are wrong with me. I'm perfectly aware of the fact that I'm seriously fucked up, and you're just an ass for pointing it out!"

Seifer froze. Quistis couldn't recall the last time she'd used the word fuck. She had nothing against cuss words, she only respected their power more than the average person. She saved them for the proper occasion, and that made them exceedingly strong when she used them.

"Hold on," he held up his hands. "Where did that come from?"

She could feel angry tears stinging at the back of her eyes as she pointed accusingly at him.

"You're miserable, and you drag people down with you!" she ranted. "Well, I don't need you to make me miserable, Seifer! You make me do things to feed your own sick sense of humor and try to fool yourself that you're not in the nasty gutter that you live in! I don't need you making me feel - "

"Quistis! Stop!" he commanded. "I'm not trying to make you feel dumb...I'm just trying to get you to loosen up a bit."

"Shut up and just listen to me, Seifer!" she walked up to him, poking him in the chest. "You have been nothing but a pain in the ass since the start of this mission. You drag me down, telling me I'm not good enough to be a leader. I'm sick of you, sick of having to share in your guilt!"

"Quistis - " he tried to interrupt her again, not understanding where her sudden outburst was coming from.

"I just want to have something," she announced. "Something...anything...I need something to hold onto...to look forward to when I get up in the morning. SeeD is all I have, and I won't let you ruin that for me! I won't let you change me, I am who I am - prude or not - and you're just going to have to deal with that!"

She paused, taking a deep breath. Seifer waited to see if she would continue, and when she didn't, he let out a long sigh.

"Quistis...you're a bitch," he informed her. "You're a bitch, and I'm an ass. Big fucking deal...I really don't give a damn whether or not you sleep with every guy in Garden or tuck yourself up in your room. I just thought, maybe, there was another side to you. Well, you know what? I found it...and it's just as bitchy."

"I'm not a prude," she whined, angry at herself all over again when she heard her voice shake a little. "And...just because I like to be in control...it doesn't mean anything. You don't know anything about me."

"Fine, you're not a prude," he rolled his eyes. "That make you feel better?"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore..." she shook her head and turned away from him. She so rarely lost control of her emotions that she was still in shock over her outburst.

"Fine...see if I give a damn," he grumbled. "I'll just go back to my gutter."

"Good."

"Great."

"Fine."

She stalked over to the bed and sat down on it, looking down at the teddy and wondering why she really was angry. It didn't make a lot of sense, he'd been right about the lingerie. It was nice to feel desirable for once...to feel like a woman instead of a mercenary. But, instead of simply admitting defeat, she'd turned around and screamed at him.

_ Maybe I am a bitch..._

Her breathing was ragged, and she searched herself in an attempt to figure out what was wrong. Why had she reacted so violently? Was it just that Seifer had irritated her beyond her capacity to take? Or had he struck a weak spot that she hadn't know she had? Confused, she rubbed her temples and turned around to look at him.

"Seifer?"

"What?" He sounded angry. His back was facing her, and his muscles were visibly bunched.

"I'm sorry...I don't..." she hesitated. "I'm sorry."

"Great, good for you." She groaned inwardly with frustration.

"It...uh..." she cringed to herself. "It did feel nice to feel kind of sexy for once..." He turned around and looked at her with flaming green eyes.

"I wasn't trying to make fun of you," he announced.

"I know...I just..." she rested her head in her hand for a moment. "I don't know...I just got upset. I don't know why."

"You know, Quistis," he walked over to her, his eyes avoiding hers. "There are hundreds of guys at Garden who'd give their right arm to have one night alone with you."

"I don't want to hear about it," she replied.

"Quistis," he persisted. "You _are _desirable. With or without the lingerie, okay? You don't have to be so hard on yourself all the time."

"Seifer...I really don't want to talk about it," she insisted, turning her face away from him. The last thing she wanted to fall into his lies so he could turn them around on her. He picked up the teddy, waving it around as he replied.

"Well, damn it, you should!" He was getting angry again. "You never have a clue what's going on outside of yourself, do you?"

Quistis was about to reply, when the phone rang. They both turned and looked at it like it was going to jump up and bite them. They hadn't used the phone and, really, hadn't even been aware that it was hooked up. She stared at it until it rang for the third time before reaching over and picking it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey! Quistis? It's Selphie!" the voice on the other end chirped. "Boy, do I have news for you!"

She looked up to see Seifer storm out of the room, his shoulders hunched forward. 

"That's great, Selphie," she sighed. "What is it?"

"I think they're planning to invade next week."


	9. Confessions

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Square...you lucky bastards....

A/N: Okay, I've had this part written for a long time (since I posted chapter 7) but I've been putting off posting it because it doesn't feel quite right. I've read over it time and time again, but I can't find what exactly is bothering me about it. If you all feel the same, I'll rewrite it...maybe it's just me being paranoid. 

Chapter 9: Confessions

Despite herself, Quistis felt awful. Seifer had said some questionable things to her, but they'd always been surface scratches. She'd dug in deep during their argument, and she knew she'd hit a few raw nerves. Guilt pulled at her, he'd been in a good mood, had been the very rare happy and playful Seifer, and she'd tarnished his light mood with her own hostility.

Restlessly, she rolled onto her back in the darkness. Seifer was laying next to her only a few feet away. He'd come back to their room shortly after Quistis hung up the phone, wishing Selphie and her team luck. Quiet and tense, he didn't say a word to her and still hadn't.

Quistis was beginning to see another side to the hard, arrogant man beside her. There was more to him than the snide remarks, the rough build, and superb gunblade skills. She could see him now as the Seifer that smacked in the morning as he started to wake up, was fundamentally bothered by finding an insect in the bathroom, and used women's shampoo and conditioner when it was handy. There were so many facets to his personality that she hadn't even imagined existed, and she'd hurt him.

Quistis never dreamed she - or anyone else for that matter - had the capability to deeply hurt Seifer Almasy. She'd come to see him as being somewhat inhuman, he didn't feel like she did, couldn't even understand what it was like to feel sad or hurt. The hairline cracks in his outer persona had come into focus, and Quistis discovered that Seifer was indeed very human.

"Seifer?" she rolled over to face him.

He didn't answer, but twitched slightly at the sound of her voice.

"Seifer...we need to talk," she persisted.

"Go to sleep," he grunted as a reply.

"I can't."

"Then at least let me," he snapped. The darkness closed in around Quistis, and somehow it made her feel stronger. She sat up, tossing off the covers, and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Seifer...I'm _really _sorry," she announced. "Really...you just...you hit a nerve that I didn't even know I had and I kind of snapped..."

"It's fine, go to sleep."

"No...it's not fine," she shook her head, feeling very guilty.

He sat up beside her in the dark, letting out a long sigh.

"Quistis, give it a fucking break, okay?" he ground out. "I really don't give a damn that you feel guilty, and I don't want to hear your little lies just so you can sleep."

"Lies?" That caught her a little off guard. "What makes you think I'm going to lie to you?"

"Well...let's see..." she could make out his form as he shifted to face her. "You and I mutually hate one another...you can't stand me, I can't stand you...now, what could you possibly say to me that would make you feel better about the things you said earlier?"

"I wouldn't apologize if I thought I'd been completely justified in saying those things to you," she shook her head.

"Well, you were," he shrugged.

"No, I wasn't." She searched her mind for something to say, trying desperately to figure out what exactly she was aiming to accomplish. She only knew that she felt awful, and she wanted to make things better.

"You know, you really make me miserable sometimes," he suddenly announced. "You're so full of contradictions! You keep doing all these little things that make me..." he trailed off for a moment and then picked up again. "Then, you do something to wipe all of that away! Really, it's frustrating as hell. I don't know where I stand with you...one minute you tell me I'm trash, the next you want to apologize."

"I want to explain." She sat up on her haunches.

"Fine...explain away," he turned away from her. Quistis took a deep breath, not really sure what she was going to say or even sure why she wanted to say it to _Seifer_. He was at the top of her list of people not to confide in, and she had to wonder at her current level of sanity as she listened to the words that started to come out of her mouth.

"You know...I've always been the adult," she started. "I mean, even when I was little I was the responsible one. Then, when I was an instructor...I mean, I was the same age as all of my students, but I had to act so much older. I've never been allowed to be irresponsible, I don't even remember the last time I did something just for the hell of it."

"No kidding..." he muttered. Ignoring the comment, Quistis continued.

"And, you know, I don't think I've _ever _felt..." she hesitated, not sure she was ready to start covering that facet of her emotions.

"Sexy?" Seifer offered.

"Yeah...I've never felt that way," she nodded. "I mean, Squall rejected me how many times? I kept going after him, and he just kept ignoring me...pushing me away. Then, he turns around and opens up to Rinoa...and I just...I couldn't understand what he suddenly saw in her. So, I guess I've always kind of felt like I lack something as a woman...and, when you had me try on that lingerie...and I did..."

She stopped to swallow.

"It was nice...but...you laughed and I felt like I'd been tricked somehow," she sighed. "I took out my frustration on you, and I shouldn't have."

She was greeted with silence from Seifer.

"You really don't feel beautiful at all?" he finally asked skeptically.

"I don't know...not really," she shrugged.

"You honestly think that there's no man out there who will ever want you?" he continued.

"Well...I've always kind of dreamed that there would be _someone_," she replied.

"Like who? Squall?" he snorted. "You're wasting your time if you focus on Squall."

"No...not Squall," she said, knowing it wasn't completely truthful. She still held out hope that the handsome and enigmatic Squall would someday come around.

"Then who?" he asked. "Some sort of guy who'd come in, sweep you off your feet, and then everything would just magically fall into place?"

"Well...yeah," Quistis shrugged. Seifer started to laugh.

"Quistis...there's no such thing," he shook his head. "If your waiting for magic, you're wasting your time. Those fantasy perfect loves don't exist."

"Who do you suggest I wait for?" she asked. "One of my many admirers back at Garden? I want to feel loved, not just _wanted_."

"Sometimes you have to settle for wanted for a little while," he replied. "Love isn't something that just hits you between the eyes."

"What would you know about it?" she countered.

"Apparently about as much as you," he replied, the tension in his form finally easing.

"Fair enough," Quistis laughed. "I can't believe I told you all that."

"I can't believe you did either," he laughed. "I can really torment the shit out of you now!" He sat forward a little and Quistis frowned.

"Yeah...I really should have known better," she snorted, clenching her hands together in the dark. She'd been stupid to think that Seifer would understand her. He'd just use everything she'd said against her, and anger rose up within her at her own foolishness.

She picked up her pillow and thrashed it around a bit, preparing to lay back down and chastise herself a bit more before falling asleep.

"You know...you can be really stupid sometimes, Quistis," Seifer laughed, and reached toward her. She saw his form loom close to her, but was no less surprised when she felt his fingers on her jaw. Her mind raced, and her heart lurched up into her throat when he leaned in close to her, brushing his lips casually over her own. The contact lasted only a second, but was completely unnerving.

Seifer, however, acted more like he'd just reached over and patted her arm than kissed her.

"Go to sleep now," he yawned, tucking himself back under the covers and turning his back on her. "It's late." She sat for a moment in shock, her heart pounding in her chest. Had he really just done that? It was a kiss that more resembled one shared by siblings than anything else...a supportive, affectionate gesture.

_ Seifer? Affectionate? I must be dreaming..._

Deeply bothered, Quistis climbed back under the covers. She didn't like thinking that he was more than just a rude, caustic man who she'd gladly trade in for a good dog. Surely he'd been trying to unnerve her. It was some strange form of torture...he was teasing her.

Reaching up to touch her lips with one hand, she frowned. She'd felt guilty for tearing into him, saying things that were relatively unjustified. She'd explained herself in an attempt to rid herself of the heavy hanging guilt that accompanied such a transgression.

_ Why did I tell him all that? Oh, Hyne...I've lost my mind..._

***

Seifer pulled at his uniform, feeling very uncomfortable. He hadn't got a lot of sleep, and his body felt heavy. His training partner came at him, and Seifer deflected the blow easily. Learning to use the light, small swords the Galbadian military seemed to prefer had been a challenge. He was so used to the heavy Hyperion that the change in weapon was a struggle to become accustomed to. He'd picked up on the subtle differences fairly quickly though and was currently one of the army's most promising trainees.

"So," his partner lunged at him again, "how's the wife?"

"She's fine," Seifer replied, blocking him again.

"Hyne...if I had a woman like that waiting at home for me," he jumped back, avoiding one of Seifer's swings, "I wouldn't be here preparing to go off and get myself killed."

"What makes you think you're going to get killed?" Seifer asked.

"They wouldn't be pushing us through training so fast if they didn't have something planned," the other man shook his head.

"You think they might be going to war soon?" Seifer asked.

"Hell, I don't know."

Their swords let out a loud, metallic shriek as they clashed together. Both men had their helmets on, and neither could see the others' eyes. Seifer had taken to watching his opponents feet to predict the next move, and had become fairly good at it. The average Galbadian soldier wasn't much of a challenge in respect to skill. Most of them had less experience than Seifer had when he was thirteen. At twenty two, combat no longer required a lot of thought. Training against such an inferior opponent, however, did.

"Speak of the devil..." his partner suddenly stopped, dropping his weapon to his side.

"What?" Seifer asked, pausing as well.

"Your wife," he motioned with a gloved hand. "Damn...she looks good today. Shit, what I wouldn't give to be you...lucky bastard." Seifer turned to see Quistis picking her way toward him. The fighting going on didn't appear to faze her and she dodged a number of men who were locked in heated combat. A few of the men stopped to ogle her. They were largely without feminine company, and Quistis had become one of the most popular women on the base, though she didn't know it.

"Damn..." Seifer stabbed his sword into the ground and leaned on it a bit, groaning inwardly. He'd left that morning before Quistis got up, not wanting to face her until he got his own screwed up emotions in order. He didn't know what had gotten into the night before, why he'd so stubbornly insisted she put on the teddy or why he'd leaned over in the dark and kissed her. Actually, that wasn't entirely true...he knew why he'd wanted her to put on the lingerie. It was a form of self torture, knowing that beyond the bathroom door she was dressed in tight, black lace. The kiss, however, was a completely different thing.

Pulling off his helmet, he waved a hand to get her attention. Her eyes, which had been wandering around among the men, locked on him, and she walked toward him with stiff purpose.

"Seifer," she got up in front of him and seemed to loose some of her gusto, "I need to talk to you."

"I'm a little busy."

"I know...but it'll just take a second," she replied.

"Can it wait?" he asked.

"No...I really don't think it can," she shook her head.

"Hey, I'm free anytime you want to talk," Seifer's sparring partner suddenly spoke up, taking off his helmet as well. Quistis stopped and looked at him, her brilliant azure eyes looking him up and down.

"Who are you?" she asked.

"Your dream man," he replied, winking.

"Hey, watch it!" Seifer lifted his sword and gave the other man a good jab with it. "Mine, not yours!" He turned his attention back to Quistis then, who was blushing furiously. She was charming when she was embarrassed, and Seifer had the urge to smile down at her. Her confessions the night before had been just as charming, for once she was showing the side of herself that was soft...the side that he was starting to find so alluring.

Catching himself, he shook his head to rid himself of the unwanted kind thoughts toward his former instructor.

_ Don't go there...Hyne, don't get into that. She doesn't want you, you don't want her...she wants love, you just want a little fun._

"Fine...what is it?" he asked, taking her elbow in his free hand and leading her away from the other men. Already his mind was weaving rationalizations for the kiss he'd bestowed upon her. He had a sinking feeling that it was what she'd come to ask about, and he didn't want to be caught without an explanation.

"Have you heard anything about the invasion?" she whispered, leaning close to him. Seifer stopped dead in his tracks.

"You came all the way out here to ask me about that?" he asked. "Quistis...what the hell is wrong with you?"

"That is why we're here," she reminded him. "And nothing's wrong with me."

"Oh no, something is definitely wrong with you," he shook his head. For some reason, he was a little irritated that his little kiss, even if it had been one of the most casual he'd ever given a woman in his life, didn't seem to bother her.

"Seifer, we need to find out the truth, and soon!" she whispered. "We've got to start doing whatever it takes."

"What, do you want me to threaten it out of someone?" he demanded.

"Eventually, if it comes to that...yes," she shrugged.

"Is that it?" he raised an eyebrow. "Or did you have something else you wanted to tell me?"

"Well, you left before I got up this morning," she replied.

"Yeah, so?" He was prompting her to ask about the kiss, and he had no idea why. He didn't particularly like to be ignored, and that was a hell of a thing to ignore. As long as Seifer could remember, he'd craved attention. What form it came in didn't really matter to him, he only needed to be acknowledged. Quistis crossed her arms tightly across her chest and looked up at him.

"I'm not going to fall into your little trap if that's what your waiting for," she announced.

"My trap? What trap?"

"You know what I'm talking about," she hissed angrily.

"No, quite honestly, I don't," he crossed his own arms.

"Your little kiss...or whatever that was," she replied.

"That's my trap?" he asked.

"I'm not going to let you back me into a place where you can make fun of me," she announced, her expression becoming stony.

"Okay...I'm lost," he shook his head. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Oh yeah...like I don't know what's going on," she jabbed the air with a finger. "You say all this stuff about me being desirable, then you just happen to bend over and kiss me? And you think I won't figure it out?"

"Figure what out?" he demanded, completely lost and very frustrated. Quistis was definitely one of the more irritating women he'd ever met, she was so full of contradictions. One minute she'd do something that was incredibly sexy - like when she'd come full up against him when they were dancing - and the next she would do something incredibly annoying - like when she'd laughed at him for using her shampoo. What else did she expect him to use?

"I'm not as gullible as you seem to think I am," she narrowed her eyes to little slits.

"Gullible about what?" he asked, completely baffled.

"You know what!"

"Is there any way to win with you, Quistis?" he asked, gaping. "No matter what I do, it's just bitch-bitch-bitch. I have the nerve to tell you that your about to make a mistake, and I'm mean. I tell you that your sexy and I'm a liar. I kiss you, and I'm a bastard who's trying to trick you into Hyne knows what! I don't know what the hell's going on in that head of yours, but its really starting to piss me off."

Her eyes searched his for a moment.

"If you're not trying to trick me, then why'd you do it?" she asked, still as suspicious as ever.

"Shit...I don't know," he sighed. Why had he done it? He still didn't know for sure. There really was no more denying the fact that there were things he liked about Quistis, physically anyway. He liked the same things everyone else did...the rich, golden hair and voluptuous curves...he was only human. However, that didn't really explain his kiss. It hadn't been a thing of physical want, or she certainly wouldn't have doubts about his intentions. No, this kiss had been something else all together, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. She'd just been so vulnerable...and she'd apologized to him even though she didn't have to.

"Well..." she hesitated. "It's not like you...uh...is it?"

"No, it's not," he replied, knowing what she meant. The last thing he wanted was to fall into any kind of romantic shit. That was all a bunch of crap anyway, just a long, drawn out prelude to sex. Everyone knew it, but most people denied it.

"Oh...okay," she looked down at the ground. "I was thinking on going to talk to your senior officers."

"Why?" he was thankful for the change in subject. He didn't love her, didn't even feel mildly affectionate toward her, and didn't want to be backed into a corner just because part of him kind of liked the idea of her.

"I thought maybe they might be willing to divulge a little information," she shrugged.

"And how are you planning on getting them to do that?" he asked.

"Oh...you know," she smiled a little. "I'm a pregnant wife, I hear they can be pretty intimidating."

"Good luck."

"Thanks."


	10. Affirmation

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: .............. 

A/N: Wow...so you all know I switched to this fandom a little while ago, I used to write primarily Dark Angel stuff...and I just recently gained a whole new appreciation for you all. So, I'd like to take a moment to really say thank you to all of you!!

_"Would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this?"_ - Lifehouse

Chapter 10: Affirmation

Quistis walked down the long, residence hallway with no particular destination in mind. Having little to do most of the day was making her antsy. The confrontation she'd had with a few less than forthcoming army officers had been a notable pick up, and she was in a relatively good mood. The men's sheer unwillingness to comment on the rumors only fueled her fast forming conviction that the army was, indeed, planning something.

As she walked out into the evening sun, she became suddenly aware of a number of eyes on her. It was eerily reminiscent of Garden, only the looks she was presently receiving were much more loaded than any she'd ever gotten from an underclassman.

Feeling good...feeling strong...she made her way across the base. It was nice to feel as if her mission was coming to a successful resolution. Even though she didn't have solid confirmation of the rumors, she'd come to the decision that it was better to be prepared than caught by surprise. Knowing that Galbadia _probably _would attack would be good enough, and they would depart for Timber and Dollet soon.

Quistis clasped her hands in front of her and hummed lightly under her breath. Her mind trailed back to the kiss that Seifer had given her the night before. She'd been kissed, but she'd never been kissed like that. She'd somehow always expected him to be demanding and fiery, but the kiss he'd given her held none of that. It was more comparable to a hug, to a gentle smile. It still baffled her, she didn't know what it was or where it had come from. However, as she looked back upon it, the memory warmed her heart.

Having gone unnoticed for most of the day, her stomach rumbled in a desperate attempt to catch her attention. Quistis had skipped lunch, having been throwing a huge fit inside one of the base offices at the time she normally met Ann and Pita in front of the mess hall. She'd attempted going to eat only a few times on her own, and found the experience somewhat intimidating. Everyone would turn and look at her the moment she walked in, and the stares wouldn't leave until she departed. It was somewhat more bearable with company. Seifer, in reality, was her preferred dinner date, as his presence usually kept the other soldiers at bay.

It was nice to be held under the wing of his hostility from time to time. From that position, she could see how his mannerisms worked to his advantage, keeping others a safe distance away. Slowly, she was starting to understand why he acted the way he did.

"Mrs. Almasy?" a low voice made her pause, and she turned to see a young soldier walking up to her. A bright smile crossed his handsome face, and his tight, blonde curls glittered in the light of the sinking sun.

"Yes?"

"Oh...I was just seeing if it was really you," he shrugged. "You're quite famous here, you know." Quistis tilted her head.

"I was just starting to get that feeling," she admitted.

"Oh, well...I just saw your husband," he announced. "You _are _looking for him, aren't you?"

"Actually, I was just going for a walk," Quistis shrugged. "You can walk with me if you'd like." The young man - Quistis guessed he was maybe eighteen or nineteen - sent her a warm smile and nodded lightly.

"Beautiful and sweet?" he laughed. "That Seifer's a lucky man."

"I'm beginning to wonder about that actually," Quistis started walking again, the soldier falling into step beside her. The act was an easy one to fall into, she'd done it so many times already that day. Quistis, the concerned wife, she was getting good at wearing the mask of her new identity.

"Wonder about what?" he prompted her, almost as if on cue.

"Seifer's luck," she put on a delicate frown. "I've heard that Galbadia might be going to war soon."

"Yeah, I've heard that too," he nodded. "But...I'm sure they won't send him somewhere really dangerous. I mean, with a baby on the way and all."

"So, you think the rumors are true, then?" she brushed her hair back behind her ears, giving the young man the best puppy dog eyes she could muster.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "I suppose there's a little bit of truth in every rumor. Maybe it isn't all it's cracked up to be, but something's probably going on."

"Yeah...that's what I was thinking too," she nodded. Silence fell between them as they continued across the base, making their way through areas of tall, green grass. The sun was sinking further, and the sky had turned from blue, to yellow, to a deep crimson. The grass brushed against Quistis' bare calves, producing a tingling itch just beneath the skin.

"Quistis!" They both stopped, looking up to watch Seifer trot up to them. He looked back and forth from Quistis to the soldier for a moment, a hint of unease in his eyes. "I've been looking all over for you."

"Is something wrong?" Seifer took in a deep breath, and glanced at the younger soldier for a slightly tense moment.

"No, nothing's wrong," he shrugged. "I just didn't want to go to dinner without you."

Quistis' stomach, which had quieted down quite suspiciously, flared to life, rumbling in response to Seifer's words. The young soldier, she still didn't even know his name, laughed and patted Seifer on the arm.

"I'll see if I can find some way to get the groping crowd out of the mess hall before you get there," he announced, seeming to share in some sort of secret with Seifer.

"Alright...thanks," Seifer nodded, turning his attention back to Quistis as the other man walked away.

"The groping crowd?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"There's a group of guys on base who are known for not believing in hands off," Seifer shrugged, then after some thought motioned back to the blonde man who was quickly becoming a distant blot of color. "What were the two of you up to?"

"Just going for a walk," Quistis replied. "I asked him about the rumors, he thinks they're probably true. I also went and talked your senior officers, and none of them would tell me a thing."

"I know, I heard about it from five men already," he grunted, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "Aren't you ever happy with being in the background?"

"Nope," Quistis grinned and shrugged. The bent rays of light from the setting sun were catching in Seifer's dark hair, and she could tell that the rich, ebony hue was fake. Shaking her head, she reached up to touch a wayward strand that was hanging down over his forehead. "Your hair needs to be dyed again...maybe if you stopped eating so much it would grow a little slower."

"Your hair grows even after your dead, Quistis," he pointed out as he pulled her arm down. "I don't think that there's a hell of a lot I can do about it."

"Oh well," she tucked the hand that he'd rejected behind her back and smiled a little. Seifer watched her suspiciously as she started past him, her step light.

"What's with you today?" he demanded, following a short distance behind her.

"Nothing, why?" she rested a hand on the curve of her hip and craned her neck around to look at him.

"You just seem so..." he hesitated, "happy."

"I am happy," she replied.

"What reason could you possibly have to be happy?" he narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "We're stuck out in the middle of enemy territory, we still don't know for sure if they're about to attack the governments that have employed us, and we have to pretend that we're married. I really don't see anything to be happy about."

"May I remind you, it's _your _fault we have to pretend to be married," she replied. "Other than that, I've decided that we can't risk that they might attack. We're going to pull out, meet up in Timber."

"How are we going to pull out?" Seifer asked.

"What do you mean, how?" Quistis shook her head.

"I mean, how are you planning on getting out of here intact?" he clarified.

"You're going to be a father soon," she shrugged. "After the fuss that I made today, they won't blame you for pulling out of the army."

"Makes sense," he nodded. "And Selphie?"

"Selphie will have to come up with her own plan," Quistis replied. "I don't know the specifics of their situation." Seifer fell unusually quiet for a few moments as they continued to walk toward the mess hall, going slowly to give them time to talk privately and to allow the flaxen haired soldier to weed out the lechers.

"Quistis?"

"Hmm?"

"Never mind..." he shrugged, apparently deciding against whatever rude thing he was about to say. Grinning inwardly, Quistis bumped him with her shoulder. She had no idea what had spawned the desire to do such a thing, but decided to attribute it to her overly generous mood. He didn't say anything about it, but his mood seemed to pick up a little.

By the time they arrived at the mess hall, the place was almost abandoned. Outside, darkness was quickly swallowing up the last remnants of sunlight. They both ate with animalistic ferocity, even though the mass produced food was halfway cold. An easy silence fell over them, one they'd been working toward for days. They'd hurled every insult, every hurtful thought at one another, and their silence was born out of a newfound peace at having nothing else to say.

"Haven't you eaten today?" Seifer asked, looking up from his meal.

"Not since breakfast," Quistis replied. "Which consisted of a muffin and some coffee."

"Why didn't you eat more?"

"Woke up late," she shrugged. He laughed, leaning back in his chair across from her.

"So guilt really keeps you up at night then, huh?" he grinned.

"Among other things," she nodded. He laughed, tossing his head back in abandon. The strange, childish mischief that had infected Seifer the night before hit her full force as she watched him. As he continued to laugh at her expense, she sought out his feet under the table with her own. When she finally found him, she ran her toes up the length of his calf, drawing his attention. His gaze flew across the table to meet hers, and she sent him a mischievous grin moments before she brought her heel painfully down on top of his foot, aiming for the precarious place where his laces met.

"Ow!" he scooted back in his chair quickly, caught off guard.

"Don't laugh at me," she scolded him.

"Ah...damn...that hurt," he bent down to gently touch the spot where Quistis had so violently assaulted him. "That was really mean...I hope the guilt keeps you up all night."

"Somehow, I don't think I'll be feeling guilty for that," she replied, smiling.

"Little witch," he shook his head.

"You know," she shoved a forkful of food in her mouth, chewed, swallowed, and then continued, "there are only so many times you can say that before I start to believe it."

"You damn well should believe it," he sneered, albeit half-heartedly. They finished eating and left together to go back to their room. Quistis still had to dye Seifer's hair before either of them could go to bed. Her excuse for doing it for him was that he might miss a spot, and thus screw up the whole covert operation all together. However, she doubted Seifer lacked the skills to dye his own hair. She rather liked making him sit down and bend to her will.

They stepped out into the warm, humid night air. Above them, stars dotted an inky sky and a mere sliver of the moon rained down a precious little light. Quistis considered herself an intelligent woman, and she knew that moonlight and sunlight were really the same thing. Somehow, even knowing what she did, moonlight seemed achingly more romantic. Fancies and dreams spawned in moonlight were so often destroyed by the golden rays of the sun. The light of day brought more clarity and more reason than did the gentle glow of the moon.

Taking in a deep breath, she wrapped her arms around herself.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Why are you hugging yourself like your stomach just threatened to hop out, then?" Seifer persisted.

"I'm just..." she paused, wondering whether he would understand what she'd been thinking. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Actually, the moon," she shrugged.

"Monsters?"

"No...the moon itself."

"Oh."

He was quiet for a time before he spoke up again. In the dark she could only make out shadows and textures, and she couldn't tell what sort of expression he wore as he talked.

"I was just thinking about what it must be like to be _really_ married." His announcement shocked Quistis, but he went on undaunted. "I mean, to have a constant companion like that. Somebody who wants nothing out of you besides your company..."

"Am I supposed to reply to that?"

"Nah, was just a thought."

They walked on further, both of them pensive and silent. Had they been talking to one another, they might have missed the sound of hushed voices. They exchanged looks, and Seifer grabbed Quistis by the arm. Slowly, carefully, they crept through the shadows. Seifer was in front and as he let go of her hand, Quistis grabbed onto the back of his shirt. The voices became clearer as they slid further along the wall, each straining at the small sound of their footsteps.

"Seifer!" Quistis gasped and jumped up against him as the two people talking came into view.

"Shh," he bade her quietly.

"Seifer...that's one of the men that I talked to today," she whispered, her voice hardly audible.

"Shh," he repeated. He slipped with her into a doorway, hiding them in the deeper shadows there. Pressed tightly against the wall, they fell silent and eves dropped on the two men's conversation.

"The rumors are getting pretty bad," the taller of the two men announced. "If we keep saying we can't say anything on the subject, everyone's going to assume they're true."

"We can't confirm," the other man shook his head. "And at this point it would do us no good to deny. The attack is scheduled for Monday, this base won't be involved right off. If there are some rumors flying around among the men here, we can live with that."

"It's not just the men, Sir."

"Oh?"

"A woman came to see me today, her husband's a training soldier here," he explained. "She was pretty persistent, demanded I tell her and went through quite a number of theatrics to get it out of me."

"Did you say anything?"

"No...of course not." He paused. "She threw my paper weight, the one of the woman. It broke."

"She threw your paper weight?"

Seifer nudged Quistis in the darkness, and she merely shrugged in response. Leaning over him so she could see too she rested her chin on his shoulder.

"Yeah, picked it up and heaved it right to the floor."

"It doesn't matter," the other man shook his head. "She doesn't make any difference, she's just heard the rumors and is worried for her husband, no big surprise there really. Just don't let the men rally behind her. In less than a week, they'll know the truth anyway. Hold out until then."

"Alright."

Seifer and Quistis both let out a long breath that they hadn't been aware of holding as the two men walked off in different directions from one another. She had her hand fisted tightly around the material of Seifer's shirt, and her heart was thudding excitedly against her ribs.

"That was it," she whispered. "Confirmation."

"Yeah." He shifted a little, and Quistis realized for the first time how close they were standing to one another. Standing still for a moment, she noticed the heat coming from his body and took in the scent of her own shampoo that was radiating from his head. For a long, frightening moment, she felt herself leaning in. Seifer turned and, met with his shoulder, she flushed from head to toe. Thankful for the darkness, she released the death grip she had on his shirt and took a step back from the short wall they were both hugging.

"We'd better call Selphie..." she swallowed. Seifer followed her out into the now heavy night.

Quistis' butterfly heart slowed, bogged down by the hefty realization that, in the dark shadows, she'd experienced not one, but two life altering affirmations.


	11. Dizzy

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: Uh...yeah...I mean, no....whatever

A/N: I kind of rushed to get this chapter done because I'm going to be out of town for the rest of the week (it has to do with my job...you wouldn't even believe me if I told you what I'll be busy doing). Anyway, I didn't want to leave you all off without an update until I get back. Normally, I sit down and write a chapter in maybe two hours...but I was kind of frantic to get this one done, hope it doesn't reflect that...

Meaningless announcement: AH!! My parrot is trying to eat this little fly that's hanging out in her cage! She keeps biting at it....it's soooo hilarious!!

Chapter 11: Dizzy

Quistis hung up the phone and collapsed back onto the bed beside Seifer. His right arm was bent, covering his eyes. Lightly heaving in and out, his breathing was even, and she watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest with mild interest.

"So?" he asked, not even bothering to remove his arm and look at her.

"She's got a plan," Quistis replied.

"A plan? _Selphie's _plan? Did you ask her what it was?" he snorted, this time dropping his arm so he could look at her. "Knowing her, she's planning on blowing the place to smithereens and escaping through a laundry shoot at the last minute, or some half-assed thing like that."

"Actually, it's Paxx's plan," she retorted, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Oh, Paxx...well that's all the better, isn't it?" he waved a hand through the air.

"Well, what'd you want me to do?" she shook her head. "I can't just tell them what to do."

"Sure you can," Seifer grinned. "You tell me what to do all the time and it doesn't seem to bother you."

"That's not what I meant." Quistis couldn't help but crack a smile. "I don't know all the details of their situation...only _they _can come up with the best solution."

"But you're their leader," he propped himself up in a mirror image of Quistis' stance. "How do you think it effects them when their leader tells them that they're on their own?"

"I thought maybe we were past this," Quistis frowned.

"Past what?"

"You're telling me that I'm inferior and bad at my job," she replied.

"I never said that you were inferior...or that you were bad at your job," he sat up, turning his face away from her. "We gonna dye my hair tonight or what?"

"Yes you did." Quistis wasn't about to let him change the subject. She felt up for a good fight, even if it was just a verbal spat with Seifer.

"No, I didn't." He levered himself off the bed. "I said you were a shitty leader."

"Oh, well, geeze...forgive me for taking _that _the wrong way," she rolled her eyes.

"You know, sarcasm isn't very attractive on you, Quistis," he announced, shaking his head.

"Same to you," she replied.

"Sarcasm's all I got," he shrugged and started toward the bathroom. "I'm just going to do it myself if you're not going to help me."

"Sarcasm isn't exactly something to fall back on," Quistis frowned, but obediently followed him into the tiny, beige room. She walked in to see him put down the toilet lid and calmly seat himself.

Bending down, she retrieved a box of hair dye from under the sink. They had quite a stock of black hair dye, and on some of her more boring days Quistis had actually considered what she might look like with a new color scheme. That thought, naturally, lasted all of twenty seconds. It would take her a lot longer to rid herself of the dark hue than Seifer.

"You know," Seifer looked up at her as she leaned against the counter and tore the box open, "I'm perfectly capable of doing this myself."

"We've had this conversation before," Quistis replied, shaking her head and then brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"I know, but I still haven't gotten a strait answer out of you," he pressed.

"Don't start being an ass now, Seifer," she warned. "We've had a good day, don't ruin it." He seemed to consider this for a few moments as she pulled on the clear plastic gloves and leaned toward him.

"A long day," he finally muttered. "One hellish, long fucking day."

"You say that everyday."

"Well, it's true everyday."

"I'm sure that even you have a good day from time to time," Quistis replied as she went to work on his hair. Her fingers worked through his thick hair, down to his scalp with the smelly goo. It was an odd feeling, even with the gloves on, to be digging her hands into Seifer's hair. Quistis had always envisioned herself burying her fingers in a future lover's hair. Somehow, it seemed intimate, the kind of thing you only did to someone you knew really well, and wanted to get to know better. Doing it to Seifer, and on so frequent of a basis, was making her start to reconsider.

"From time to time," Seifer conceded.

_ Odd...not like him to give in quite so easily._

Shrugging, she shoved his head down so his chin touched his chest. Used to the rough handling he generally received in Quistis' make-shift salon, he merely grumbled lightly in response.

"Like what?" Quistis finally couldn't contain her curiosity.

"What do you mean?" Seifer said into his chest.

"Good days," she clarified. "What constitutes a good day?"

"Hell, I don't know," he shook his head, causing Quistis to accidentally pull his hair. "Ow...shit!"

"Don't move your head if you don't want to get hurt," she laughed. "Really though...what separates the good days from the bad for you?"

He paused, taking several deep breaths, and Quistis wished she could read his mind. Seifer, she was beginning to discover, was incredibly complex. He was filled with contradictions, ones that she begrudgingly had to admit fascinated her. Rinoa had once commented on his self-confidence, saying that he had the ability to make a person feel like they could take on the world. Quistis had never gotten that impression, she'd always found his confidence somewhat irritating. She'd never had that kind of trust in herself, and she resented seeing how Seifer somehow held it so strongly.

The biting, broken sarcasm he'd come to exhibit was different. There were times when she could almost see a wave of pain hiding behind the anger in his eyes. Other times, her own anger blinded her to anything that might have been happening within him. She wondered just how much her impatience had caused her to miss.

"Why?" he finally asked. "Why do you care?"

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"I don't recommend trying to figure out what makes me tick," he laughed. "You'll only be disappointed by what you find."

"I don't know about that either," she reiterated her previous response. He didn't reply to that, but let loose a low chuckle instead. Smiling a little to herself, Quistis walked around to the other side of him, being careful not to touch him in the close quarters the bathroom created. The back of her calves pressed up against the side of the tub and she had to curve her upper body to keep from brushing against Seifer's arms.

Having come to the realization that she was more than just idly curious about Seifer, on some level she was actually attracted to him, the idea of making contact with him was making her head spin.

"Guilt." She almost missed the uttered word.

"What? Guilt?" She tilted her head to one side, enough so that she could see Seifer grimace.

"A good day," he shrugged, "is a day without guilt."

"You feel guilty? Well...of course you would..." The idea had crossed her mind, but he'd never really admitted to it. His arrogance implied that he felt little to no remorse, and the thought that it really bothered him had never really occurred to her. From time to time, she'd considered the possibility that he was rude to accommodate for his guilt, she'd even gone as far as to accuse him of just such a thing when they'd argued, but it didn't really hit her until that moment.

"Yeah, of course I would," he sneered. "I only tried to kill everyone, destroy the world. But, what the hell, I'm a SeeD now, so everything's just peachy!"

"I can't really defend what you did, Seifer," Quistis shook her head lightly. "But that _is _all in the past now."

"You're not exactly the one to be preaching to me about forgetting the past, Quistis," he snorted. "You haven't forgiven me, I don't expect you to."

"Everything gets easier with time," she shrugged. "That was four years ago, a lot has happened since then."

"Yeah, a whole lot." Quistis came around to the front of him.

"Do you know that Rinoa was in love with you?" she asked. "She obviously saw something within you...I think it would be worth your time to find whatever that was."

He looked up at her, his eyes hot and angry.

"I'm fucking sick as hell of everyone telling me what I should do!" he barked. "You more than anyone! So Rinoa loved me...great, wonderful...nice to let me know four fucking years later! I don't give a damn about Rinoa or what she saw in me. You and me both know she'd go for anything on two legs with a dick. She chose Squall after all."

"Seifer..." Quistis bent down to get the hair to the front of his head. "I'm only trying to help."

"I don't want your help."

"I don't care." She sent him a little, half-hearted smile. "If your wife - the woman who's going to have your baby - doesn't help, then who will?"

"Enough with the little game," he looked down. "I don't know why you even give a damn."

"Well, I've got to put up with you, and you're much more pleasant when you're content," she said as an explanation. His eyes came back up then. That, she knew, he could understand. Someone else being concerned was beyond him, but selfishness was a concept he was close friends with.

"Knew there was a reason for all the concern," he grunted.

"Ever think maybe I just cared?" she asked, then immediately clamped her mouth shut after hearing the words leave her mouth.

_ Quistis...Hyne, what the hell are you doing? Why can't I just keep my nose out of things, it's his problem....what do I care? I don't! Dammit...I don't care!_

"No, honestly, that thought never crossed my mind," he replied.

_ Oh shit! I do care! Why? Damn, Seifer...why you? Anyone else, any other person on the face of the planet...but you?_

"Well..." she tried desperately to sort out the thoughts running through her mind. As they became more frenzied and tied together, she started to feel a little dizzy. Her vision went blurry, and she found herself struggling to keep her eyes focused. Her gloved fingers came to a short stop in Seifer's hair, and she fought the constraints of language to reply.

Seifer's eyes narrowed a little, and he reached up to grab her arm. The contact of his fingers on her skin brought Quistis back into the world of the lucid, and she snapped her head up quickly.

"One hour."

***

Seifer made a round window in the fog that had descended to cover the bathroom mirror with a fist and looked carefully at his reflection. He felt like shit, and his face showed it. He still was confused about what had happened between himself and Quistis an hour earlier. Was she implying that she cared about him? Or was she merely implying that he was too hard on himself for assuming that no one would care? Confusion swamped him.

She had seemed unusually sunny most of the day. A part of him liked to think it was the kiss, another knew it was the scent of a promotion.

Pulling on a shirt and a pair of boxers, he quickly dried off his newly blackened hair and threw open the door. Quistis was already asleep, curled up under the covers with the moonlight shining down on her from their window.

_ Their _window - that was a funny feeling. Seifer never thought of anything in a plural sense, he'd never been into sharing. Flicking off the bathroom light, he made his way through the darkness toward the bed. The moonlight that was doing such a wonderful job illuminating Quistis did a poor job of betraying the presence of several objects on the floor. He stubbed his toe on one of them, and he cussed viciously between his teeth.

"Seifer..." Quistis rolled onto her back and her eyes cracked open lazily. "You okay?"

"Fine...just great," he grumbled, and climbed into the bed, not even bothering to continue walking over to his side.

"What're you doing?"

"It's like a mine field in here!" he replied. "I'm not walking through it in the dark anymore."

She laughed as he climbed over her, the action making her jiggle appealingly and producing a charming smile on her lips. He flopped down on his side, wriggling his way under the covers.

"You're beautiful when you smile," he announced without thinking about it. For a few long moments of silence, he wondered if he'd really said it. A part of him doubted that the word beautiful would ever be formed by his tongue, and another had thought it so many times that he hardly flinched.

"Thank you," she finally replied, her voice quiet. He waited for her to say something more, then turned to look at her.

"What?"

"Nothing?"

"That's all you're going to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

Sighing, he rolled onto his back. Really, he didn't know what he wanted her to say. He only knew that it was a lot more than a simple two word answer. Reaching up to cover his eyes, he groaned.

_ What the hell are you thinking? I made her life hell, even tried to kill her, and now I think everything's just going to magically be alright?_

"Seifer?"

"What?"

"I forgive you."

Seifer was taken aback, having been caught completely off guard by her announcement. In the dark, he bit at his bottom lip and tried to hold back the tidal wave of emotions that those words let loose. Pinching his eyes closed, he took a few deep breaths.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't say that." He rolled so his back was facing her. Anything else he could have dealt with. She could have thrown herself at him, tearing off her clothes left and right, and he would have been able to come to terms with it easier than he could her forgiveness.

"No more bad days because of me, Seifer," she replied, scooting close to him. "I forgive you."

He cringed and buried his face in the covers. He'd never asked for forgiveness, he didn't want it. Even after four long years, he still noticed the looks people gave him, still felt the need to hide his head. He was sick of it, but he knew that was the way it would be up until the day he died.

"Quistis," he started, ready to rebuff her.

"Hmm?" She reached over with a yawn and rested her hand on his shoulder. The gesture, simple as it was, made him shudder. Biting back the anger rising up in him, he reached up and brushed his fingers across hers.

"Thank you."

He heard Quistis sigh, and she squeezed his shoulder before removing her hand and cuddling the blankets. She always did that right before she fell asleep, and Seifer recognized the stifled sound she made as another yawn. When he finally rolled over to face her, her head was tucked on the edge of his pillow, her blonde hair cascading back across her own. She looked remarkably peaceful.

"Quistis." He bumped her with his arm under the blankets.

"Hmm...what?" Her eyes came open only a little - tiny, weary slits of hot azure.

Not at all certain of what he was doing, or why he was doing it, Seifer leaned toward her, pressing his mouth to hers. Quistis didn't respond at first, she simply at and allowed Seifer to kiss her. Eventually, her lips joined in the dance as she kissed him back.

Seifer's heart had never soared like it did in that moment. He felt a warm rush of joy spread through him, and his hand shook as he brought it up to land upon her jaw.

Her own hand burrowed into his hair, and she released a long sigh. Seifer worked his mouth over hers for a few more moments before deciding to stop. He only wanted to thank her, not start something he'd never be able to stop. Pulling away, he felt her lips clinging to his, and hovered near her for a few unnecessary moments.

"That was lovely," she announced sleepily. She hugged him awkwardly, pulling herself to him with one arm and then tucking herself toward him. Her arm loosened, but she didn't really move away as her eyes fluttered closed, and she started to fall back asleep.

Seifer felt dizzy and thought for a few long moments that he actually was going to pass out. First forgiveness, and then a kiss? He didn't know if he could handle what was happening.

_One more day...just hold out one more day and you'll be back in Timber. Then, it's back to Garden and you can forget all about Quistis Trepe. Don't fall for her, Seifer...oh, Hyne, don't fall in love._


	12. Flight

Rating

Rating: R

Disclaimer: You know what...I've disclaimed 11 times now, I think that it's within the bounds of legality for me to stop at this point. 

A/N: I know some of you are pretty antsy for updates. I do have a good excuse!! I was gone for an entire week in Idaho working at a free Humane Society sponsored spay/neuter clinic on a reservation. So, instead of sitting around writing fics for you guys, I was wondering across the country side spotlighting feral cats and getting my finger taped up. Anyway...I'll post the next chapter soon.

Chapter 12: Flight

Quistis awoke to a bright, sunny day and an empty bed. She blinked a few times before casting her gaze around the room. Seifer was sitting on the floor, packing his bag. As Quistis watched him, she thought back to the kiss he'd given her. She'd dreamt about it most of the night, and it was getting hard to distinguish fantasy from reality. Memories of her dreams were beginning to mingle with her memories of the actual event. Sleepily, she observed him until his aqua eyes rose up to meet hers.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you too," she smiled. Seifer adverted his gaze from her, acting as if he was very involved with the process of packing his bag. They had a big day ahead of them, and Quistis guessed that Seifer was feeling a bit of the stress that accompanied their mission. Or maybe, she reflected with an odd amount of pleasure, he was still unnerved from the somewhat less chaste kiss they'd shared.

She'd been only half awake at the time, but even through a haze of sleep it had made her heart pound and her body tremble. It wasn't at all the kind of reaction she'd ever expected to have at Seifer's touch, especially one that, really, was so simple. There was nothing behind it other than gratitude. Despite herself, even that endeared him a tiny bit more to her. There was a soft center to Seifer's hard exterior.

Shaking her head, Quistis threw off the covers. The spot next to her where Seifer had been laying was still warm, and she paused for a second to visualize his sleeping form. Shivers raced through her, and they immediately brought her back down to the ground.

_ What the hell? This is Seifer! It's impossible to feel anything but irritated by him...pull yourself together, Quistis!_

Confused at her newfound emotions for Seifer, she gave herself a firm mental shake and got onto her feet. The floor was chilled from the cool, morning air and made goose bumps rise on her skin. Seifer, from his position on the floor, looked over at her.

"Something wrong?" he asked, tension obvious in his strained voice.

"No, why?"

He shrugged and turned back to his bag. He was reorganizing it, putting the dirty clothes on the bottom and the clean ones on top, stacking his socks. Another thing Quistis had never visualized Seifer as being was organized. She supposed it was some form of control, Seifer thirsted for control of his surroundings like most men sought power and authority. Distantly, she realized that her own bag was a mess of tangled garments. Her underwear were rolled up in a shirt, her socks stuffed into a corner.

"So, what's the plan?" he asked, zipping his newly organized bag closed with an essence of finality. Quistis was mildly disappointed that he didn't intend to discuss their kiss, and at the same time she was relieved. She wasn't sure she was ready to explore the idea that Seifer could be romantic, could be the kind of lover she'd always wanted. He had the physical prowess of the knights in her dreams, the only thing that he really lacked was magic. He didn't make her head swim, didn't make her want to throw herself into his arms and never leave them.

She had to shake her head again to derail her thoughts from the path they were taking. She didn't want to go there, didn't want to think of Seifer that way, _ever_.

"Huh?" she finally knew she had to reply, but had forgotten the question.

"The plan," he repeated, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. "I'm sure, as the fearless leader, you have some sort of plan."

"Oh, right...I do," she announced, knotting one of her hands in the loose end of her oversized t-shirt. "We'll go and talk to the same man I talked to yesterday, say that with the baby on the way, we can't risk you being put in any sort of dangerous situation. Then, we'll board a train out of here."

"Strait to Timber? Don't you think that'll make them a little suspicious?"

"To Deling City," she replied. "Right back where we came from."

He chewed this over for a moment, then nodded slowly. Quistis glared down at him.

"What was that all about? I don't need your approval...you'll do what I tell you to," she barked, angry that he seemed to be reverting back to the more grating form of himself that had been with her in Deling City.

"I was just curious," he shrugged. "Not trying to criticize you."

"Yeah...well...okay," she pushed a stay lock of hair out of her eyes. "I'm going to shower, and we'll go."

"Fine." He rose up off the floor, his gaze suddenly half a foot above Quistis' own. His shoulders squared suddenly back, and the breadth of his chest filled her vision. His smoldering gaze danced erratically around their small room, avoiding any contact with her own azure eyes. He was already dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a tight, black t-shirt that his ample muscle strained the fibers of. The aqua color of his eyes, which had always seemed sandy and gold flecked when his hair had been blonde, were clear and deep when accented by black. The resemblance to Squall was minimal, but Quistis couldn't help making the comparison.

Turning, she pushed her hair securely behind her ears and started toward the bathroom.

"You're not going to say anything?" Seifer's voice stopped her.

"What do you mean?" she turned her head so she could see him. Restlessly, he forked a hand through his hair.

"I kissed you," he muttered, not looking at her. "Aren't you going to yell at me for it or something?"

Quistis opened her mouth to reply, only to realize that she didn't know what to say. There were warring feelings within her on the subject of Seifer. Try as she might, she couldn't rid herself of the stigmas her mind had used to thread its image of him. He was rude, arrogant, and a traitor. She, along with many people at Garden, still considered him the enemy. It wasn't fair, but she couldn't deny what she felt.

Another side of her was beginning to see through to the man underneath the cutting remarks. He was in pain, torn apart from the inside out, but through sheer strength allowed no one to see or even suspect his wounds. In all the time she'd spent with him, she'd only glimpsed it briefly the night before when she'd claimed to have forgiven him. In reality, her forgiveness was relative. Consciously she wouldn't hold his past against him any longer, but there remained the deeply ingrained distrust which, having become habitual, would be a struggle to rid herself of.

"I suppose it was as much my fault as yours," she finally announced.

He released a strained laugh, snorting a little.

"What?" Quistis felt self-conscious when he laughed like that and looked down at her feet.

"You going to be telling that to Squall?" he asked, leaning one shoulder against the wall and hooking his thumbs in his belt loops. "Gonna tell all the Trepies that perfect, cold blooded Quistis Trepe willingly kissed and cuddled up to the Sorceress' Knight?"

"What does Squall or the Trepies have to do with any of this?" Quistis asked, a little perturbed.

"Oh, I think they have everything to do with this!" he replied, his eyes fiery.

"Why?" she had fully turned toward him now, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. The stance was closed off, reserved, and clearly conveyed to Seifer that she wasn't going to be played with.

He flushed a little, at least having the decency to look embarrassed at his outburst. Shrugging, he waved a hand dismissively and turned his back on her.

"Never mind."

Confused, Quistis grabbed her crumpled bag and slammed the bathroom door behind her. She didn't understand men at all, and she wished they would quit sending her such confusing signals. There were the Trepies - she hadn't realized they were still around after she became nothing more than a simple SeeD - who were childishly infatuated with her. There was Squall who hardly realized that she existed. Irvine would flirt charmingly with her from time to time, but for him it was more of a hobby than a means toward romance. Now, she had Seifer to add to her list of men in her life who baffled her. He'd kissed her, acted possessive and jealous, then turned around as if she didn't matter.

Heaving a long sigh, she started to disrobe. She was finding it harder and harder to remember that her mission was to protect Dollet and Timber from Galbadian attack, not to figure out the twisted, inner workings of Seifer Almasy.

***

Seifer cradled his head in his hand with a long, feathery sigh. Things didn't seem to be going well. After Quistis got out of the shower, they finished packing and quickly departed to talk to arrange Seifer's departure with the Galbadian Army. Things were seeming to go well at first as they approached the large, impressive looking man and requested, very politely, that Seifer be allowed out of his contract. He had told them he understood their situation, but couldn't possibly just allow Seifer to leave.

He groaned and collapsed onto his back, covering his eyes with one arm. They could have left it at that and snuck out when night fell, but Quistis had to put her two sense in.

_ Why does she always have to be so stubborn? It's her way, or no way. Hyne, the minute I saw her cross her arms I wanted to die._

It was obvious that the man, who'd had a previous discussion with Quistis, was intimidated by her. She could sense it as well as he could, and she played off of it. Quistis had always been good at that, finding the one weak spot in her enemy and exploiting it to the fullest. He'd always wondered if it was that talent in her, that ruthlessness she could sometimes display, that had made her into a SeeD so early on in her life. Perhaps it was her stead fast determination, her stiff, strait exterior - whatever it was, he had lacked it for years.

The one thing that he knew was that her leadership skills certainly weren't what had given her a leg up.

She'd pressed the man earnestly, going as far as to threaten him if he didn't let Seifer out of his contract. The only results of her empty threats and bravado were to reinforce the man's already poignant dislike for her. So, instead of them escaping into the night, Seifer was sitting in detention, ready to go to jail in the morning. He'd be accused of treason, the result of his "coercing" an officer to let him out of his contract with the Galbadian government.

Anger rose up in him. If she'd listened to him, they would both be fine. But, she'd had to go and do things her own way, and he would be the one to pay the price for it. Quistis' punishment was that she had to leave the base in the morning. After all, she wasn't the one who'd been legally bound to serve the government. Once again, like so many times before, Seifer found himself on the raw end of the deal. He wondered if Quistis would just go on without him, meet up with Selphie, Paxx, and Krik in Timber.

That was, of course, assuming that they would be more successful in their escape plans than Quistis had been. But, maybe all out success had never really been her plan. His stomach turned as he thought of her plotting a seemingly innocent way to get him out of her hair. She'd been unusually pleasant and nice the past few days. Like the idiot he was, Seifer had assumed she was finally beginning to like him.

Why he even gave a damn whether she liked him was completely beyond his restricted capacity to understand. Seifer didn't shut people out like Squall had, but that didn't mean that they didn't have a lot in common when it came to social dealings either. Seifer liked to be in control, and he made no secret of the contempt he felt toward being pushed around by anyone. Yet, he was human and every once in a while someone did breach his defenses. There had been Rinoa, who had blindly accepted and put her faith in him.

Guilt rained down on him as he thought of her. He should have been honest from the start, her feelings were not mutual. However, the idea of someone pining after him - _him_, Seifer Almasy - was too much of a temptation to throw away. He basked in the glory of her affection. Of course, he'd had no idea that her feelings had been as strong as Quistis reported them to be. Yet, he couldn't fight the feeling that Rinoa fell in love frequently. She'd certainly moved on from him to Squall quickly enough.

Then, there was Quistis. His relationship with her had always been strange. She was his teacher, his sister, his enemy...his desire. It wasn't worth his time to try and convince himself that Quistis didn't stir his blood. She was a fine piece of woman, anyone with eyes could see that. Rinoa was as beautiful and fine as the moon, but Quistis was a bright, shining sun. Her hair was vibrant compared to Rinoa's sleek, ebony hair. Quistis was tall, and voluptuously filled out. Her hips had a definite flare to them, and her figure would startle any man. Rinoa was girlish yet in her physique. Narrow bodied and sometimes wildly immature, she remained in Seifer's mind as a childish presence.

He stood up and pressed his hot hands to the cool wall, regretting his kind thoughts toward Quistis Trepe. She was unimaginably beautiful and sensual, but that didn't change the fact that she'd hung him out to dry. It didn't change who he was, couldn't make her want him. She wanted a fairy tale romance, someone who would bring her flowers and chocolates, someone who would shield her from all that was bad in the world and make her burn with just one touch. Seifer could never be that man, even if he wanted to be.

"Fuck," he cussed, then let a few more swear words slide liberally past his lips. He wasn't particularly known for being reserved when it came to language, but this was one situation in which he felt the words were truly warranted.

He was moving to sit down, when he heard a noise from the other side of the door. A sharp, quick sound that was followed by a lower, muffled sound. Confused, he tilted his head and stared at the door as if he looked hard enough he would be able to see through it.

Seifer didn't have much time to sit and stare before the object he was staring at swung open and a lithe form crept into the dark with him. Seifer's instincts told him to protect himself, and he did just that by grabbing for the shadow. The thought that he had no weapon never crossed his mind, only the immediate need to restrain and learn the identity of his new companion floated in his mind.

As he pounced on and wrapped his arms around the person, he became immediately aware that whoever it was wasn't a man. She struggled in his grip, tossing her hair in his face. The scent of that silken heap of hair was what finally brought him back to his senses - lilac.

"Quistis?" He removed his hand from her mouth, thinking he did so just in time as he felt her jaw ease closed, the little imp had been about to bite him.

"What the hell?" she demanded. "Is this how you treat everyone who saves you?"

"Sorry..." he mumbled. "I didn't think it was you." A part of him soared as she reached for his hand in the dark.

"I killed the lights," she announced. "Everyone's distracted trying to figure out what's wrong. It should take them a while to find all the wires I cut...but, just in case we should get going." It took him a moment to realize why she was gripping his hand, but as he felt the hilt of Hyperion come to rest against his palm he understood.

"Thanks," he said, not sure what else to say.

"Thought you might need it," she laughed. "I've already got all of our stuff packed into one of the army vehicles...if we can get to it we'll drive until we run out of fuel and then abandon it."

"Alright...let's go." She reached for his hand again, and with their fingers linked together they crept out of Seifer's solitary confinement cell into the hallway.

"Careful, step over this guy," she whispered. Seifer's toe came into contact with the inert form of a solider, and he stepped over him with a light smile. Quistis was certainly a force to be reckoned with.

She led him down the darkened hallway, and the entire time his heart thundered with excitement. He liked the thrill of impending battle almost as much as the feel of Quistis' warm hand in his. The realization that he'd come to like her as much as he had was a bit sobering, and he tried his best to concentrate on the task at hand. They'd have their collective asses in a sling if they got caught.

Both of them froze and plastered themselves to the wall as they heard voices. Quistis' shoulder tucked close to his arm, and he could tell she had changed clothes. Her bare skin touched his right where the fabric of his short sleeved shirt ended. Through a haze, Seifer heard the voices slowly depart and fade into the distance. They both let out a long sigh of relief.

"We're almost outside," Quistis whispered. "The car is parked just outside the base...we'll have to run past the residential halls to get there."

"Alright...I'll follow you," he whispered back.

Quistis peeled herself off the wall and set out at a controlled jog for the door. Seifer was on her heels, nearly pressed up against her back as she swung the door open and stepped out into the humid night.

The warm, damp air wrapped around Seifer like a cocoon, and he almost coughed to keep from choking on it. He could smell ocean salt in the air, and it reminded him of Balamb. He'd never really felt at home in Balamb, but he'd never really felt at home anywhere. The sad truth was, Seifer wasn't even sure he really knew what having a home felt like.

They ducked quickly into some shadows as a group of men jogged by, their faces were grimly set and one of them, the fair haired man Quistis had walked with, looked down right pissed off. Seifer still remembered the unreasonable anger that had filled him when he saw her out in the field with the young man. He had everything that she was looking for - charm, good looks, and a pleasant disposition. Granted, he was a little young for her, but age was something love tended to be blind to.

Shaking his head to rid himself of the disturbing thoughts running through his mind, Seifer followed Quistis back out of the shadows. She was sprinting now, and she was surprisingly fast. He would have never guessed that a woman could move so quickly in boots, but somehow Quistis managed to out pace him. He still couldn't get over the fact that she'd actually broke him out of jail. From what he understood, it would have been easier for her just to leave him there. There mere fact that she'd bothered to lend him a hand - even if his going to jail _was _her fault - was both baffling and heart warming.

They came quickly upon the army issue vehicle, having encountered only a minimal amount of men on their trip.

"I don't think they realize that you're gone yet," Quistis announced. "Although, I think they do realize that someone cut wires."

"The patrolling men show they're worried about something," Seifer replied, climbing in the car beside her. Their stuff was piled in the back, the case for Seifer's gunblade on the top. He held it tightly in his hand as she started up the car, knowing that they could potentially run into resistance any second. They'd been able to run past the gates, and seemed home free. Yet, he was unwilling to let down his guard. They had both been trained too well from that.

"I hope Selphie, Paxx, and Krik are alright..." Quistis murmured, chewing on her bottom lip.

"We'll see soon enough," Seifer replied, knowing it was little consolation but also knowing Quistis would see strait through any kind lie he told her. It was better just to face the truth head on, people let themselves deny things in order to keep from dealing with them. Seifer's policy had always been to plow strait through everything with with a bull-like ferocity.

They both fell silent as Quistis tore down the gravel road, throwing up rocks and dust behind them. He hoped that she knew where she was going, and allowed himself to stare off into the bleak, dark night.


	13. Solitude

Rating

Rating: R

A/N: Whew! Working hard to get all the stuff done that I need to get done! I'm going to try and finish this fic ASAP so that I don't have some unfinished thing hanging over me for school, so (if all goes as planned and I don't hit massive writer's block) you should be getting a lot of updates from me.

On another note: This chapter is for Chris - for keeping me sane...bandaging my injuries...you rock :)

Chapter 13: Solitude

Quistis paused to look up at the towering structures of Deling City. Beneath her thin, filmy yellow dress she could feel her muscles quiver. Seifer stood beside her, his presence both strong and silently unobtrusive. Neither of them spoke but looked out across the glittering lights and busy people. Residents rushed by them, practically oblivious to the fact that anyone else existed in the world.

Seifer's gloved fingers came up to brush across Quistis'. It was a strange gesture, one she wasn't accustomed to receiving from him. Nevertheless, she understood it. He meant to soothe her frazzled nerves, to reassure her that, despite everything, things would turn out alright.

The noise from the train station floated up to them, harassing their ears. Quistis was thankful for the dull roar that drove thought out of her mind. She was worried about Selphie, Paxx, and Krik, and her fears had haunted her the entire way back to Deling City. Seifer had been surprisingly supportive, his deep murmurs of hope echoed in her head - ones he'd whispered to her on the train ride and others from the car. She got the feeling that he hadn't expected her to get him out of jail, and his kind actions were ones of gratitude. It was beyond her why she seemed to want it to be more than that.

"Where are we meeting them?" Seifer asked, his voice low.

"In front of the hotel," she replied, reaching back with one hand to straiten the clip in her hair. Seifer's hot, aqua gaze trailed after her hand.

"It's better down, you know," he announced.

"What?"

"Your hair," he said. "You don't look so prim with it down."

"Well, I'm no longer Mrs. Almasy," she reminded him. "So it's going up. _Instructor_ Trepe wears her hair up."

"Pity."

Quistis chose to ignore his last remark, not knowing how he meant it. It did, however, make her heart quicken a little. She couldn't put her finger on the moment when her feelings toward Seifer had begun to change, she only knew that they had.

Seifer followed her down the shallow steps, taking them two at a time. His stride was full of confidence, mirroring the cocky strut of his youth. It was that demeanor Rinoa had referred to, saying it made her feel as if she could accomplish anything. In that moment, Quistis took great relief from his confident air. If he could have hope for a successful outcome, she could as well.

He wore his characteristic dark pants, but had agreed to shed the trench coat for a black jacket. He looked little like the boy Quistis had once known. His jaw was strong and set. His honey blonde hair was dark, making his sun kissed skin take on a slight pallor. His body was slightly leaner, a little more corded. Seifer no longer fit the image Quistis had created so long ago of him. He'd grown, matured, and years of pain had made him both hard and brittle. She found that she wanted to make him pliable again, to ease the tension that was always evident in his shoulders. She wanted to bring back the light of mischief to his aqua eyes, to see him smirk as he casually prodded her with sly remarks.

Silently, they walked down the busy sidewalk toward the hotel. Quistis could make out the brightly lit sign that hung over the establishment in the distance.

"I hope we won't have to wait around for them," Seifer grumbled.

"I'll just be happy if they're alright," Quistis replied. Seifer gazed over at her from the corner of his eye. She wasn't sure exactly what was going on in his head - she never seemed to be able to predict correctly what he was thinking - but her own stomach was falling ever further toward her feet.

"Selphie's impulsive," he finally replied, "but she's not stupid. Add Paxx and Krik to the equation, and you've got a team that can handle just about anything."

"You think so?" she muttered, mostly to herself, then thought better of it. She was the leader, and the teams had been of her making. Not even her softening feelings for Seifer could over take the need she felt to regain her position as an instructor. She thirsted after it like a drop of rain to parched soil. Without winning back the place she had lost long ago, she was nothing - and she desperately wanted to be _something_.

"You don't have to tell them," he announced, burying his hands in his pockets.

"I don't have to tell them what?" Quistis asked.

"About me," he replied.

"You?"

"About me kissing you." He looked off away from her. "We can forget it happened. I won't say anything...you can go back, get your job as an instructor, make some devoted Trepie a happy husband or something."

"I'm not planning on getting married."

"Ever?" He looked at her this time. "You lie, too. You've always wanted someone to be there at your call."

"We can forget it ever happened if that's what you want," Quistis replied, a little irritated. He didn't reply, and Quistis was happy to let the subject drop. She had other things to think about, plans to make. Seifer clouded her mind and made it hard for her to think. If there was one thing that the situation she found herself in required, it was clarity of mind. She _needed_ to forget it had happened.

The hotel was nearing closer, but the busy street blocked all view of its entrance. Her heart thundered in her chest and, as they went to cross the street, Seifer unexpectedly took a hold of her hand. He rushed her across, dodging in front of one of Deling City's many buses as it stopped.

The surge of people from the bus parted slightly, and Quistis spotted Selphie's distinctive silhouette in front of the hotel doors. Next to her was the shape of a man, one who was looking away down the street instead of at his female companion.

"Seifer..." Quistis hung back. "Oh, Hyne...Seifer, Krik isn't with them!"

***

Quistis sat in the Galbadia Hotel bar, nursing a little glass of strong, pale yellow liquid. A woman in a ridiculously lavish dress sat at the piano, plunking out a shallow melody on the shiny, white keys. Quistis realized distantly that she recognized the song, but she wasn't there to listen to the music. She wanted to be alone with her thoughts, and sought out solitude in the only place she knew she could find it.

Selphie was upstairs in their room. She'd taken everything that had happened very hard. In reality, it was more Quistis' fault than hers.

The drink stared back up at her, enticing her with the fact that she could so easily loose herself in it. She needed something to ease her mind, to bring the world just a little bit out of focus. Gingerly, she took a sip and set the glass back down again. She felt sick, her stomach was turning inside of her like the innards of a washing machine.

Krik was gone.

She pinched her eyes shut with the wave of pain that accompanied that thought.

Their escape attempt hadn't been as lucky as Quistis and Seifer's. Krik had been their one casualty, taken down by a fleet of Galbadian Soldiers as they ran for safety. The soldiers were easy enough to defeat one on one, but when they swarmed they were too much to handle, leaving them with no choice other than to run. Krik, however, had suffered an injury at the hand of his sparring partner. His foot broken, and in immense pain, he fell behind and was captured.

It was hard to say whether he was still alive. Most likely, the Galbadian Army wouldn't take chances on anyone coming back to rescue him and would do away with him. If he wasn't already dead, he was certainly in high security detention. Krik was a spy, and Quistis could think of no country that didn't react harshly to spies in their midst.

Quistis took another quick sip of her drink, frowning as it made its way down her throat and tingled in her stomach.

"Didn't imagine you to be much of a drinker." Seifer sat down across from her, his head low and the dim lights playing in his dark hair.

"I want to be alone."

"I know."

Quistis sighed, struggling to keep the tears that so wanted to fall from cascading down her cheeks. A confusing tangle of emotion was stuck firmly in her chest. She was angry at herself, incredibly depressed, and frightened that everything was crashing in upon itself.

Seifer's hand came across the table and took the drink from hers. He tipped the glass up to his own lips and took a healthy swig.

"You pick a strong drink," he nodded, setting the half-full glass back on the table.

"Seifer...I really don't need to hear it," she replied, resting her head in her hands. "Just go away."

"Hear what?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. "That you fucked it up? That you should have thought of this happening and planned for it?"

"Yeah, that." She narrowed her eyes and looked up at him, aware of the way her hair fell about her face in wild disarray. "Do you honestly get joy from the pain of others? Have you been taunting me all along - playing some sort of game with me?"

"I've never played games with you," he replied. Pushing the glass toward her a little. She frowned deeply and took a drink.

"Then why are you here?" she asked. "I asked you to leave me alone."

"You can't just sit here and get drunk," he said as way of an answer. "On top of that, with as much as you hate to hear it, you don't really want to be alone right now."

"Yes, I do."

Seifer ignored her comment, sitting back and looking over at the piano girl instead of issuing a reply. He had showered and changed since their arrival in Deling City. He now wore the trench coat, and his gloves hung slightly out of his pocket. His eyes, made darker by the low light, traveled up and down the piano player, and Quistis felt a sharp jab of jealousy.

"I'm _sure_ she'd give you some if you asked," she snarled, bringing his attention back to her.

_ Okay...maybe he's right...maybe I don't want to be left alone._

He smiled a little, the corners of his mouth turning up seductively - or, it could have been Quistis' hazy mind turning the smile into a sexy grin.

"I'm not here to ogle the piano lady," he finally replied. Quistis stared down at her drink, running one finger along the edge of the glass.

"It's my fault you know," she announced. "Krik would be okay if I'd been a better leader. I should have thought that something would happen...I should have done something."

"Like what?" he asked. "If you could go back and do it all over again, what would be different?"

"I don't know," she admitted after some thought. "But I know I missed something somewhere."

"It's done and there's nothing you can do to change it," he announced, his voice firm. "No matter how much you wish that you could change things, you can't. So, you might as well just come up with a way of dealing with how everything pans out. You can't change the past, only put it behind you."

"Funny coming from you," she retorted.

"If you're just going to sit here and piss the night away, I'm not going to sit and watch you," he narrowed his eyes. "I don't need to hear you whine over some hard liquor about how the entire world seems to be against you."

"Then don't."

"I won't."

"Good, leave!" Quistis glared across the table at him, her mood foul. Seifer, however, wasn't going to give in.

"Look, I understand that you're upset...fuck, I don't even know why I'm trying to help," he growled, jabbing a finger at her. "But all this shit you spout about being a good leader better become something you believe real quick, or you're going to find yourself on the end of Cid's short list of disappointing failures, right along with me. A leader wouldn't be at the fucking bar bawling into a drink. A leader is the glue that holds a team together, if you're weak, everyone else is weak."

"Seifer -" she started, but he interrupted her.

"No, damn it, listen to me!" His eyes flashed with a shallow anger and he grabbed the glass away from her. "I've nothing against you taking a drink or two to ease the pain, but hell, Quistis! Peel yourself off the ground. Be the strong, capable woman that you like to think you are."

Quistis stared at him for a moment, letting what he said sink into her mind.

"I'm beginning to wonder if this is what I really want," she admitted, pinching her lips together to hold back a sudden onslaught of emotion. "I've messed everything up."

He didn't reply, but took her drink from her and finished it off. Quistis felt all of her energy to fight leave her, and leaned her head in her hands. She wanted Seifer to help her, to make her forget how horrible everything was turning out. At the same time, she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She wanted the solitude to sort through things without the filters of fear and anger. She wanted peace of mind, clarity. Miserably, she reached across the table.

Seifer seemed surprised when she touched his hand, her eyes brimmed with tears.

"Things could still turn out okay, you know," he announced, leaning forward. "The governments of Dollet and Timber could get Krik out of jail, we could save them...Garden will treat you as a hero and make you an instructor again."

"That's not going to happen," she shook her head.

"It might," he shrugged. "Anything's possible." She sighed and looked up at him, desperately in need of some sort of comfort, and not knowing anywhere else to look. He stood, taking her hand in his and pulling her onto her feet. With her hand tucked tightly within his, she felt a little better.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Just for a walk," he replied. "You want solitude, I can give it to you." His wide back was all Quistis could see as they left the hotel and emerged out into the cool night air.

Quistis hadn't realized how used she'd become to spending time with him. At the base, he'd filled her every waking moment. Even when he wasn't around, all of his things were - there was his scent, his everlasting presence. She hadn't realized how strange it would be to roll over and see Selphie instead of him. They'd only gotten one room this time, being a little low on money. Seifer and Paxx shared one bed while Selphie and Quistis shared the other.

As he started toward the edge of the city, Quistis drug her heels.

"We can't leave the city, I'm not armed," she protested.

"We'll be fine...I've got Hyperion," he shrugged and drug her along with him. She had to admit, the idea of Seifer protecting her from monsters was unusually intriguing. On top of that, it was nice to get away from the busy city. Deling City had to be one of the most restless places in the world, there was never a moment when half the population didn't need to go somewhere or do something. 

"I'd still feel better if I had some way of defending myself," she replied. Seifer sent her a crooked grin. 

"Don't worry about it," he squeezed her hand, "I won't let anything hurt you." His free hand came to rest against the jutting form of his gunblade. 

Quistis smiled a little and allowed him to take over. She was tired of struggling for control, and it felt remarkably good just to give in. Seifer, finding her passive for once, seemed to have no qualms about suddenly being in control of the situation. His fingers tightened around her hand, almost to the point of being painful. 

They walked out of the city and out into the country side. The green grass under Quistis' feet was slightly damp from either a rain storm or condensing ocean air. It was slightly slick, and she was thankful for his firm grip in case she fell. Her mind was a little hazy from the drink. She had a low tolerance for alcohol, and she knew that if she'd gone through the entire glass she would have been roaring drunk. Seifer, however, seemed completely lucid despite the hard drink he'd finished off. 

She supposed it was part of being a man, being able to hold liquor. It was a retro view of the world, but Quistis had always considered herself somewhat traditional. 

"Really, where are we going?" she asked. 

"A little place that's good for thinking," he replied cryptically. She looked up at the sky, finding her marker stars to figure out what cardinal direction they were heading. She did enough traveling that cities began to look the same after a while. The county side and buildings would change, but the sky wouldn't. She had to search for a while before she found the one to the south, and figured that they were heading north, toward the ocean. 

"The beach?" she thought aloud. 

"Well, sort of," he shrugged. "It's near the beach. Unless you really want to go to the beach..." 

"I don't care." Some of the tension eased out of Seifer's form, only to return moments later when they encountered a thrustaveis. Quistis stepped out of the way and he fought it off with swift efficiency, leaving the crumpled form of the flying monster laying on the ground. It was strange for Quistis to hang back during the fight, but at the same time it was wonderful to watch Seifer in action. He was, by far, one of the best fighters that she had ever seen. His gunblade was like an extension of himself, and he struck with a deadly accuracy. Her blood was warmed considerably by being held under his able wings. 

"Seifer?" Her voice sounded oddly hollow as they walked along through the night. 

"Yeah?" He wasn't looking at her, but watching their surroundings with squinted eyes. 

"I'm going to be held responsible no matter what, right?" Quistis frowned and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "I mean...I'm the leader, so I'm responsible for everyone. Whether or not it really was my fault is meaningless." 

"Not necessarily," Seifer shrugged. "Cid's got a soft spot for you." 

"Yeah, a soft spot...which is why he demoted me," she replied, rolling her eyes. 

"Quistis, if the rest of the mission is successful, they won't come down on you because of Krik," he shook his head. "You can't keep wallowing in self-pity. You've got everything going for you, learn to appreciate it." 

She fell silent with that and listlessly let Seifer lead her further toward their destination. When they came to the top of a bluff, she could feel the ocean breeze rise up to bring a slight chill to her bare legs. She still wore the yellow dress she'd put on before arriving in Deling City. It wasn't the sort of thing she usually wore. Instead of high boots, she wore strappy sandals that were tinged with golden hues. The dress itself was a pale, daffodil yellow and was delightfully airy. She'd bought it envisioning that she would someday wear it as she stood in a field of flowers waiting to meet her lover. Instead, she found herself wearing it in the watery moonlight. 

"This is it?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. 

"Yeah," he shrugged, looking away from her again. 

"You come here often?" 

"No," he hesitated. "Well...sometimes, not often. Has good scenery." 

"I wasn't aware that you were really into scenery," Quistis laughed, feeling a sudden rush as blood raced to her head. 

"I'm not quite what people think," he said, then let go of her hand. "Anyway, I'll just leave you alone for a while now. I'll be down on the beach, come and get me when you want to go back." With only a slight pause, he turned his back on her and started back down the hill. 

Quistis watched him go, feeling her stomach drop and her heart slow. Her day was not going as planned. Krik had been captured, was probably scheduled to be killed. On top of that, she'd gotten what she wanted - solitude - only to find that she didn't really want it anymore. Fighting the urge to call Seifer back, she watched his form dissolve into the dank night and turned her face to the sky, hoping to find some twinkle of guidance in its studded depths. 


	14. Red

Rating

Rating: R

A/N: I'm sorry for the unusual length of time it took me to get this update out. I've had a pretty tight schedule the past week or so, and it hasn't allowed for much writing time. Also, I realize that some of you are getting frustrated with the pace of this fic. I'm sorry, and I thank you for staying with me. 

Special Thank You: Caterchipillar, what can I possibly say to you? You're amazing...perhaps one of my biggest fans. Behind me every step of the way, always a fountain of encouraging comments. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. :) 

Chapter 14: Red

Seifer ran one finger down the side of his gunblade, clearing away fine particles of dust from the sharp edge. In reality, it wasn't as razor sharp as most people thought, for one very good - if not gruesome - reason. It took a lot of strength to force a weapon through the flesh of an enemy, and if it was sharp enough to cleave down to the bone, it would often get stuck. The average person didn't have the physical gusto needed to slice off a limb with one stroke. Thus, the gunblade served him better if it was slightly dulled.

He grinned slightly to himself. Seifer genuinely liked combat, he liked the way it made his blood boil and muscles twitch. The rush was incomparable and certainly unlike anything he'd ever experienced before. SeeD seemed like the perfect job, the happiest avenue to take. However, the longer he brushed his fingers across the smooth, metal surface of his gunblade - which may as well have been an extension of his soul - he found himself becoming increasingly restless.

_ Quistis_ - he knew she was behind it somehow. He couldn't remember a time before her when he'd questioned himself about the future, about what he really wanted out of life. He was actually starting to wonder if _this_ was all there was; this existing for the service of others, this restless, unending violence...this guilt. Despite himself, he found that he wanted some peace in his life. He wanted some measure of peace, something he had found thus far only in the company of a certain Quistis Trepe.

_ Why her? Am I just a glutton for punishment? She's always made my life as hellish as I have hers...why should I even like her?_

His muscles tightened imperceptibly, and the woman in question looked up at him, as if sensing some invisible form of tension radiating from him.

"Something wrong?" she asked, her eyes two unblinking pools behind her thin, wire rimmed glasses. Mere moments before they planned to board a train to Dollet, Quistis was writing up a report of their mission so far. Her pen shook slightly in her hand, but her face betrayed no anxiety.

"No," he replied bluntly, and turned his attention back to his gunblade. Paxx and Selphie, who had willingly chosen to stick together - or, rather, had chosen not to be with Seifer - had already left for Timber. Quistis had seemed mildly upset at having to spend more time alone with him, although her manners gave no hint to the slight panic that had showed in her eyes when it was first suggested.

"We should probably get going, or we're going to miss our train," she announced, slapping her thin notebook closed on her loopy, elegant handwriting.

"Feel free to lead the way," he shrugged, standing to secure Hyperion at his waist.

The trip down to the lobby and then to the train station was made in silence. Both of them were still struggling to adjust to the changes that had occurred between them. It had been easy enough for him to admit that Quistis was a desirable force in his life when they'd been alone on the Galbadian base, miles from anyone they'd ever known. It was a whole different thing to desire her outside of that confined world. Suddenly, she was Instructor Quistis Trepe once again - if not by title, than by mannerism - and that was a hard hurdle for Seifer to jump.

Still, as he stared at the back of her head, focusing on the clip that held her waves of golden hair in a pert little fishtail, he couldn't help but remember the things he'd discovered about her. He'd never imagined that she had a sensual side, that she would respond to a kiss in any other way than by slapping him silly and adding yet another scar to his collection. But, she had responded, and in a wonderfully exciting way. He wondered what she would do if he did it again, outside of the world they'd created at the base.

"I think I've been on just about every train on the planet now," Quistis announced as they sat down.

They were side by side, and they were casually pressed up against one another. Even that small amount of contact made a long shudder race through Seifer's muscles. All the time he'd spent on top of the covers with Paxx sleeping calmly beside him had given him a lot of time to fantasize about the blonde in the next bed. As the night progressed, they became more and more graphic. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly finding his attraction to her magnified, and he secretly hated himself for his weakness. It would be different if all he wanted from her was sex...but he wanted more from her than that.

"You're unusually quiet," she noted, a pert nod of her head accenting the remark.

"Sorry, didn't realize chatter was part of my character," he rolled his eyes. That defensiveness, it popped up from time to time without warning.

_ Who am I kidding? It pops up all the time._

"Fine," she recoiled a little and faced forward again.

_ Do it now...you'll never have a better opportunity..._

For a few, agonizing moments he fought against his base instinct. He had to work with her, see her for the next few days, and if she spun around and slapped him it would be comparable to pouring salt in an open wound.

Fuck...just do it!

In a rush of motion he captured Quistis' jaw in his right hand and levered her face toward his own. He was vaguely aware of her muffled gasp of surprise as their lips connected. Her mouth was surprisingly soft under his, and as he fought not to loose himself in the kiss, he felt the tension ease from her body. That was his undoing, the way she melted into him...a low sigh escaping her formerly rigid body. Seifer bit at her, nibbling along her bottom lip until she allowed him to deepen the kiss. She only seemed to realize what that entailed when he slid her jaw open.

"Whoa..." she pulled suddenly away, her eyes bright and wild. "Where did _that _come from?" Her breathing was heavy, and he could see the quick rise and fall of her chest as she gaped up at him.

Seifer didn't answer her question, but turned to look out the window. He wasn't sure if her reaction had been rejection or shock. A little confused, an unreasonably angry, he felt his every muscle tense. It was hard for him to understand where all the anger was coming from. He'd been a bully all of his life, but it had always been more of a past time than a real outlet of suppressed rage. Presently, his temper was something vastly different. It was an outlet for his guilt, a means for him to exercise the flood of anger he felt toward the people who had betrayed him. The people who were supposed to be his friends who hadn't been bothered in the least to turn their backs on him.

Quistis touched his arm, derailing his thoughts. He jumped involuntarily and turned back to look into her questioning blue eyes. He wasn't sure he knew how to answer her question.

"Seifer?" she tilted her head to the side a little. She blinked a few times, her ruddy lips parted slightly. Seifer wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, to take hold of her and never let go, but part of him knew that he couldn't. This wasn't just a girl, this was Quistis Trepe - she wasn't like the women he generally kept company with.

"What? You want me to say some shitty damn romantic thing to you?" he demanded. That seemed to catch her off-guard.

"No, I'd never expect that of you," she replied, her eyes narrowing.

_ Hyne - I'm such a fucking bastard._

Her jaw clenched, and she turned away from him. Shaking his head, Seifer desperately tried to sort through his muddled thoughts. He was no longer sure how he felt about Quistis. He wanted to shove her down, scream at her, and make love to her all at the same time. It was a confusing, bubbling mix of emotions that was keeping him constantly on edge.

_ Dammit! I don't need this shit!_

***

Dollet was one of those cities that never changed - the pace of life, the thickness of the air, the same old man walking down the street, his haggard dog obediently at his heels. Quistis didn't particularly like change, and there was a certain amount of peace she drew from the seemingly immortal Dollet. Perched on the side of the fountain, she let her mind run over the strange changes that had occurred in her life since she left Balamb with Selphie, Paxx, Krik, and Seifer.

It seemed like a lifetime ago. She almost couldn't remember the details of her teaching career, almost couldn't remember sitting bitterly in the cafeteria the morning before they left. For a moment she thought of Squall. Only, she thought of the moody Squall that had existed before Rinoa. He'd always seemed to restless, so out of place with the other students. She never really understood why the female population of Garden wasn't all over him - she certainly wouldn't have minded getting a piece of him. With Rinoa, things had changed. She couldn't say that she was happy Rinoa had been able to crawl under Squall's skin, couldn't even say that she wasn't still bitterly resentful, but she was starting to understand.

Seifer, of all people, was showing her how difficult relationships could be. She could identify with Squall's unwillingness to be involved in them - they certainly opened up a person to a whole new world of pain and confusion.

Clenching her fists together, she felt her fingernails bite into the flesh of her palm. Seifer's ever shifting attitude was beginning to become more than she could take. One moment, he'd corner her and kiss her passionately only to pull away and unleash some of the ever present violence that existed within him. She didn't understand why he was acting so erratically, really wasn't even sure she wanted to. All she really knew was that she was tired of being dangled on a string. At least Squall had been able to directly tell her he didn't want her.

Presently, she was faced with the task of sorting through her own feelings. Did she want Seifer? Could he possibly ever be the one for her? There was undeniably something about him that had drawn her in. After all, she couldn't ignore the fact that when he kissed her - an act that was becoming more and more frequent as of late - her blood quickened and her muscles began to melt. The magic she'd always wanted to find wasn't there, the questions in her mind belied its existence, but there was _something_. Was something enough to hold onto? Was Seifer even the kind of person a girl _could _hold onto?

She had too many questions, and not enough answers. On top of that, the distraction that Seifer presented had been severely affecting her focus on the mission. Galbadia hadn't attacked yet, and they'd already been in Dollet for three days. She was becoming antsy and doubt was starting to creep into the back of her mind. What if they'd gotten the details wrong? What if she screwed up...would her world come to a quick and abrupt end if she ever failed so miserably? She wanted to curl up into a ball and hide.

The setting sun splashed crimson red across the sky. The color, thick as blood but soft as rose, sunk deep into the fluffy clouds, staining them a tantalizing pink. The orange halo toward the horizon was blotted out by buildings but reflected back onto the ground. 

Red - that covered just about everything. In the scarlet depths of the sky, she could clearly see her anger, desire, and fear. Strange how so many emotions could exist in one shade of the rainbow. Quistis liked to consider herself observant and well equipped. Seifer was starting to prove that she was neither.

Pushing herself up onto her feet, she pushed her loose hair behind her ears. The last thing she wanted to do was waste the evening standing around and thinking about Seifer. She'd spent the last three days, in fact, the past week thinking about him. It seemed he never left her mind. Determined, however, Quistis smoothed down her light, pleated skit and started down the cobblestone street. Her sandals filled the still air with a rhythmic patter, giving her something else to focus on. 

For lack of a better thing to do, she wandered into the local pub, intending to play a few games of cards. She'd played all over the world and had quite a formidable deck. In short, she was hard to beat. If anything, it was a good way to make a few quick bucks - gamble a little, win a few games, and she'd have a pocket of gil to keep her away from the hotel. So maybe it wasn't completely honest, the people who bet against her generally had the money to burn. 

"Evening." A man, she guessed he was in his mid twenties, grinned at her as she walked into the dim establishment. His hair was fiery red and spiked attractively. His penetrating blue eyes ran up and down the length of her a few times before he got up out of his seat.

"Do I know you?" Quistis leaned away from him a little.

"You could," he chuckled, his voice deep and rich.

"Really?" Quistis raised an eyebrow. Everything about him was fundamentally attractive - great body, handsome facial features, he was even charming in his own way - but he wasn't really her type. If he was maybe a little taller...with some gold and green in his eyes...lighter hair, broader shoulders, a wickedly sexy grin...

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked, flashing her his best smile. 

Quistis was about to say no when she caught herself. She didn't have any good reason to say no, aside from Seifer. Opening her mouth, she went to accept his offer, only to find that she really didn't want to sit with the man over a drink.

"Sorry...not tonight," she finally shrugged. 

"Come on," he pressed. "It's only a drink...no obligations." He reached out and touched her elbow.

"I appreciate the offer," she looked down at his hand, trying not to pull away, "but I'm not really up for it tonight."

"Sure you are," he smiled. "Come on...I insist. I mean, you're not doing anything else, are you? It's totally harmless."

"Harmless, I'm sure." Quistis almost choked on her own tongue when she heard Seifer's voice. He'd just entered the pub and his muscles were visibly tense as he walked up behind her. His stormy eyes rested on the red haired man for a few frightening moments before shifting to Quistis. When he reached her, he bumped her slightly with his arm. "We need to talk."

"Who are you?" The redhead obviously felt that he was the resident alpha-male and Seifer was stepping into his territory. Quistis would place her bets on Seifer, but she sincerely hoped things didn't come to that. At the same time, the idea of him fighting for her gave her a kind of sick thrill. 

"Fuck off," Seifer snarled, then grabbed Quistis' arm roughly. "Come on."

The redhead put up surprisingly little fight as Seifer drug her out of the pub - actually, she went with him quite willingly, but it made her feel better to imagine herself being hauled out over his shoulder. His hand was closed tightly over hers, warm and strong. Her eyes were drawn to the play of muscles on his back and arms as he walked. 

"What're you practicing making friends, or what?" Seifer asked, pausing to toss open the hotel door. Was that jealousy in his voice? 

_Hyne...I'm loosing my mind. No stable person could feel this way about Seifer._

Embracing her insanity, if only for a moment, she ignored his sharp question and followed him up the stairs to their room. As days drew by and she spent more and more time with him, she found that she was being pulled in tighter. The ties between them, which had always been slack if not completely non-existent, were being pulled almost uncomfortably tight. Her feelings on the subject were conflicting. Earlier at the fountain she'd been ready to pull his irritating head off, and presently she was ready to seek utter abandonment in his arms. 

Her bizarre, tumbling emotions were something that was becoming increasingly difficult to deal with. 

"Well?" she prompted him, stepping in front of him to enter the room first. It was smaller than the hotel room they'd had in Deling City, even smaller than the room they'd shared on the army base. Seifer seemed to take up all of the empty space that had even thought of existing there, surrounding her and bombarding her senses. Perhaps it was the overload of _him_ that was causing her strange, unwanted desire. 

"You _do_ know what that guy wanted, don't you?" he asked, crossing his arms. 

"I have a pretty good idea." 

"So you just decided to stand there like a moron while he swindled you?" he demanded. 

"Swindled me?" That caught her a little off guard. 

"He was stealing from you, Quistis." Seifer rolled his eyes, like the man's ulterior motives should have been obvious. 

"When...how?" She shook her head, not sure she believed what she was being told. 

"Remember when he touched you?" he asked, making her wonder how long he'd watched. "He's a thief." 

"I thought he..." she looked down at the thick, beige carpet. She'd thought he was rescuing her from the clutches of another man, protecting her as his property. Instead, he'd been protecting their pocket book, defending their fiscal welfare. Somehow, it made her feel like less of a woman. 

"You might want to check yourself later to see if he got anything before I got there," Seifer suggested, taking a step closer to her. 

"I don't think he did," she sighed, her eyes still roaming over her feet and the floor. She could have sworn the man's intentions were solidly placed in the realm of sex. Whether that was something she'd wanted was beyond the point, the fact that he apparently hadn't wanted her hurt a little. 

"I should've knocked his teeth down his throat," Seifer fumed, letting loose a string of swear words. The level of his fury belied the relative innocence of the crime, and Quistis was forced to wonder if Seifer was fibbing to protect himself. He was always the kind to protect himself first, but she supposed that she couldn't blame him for that. His earliest memories were probably ones of abandonment - he'd always had to look after himself. She was the same, only in a different form. Quistis craved success and recognition of that said success. She wanted to protect others from the things that had happened to her. She wanted to escape the life she led. 

"Hyne..." Seifer muttered, bringing her attention back to him. His hand came up to tangle in her hair at the back of her head. With a low, guttural sound, he pulled her face to his and bestowed one of his now familiar kisses upon her lips. Each one was different, but they were uniform in one singular way - each of them made Quistis' heart pound a little harder and pressed the limits of a healthy body temperature. He pulled her close, folding her in a tight, relentless embrace. There was danger and violence in Seifer, and it showed in the way he kissed. He bit at her lips, pursued a deeper union aggressively. Tongue, hands, and lips worked over her, building a passionate tempest deep in Quistis' untouchable core. 

She could feel her muscles tremble as submission lurked. She wanted to give in, wanted to let Seifer take things further. She was tired of being alone, tired of holding back and always doing what was responsible. 

_ Yes. This is what I want. Hyne...Seifer...all that I want..._

Feeling a rush of..._something_, Quistis dropped her jaw and welcomed Seifer into her own embrace. He seemed surprised at first, but it passed quickly and he issued an animalistic sound in response. 

Split seconds later, they were torn apart as a loud roar tore through the air. 

"Oh shit!" Seifer yelled, more lucid than Quistis as he sprinted to the window. She followed him, attempting to regain a hold on all of her faculties. She arrived in time to see the high flying missiles streak across the sky, tearing apart the air and peace in their wake. 

The invasion had begun. 

It took her a moment to process the fact that they were still too high to hit Dollet. Granted, they normally sailed upward right before reaching their target so as to get a direct hit; however, these were still moving to the east, out across the ocean. 

A deep, aching dread hit her, causing her to physically stumble backward. She saw Seifer sink against the window sill through blurry eyes. Quistis wasn't even aware of the shrill cry she let loose. The Galbadians weren't aiming for Dollet, or even Timber. Their missiles were aimed at Balamb. 


	15. Rising

Rating

Rating: R

_"...When I write, I'm not, you know, in my own self. I write from the perspective of my characters, and so I don't think that way. I'm not a self-conscious writer. It's very hard to be self-conscious and write novels..."_ -Ben Mezrich

Chapter 15: Rising

He'd lied, but none of that seemed to matter anymore. Quistis hadn't asked him why he'd gone into the pub, why he'd thrown such a fit over a pick pocket...why he'd been ready to throw her down on the floor and never let her back up. She was still in shock, sitting across from him on the vessel sent from Garden to retrieve them. They were on route to Balamb to join the front, to help the city dig out from under the destruction of the missile attacks.

He pinched his eyes shut, envisioning her sitting on the side of the fountain. The sun had been setting, making her glow with a rich, golden halo. She'd looked like an angel, and he wouldn't have been surprised if moments later rich, downy wings sprouted from her elegant back. It wasn't right that one person could contain such beauty. The person who said no one was perfect obviously hadn't set eyes on Quistis Trepe, or he would have sung a different tune.

All of _that_ in the mind of Seifer Almasy - he knew he was going crazy.

Across from him, her delicate legs were crossed and her hands were folded in her lap. Her teeth worked unconsciously at her bottom lip, making him want to move beside her and take over the task.

Shaking his head to rid himself of wayward thoughts, he tried to focus on what would have to be done once their vessel landed. The Galbadians were being held off for the moment by troops from Garden. They had apparently been shipping soldiers in for weeks via some unknown route. Their plan, as far as Seifer could discern, was to sack Balamb and then use it as an offensive base for attacks on mainland Galbadia. Naturally, they hadn't anticipated the mobile Balamb Garden to be docked in the not so distant Fisherman's Horizon. SeeD was able to arrive within the crucial window of time between the airborne missile strikes and the arrival of troops. Balamb was yet a free city.

Quistis was more shaken than Seifer ever remembered seeing her, and it sobered his otherwise insatiable need to taunt her over the miserable defeat. It went against his very nature, but he felt sorry for her. He wanted to comfort her somehow, to take the pained look from her eyes.

"Have you heard when Selphie and Paxx will be arriving?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"I'm assuming they will be a day behind us," he replied. "The trains aren't running out of Timber to Balamb, so they'll have to go to Dollet."

"Oh," she looked down at her hands. "And Krik? Have you heard anything about him?"

"They'd tell you before me," he answered bluntly. He leaned back, resting one of his gloved hands on the hilt of his gunblade, and openly observed her. She was deeply bothered, perhaps even frightened, by the sudden turn of events. He didn't understand why she cared so much about being an instructor and still had to admit that he didn't believe she was particularly suited for the job. Quistis, while being a very intelligent and able woman, wasn't a leader. She was too nice to give an order that would harm someone, and she dealt with failure poorly.

"Maybe you're right," she sighed, as if she'd somehow known his thoughts. "I'm not really cut out to be an instructor."

"Just because you're not good at one certain job doesn't mean anything," he shrugged, feeling a small pang of sympathy for her.

"Yeah, that coming from a man who was born to be a mercenary," she replied sharply, rolling her eyes. "You know, sometimes I wonder if you have any idea what it's like to want the one thing it seems you can't have."

"Trust me, I do," he snorted, thinking back to the kiss that had almost become so much more.

"Yeah, like what?" she demanded. "You've gone through life just taking whatever you wanted, and there was never anyone to stop you. You can't say SeeD either, because I know you were perfectly capable of passing any of those tests."

Seifer chose to remain quiet for his own safety. Had he even begun to respond to her question, everything would come rushing out in an unstoppable tidal wave. He would tell her of all the times he'd fantasized about her on the Galbadian base. He'd tell her of watching her at the fountain, of following her into the pub and becoming unreasonably jealous when another man looked at her. It wasn't an area he was yet comfortable exploring in the comforts of his own mind, let alone sharing it with her.

"Did you know?" she finally asked, lifting her chin a notch.

"Did I know what?"

"That they were planning on attacking Balamb."

"Fuck no! Hyne...you think I'm that big of a bastard that I'd let an entire city be bombed just so I could point at you and laugh?" He felt all of the air rush out of his body. Was that how she really saw him? Would the image of him as the enemy resurface over and over again until he could no longer escape it?

"No," she admitted. "There just has to be _something _that I missed."

"Well, whatever it was, I missed it too," he replied, refusing to meet her curious gaze. There was silence for a few long moments, and all he could hear was the increasing pace of his heart. He didn't know what he was doing or trying to accomplish, but as his black hair fell in front of his eyes, he knew he wanted things to change. He wanted _her_, and he wanted her to feel the same.

_Hyne...I'm as bad as she is!_

"Seifer..." She leaned forward a little, tucking her hands between her knees. "Before the missiles went over..."

"A mistake, I know," he interrupted her. It was easier for him to say it than hear her rejection.

"A mistake," she repeated, leaning back again. The look that crossed her face was troubled, but only little more so than moments before.

_ Oh Hyne, what am I doing? Why can't I just tell her that I want her? Why is it so different with her...with Quistis..._

"Once we're back in Balamb," she cleared her throat, "we're going to have to put our _mistakes _aside."

"Yeah," Seifer agreed, hating himself through each word she spoke. He wanted nothing more than to get all of his confusing new thoughts out of his mind, and at the same time they were a sort of welcome change. He was very confused, but he knew that he had to do something, or he would miss his chance all together. He'd tried once before, in the hotel room. Presently, he wasn't sure he had the guts to do so again.

Grunting, he pushed himself up into a standing position and made his way over to sit beside Quistis. His heart was racing, and he was severely in doubt of his abilities, but he felt a new sense of determination.

"Seeing as we're putting them aside," he announced, as seductively as he could muster, "it wouldn't make much difference if we made a few more." She tilted her head with curiosity, then cracked a low smile.

"You've changed," she whispered, her face suddenly close to his.

"So have you," he replied.

In truth, they'd both become different people to one another. Quistis no longer saw Seifer as the rude, arrogant bully who stalked the halls of Balamb Garden with only the intention to cause bodily damage to those who displeased him. Seifer no longer saw Quistis as the stuffy, stiff backed school teacher who had betrayed him in his greatest time of need. He was still broken, and she still floundering for a footing in the world, but they were finding themselves on intersecting paths.

"Quistis..." he leaned his head down to brush his lips across hers.

"Hmm?" she sighed, momentarily letting go of all the tension and fear that surrounded their current destination.

"I want you."

"I know."

He kissed her, uncertainly at first to see if she would accept him. When her hands came up and buried themselves in his hair, he knew she was signaling her acquiescence. The scrape of her fingers over his scalp sent shivers through his entire body and his breathing was shaky when he pulled away for a gulp of air. She kissed along his chin and up his jaw line, hugging him close to her. Her hands were under his trench coat, and he leaned into her touch. His own hands were framing her face. One moved to the back of her head and the other traveled down arm and slid around behind her to come to rest in the small of her back.

Quistis had curves in every place that mattered, but even such a small thing as the tiny depression at the crux of her back was a blessed place. He twirled his fingers in it before clenching her tightly to him.

Her mouth took a detour, and she chewed at the soft cartilage of his ear. Seifer groaned into the curve of her neck where he began his own trail of kisses. He moved her hair aside to get to the even more sensitive areas of her neck and sucked gently when he found them.

"Oh, Hyne," she sighed, pressing herself closer to him. He could tell that she wasn't thinking clearly anymore. She had her eyes closed and her head was leaning severely in one direction to give him better access to even the furthest recesses of her neck. It was such a simple thing, and yet it brought her completely within his will. The power he had over her was more than he'd ever dreamed.

When he lifted his head, she caught his mouth with hers, biting onto his bottom lip to keep him from evading her. At the same time, her hands tightened into fists, clenching the material of his vest and scraping across the tender skin of his back underneath. That action showed to him that the power between them was give and take. She could turn him to putty the same as he could her. That had never happened to him before, Seifer had always felt in control with other people. However, with Quistis he was blissfully at her mercy. It was a new and exciting concept.

Her breath fanned over his cheek and a cascade of her newly released hair spilled down her back. Seifer dropped the hair clip behind her and buried his face in her fragrant tresses. It was something distinctly feminine, and it made him want her more.

She scooted onto his lap, wrapping a leg unceremoniously around his waist. He brought both arms around her and, kissing her lips once again, started to ease her onto her back.

"Ow!" Her eyes flashed open and her back arched. "Hyne! What the hell?" Seifer lifted some of his weight off of her and she reached under her back to pull out the hairclip that he had dropped there only moments earlier. He was still hot for her, practically panting with his desire, but the moment was broken. In a strange way, he wouldn't have wanted it to happen then anyway. Quistis was vulnerable, hurt. He wanted her in possession of all her faculties when she decided to come to him.

"Sorry," he apologized, taking the clip from her hand.

"It's alright," she shook her head, seemingly aware for the first time that her hair was down and her skirt was riding high on her thighs. Blushing a charming shade of red, she pulled her skirt back down into a more seemly position and twisted her hair back into submission.

"Mistake?" Seifer asked.

Quistis looked up at him but didn't reply. It was a start.

*** 

Quistis woke with a start, sitting bolt upright. Her hair, damp with sweat, hung in large chunks in front of her eyes. Her dream ducked into the back corners of her mind, leaving traces of hot fear and confusion in it's shadowy wake. Only the sound of her labored breathing filled the room, a sound that was silent and a roar all at once.

For a few long moments, she wasn't sure where she was. Her surroundings only became familiar as the past few hours flooded back into her memory. She and Seifer had arrived to find a foggy haze over the remnants of Balamb. The train station was all but destroyed and the harbor was filled with chunks of debris. Thankfully, Balamb was a small town and most of the population had been evacuated before the missiles actually hit. The alert from Dollet had apparently been a life saving one.

Balamb Garden responded to the attack. A few SeeDs were still present, helping in the recovery effort. Garden, however, had departed to pursue the Galbadian soldiers who had been in the area, ready to further the attack. Forces from Garden had pushed back their front and were now behind the military arms of Dollet and Timber.

Quistis pushed her hair out of her eyes and tried to calm down. The tent she was sleeping in was small, and she thankfully wasn't sharing it with anyone. At that particular moment, she had to admit that she wouldn't have minded Seifer's strong presence. Her dream had deeply disturbed her.

Through all the failures of her mission, people were still expecting her to rise up and take hold of the situation. They expected her to take the ashes of her life - her dreams - and forge something new. Resurrection was something much more simple to those who never faced the task of piecing everything back together again.

Bringing her knees up to her chest, she stifled a high whine. She didn't think she could do it, didn't think she had the strength to pull herself out of the hole she'd fallen into. Her dream - nightmare - was only evidence of the fragile state of her emotions. She'd dreamt that she'd arrived in Balamb during a massive attack by the Galbadians. Caught unaware by the sudden onslaught, she was without her weapon. She fought at them, but they kept coming. By the hundreds, they flooded into the city leaving paths of death and destruction behind them. Quistis remembered the sound of her body hitting the ground when one of them knocked her down.

Shivering, she crawled out from under her blankets and peeked out into the dark night. The moonlight was almost completely blotted out by clouds, and all lights from the city had been extinguished. The grass under her bare feet was wet, but there was only one place she wanted to be, and cold feet was the least of things that could stop her.

It wasn't hard to find the right tent, it was only a few feet away from hers. Quietly, she unzipped the front and climbed inside, zipping it back up behind her.

"What the-" She saw Seifer's thick form rise up in the dark.

"Seifer...shh, it's me," she whispered, touching a hand to his shoulder as she lowered herself beside him.

"Quistis?" he relaxed a little. "What're you doing here?"

As she opened her mouth to answer the question, she was swamped with embarrassment. She felt like a little kid running into mommy and daddy's room after a bad dream. She was far from a day when such a thing was acceptable, yet she found herself sitting in Seifer's tent in the middle of the night, waiting for him to push the fear out of her mind. She wasn't naive enough to not realize the implications of that.

"I..." she hesitated, then let out a long breath. "I had a nightmare."

There were several moments of long, heavy silence before he replied.

"About what?"

Quistis had never felt so relieved in her life as she did when he lifted up the covers to let her under. For this night at least, she was welcome and would be taken care of. Whether Seifer's feelings were genuine or would be present in the future didn't matter. There here and the now - something Quistis rarely gave much though to during most of her life - was all that held any weight. She was always living for the future, for what _would _be. She'd ignored all forms of social life in order to become a SeeD, and then again in order to become an instructor. Still, the future was a driving force in her life. After all, the only reason she found herself in her present state was due to her craving to craft the perfect future.

Ignoring what it would mean tomorrow, she burrowed into the makeshift bed, feeling Seifer's strong, warm arms come around her. It wasn't a feeling she was accustomed to - feeling safe, protected - but it was a blissfully welcome one.

"Well?" he prompted.

"The Galbadians sacked Balamb and I couldn't stop them," she muttered, burying her face in his shoulder. "They were killing everyone, nearly killed me before I woke up."

"Not good," he yawned.

"Seifer," she gripped the material of his shirt tight enough to pain her knuckles, "so much has changed. You, me, the world...I don't think I can handle it."

"Really?" his grip tightened on her until it was almost painful. His scent surrounded her, permeated her skin down to the bone, and she was sure in the morning people would be able to tell who's arms she'd been in the night before. Maybe it was pheromones, or maybe it was just her own mind just making things up, but she could recognize the characteristic scent of Seifer anywhere.

"Are you listening?" she asked skeptically, noting the evening of his breathing and the languid weight of his limbs.

"Mmm," was his only reply. He was half asleep, probably not even hearing half of what she was saying. It was better, Quistis supposed, than having him alert and demanding answers she didn't have. Why had she come to him after the dream? Why did she feel better when he was beside her? Why did she already feel as if she was strong enough to deal with any eventuality to come?

Cuddling up to his side, she contemplated all the questions floating through her mind. There was only one answer that fit, but it was completely ludicrous. How could anyone possibly love Seifer? Especially someone like her who had been on the opposite side of the fence from him so many times. Of course, they had a lot to link them together - not the least of which being a shared childhood. She'd known Seifer all of her life, yet she'd never _really _known him at all.

Tomorrow was a new day, a day from which she would have to build the rest of her life. Nothing would ever be the same, but she was starting to wonder if that was such a bad thing after all. Rising up out of the ashes of her former self, she'd find the strength to move on. Rising - higher and higher - past regret, pain...memory.

Pressing her lips to the warm skin of his neck, she drifted off into an all together more blissful rest.


	16. Bleeding

Rating

Rating: R

A/N: Good thing that I got some sleep today after school! I sat down and just wrote this in one big shebang! It's a little weird, but that's okay. Also, I've decided how many chapters this fic is going to be...and I'm getting very reluctant to finish it! Not that I'm tired of writing it, the complete opposite, I don't want it to end :) Anyway, moving on...we're _almost_ done here. Enjoy. 

Chapter 16: Bleeding

Seifer rolled over, tucking himself closer to whatever warm, fragrant thing he'd been dreaming of. He felt comfortable, and he thought he could probably lay forever right where he was. It was only when he felt movement underneath him that he dared to open his eyes. It was always hard in the morning to get up and face the world. It never looked as he'd imagined during sleep, and the peace he occasionally would find in unconsciousness would bleed away with the night.

This morning, however, he opened his eyes to the sleeping countenance of Quistis Trepe. She had one arm slung around him and the other was crooked up above her head, showing the creamy curve of her skin. Her blonde hair caught the pre-dawn light and fanned out across the pillow they were sharing. He felt his breath catch and the world physically seemed to rock about him.

Franticly he searched his mind. How had she gotten there? What had happened between them?

_ Oh Hyne...if we...and I forgot?_

He peeled himself away from her a bit, only to have her hang on and come with him. The movement jarred her out of sleep and her eyes cracked open, dilated and hazy. She had a firm grip and had one leg entwined with one of his.

A soft smile curved her mouth.

"Quistis?" he whispered, not quite knowing how to pose his question. Vaguely he remembered something of a dream he'd had, she'd come to him in the night and climbed into his bed. As he stared down her her, still not quite sure he believed she was there, he attempted to ravel a sense of reality into the hazy memory.

"Hmm?" she let her vice grip ease up enough to drop her back onto her back.

"You're..." he had to look away from her to collect his thoughts. "You're here."

Quistis shrugged a little and yawned. Beneath him, he felt her muscles strain and stretch. Her lithe body under his was more than Seifer could resist and he bent back down to brush a kiss across her cheek. He could only think that what he was feeling was something he'd never known. It was something he supposed everyone wanted, and he had to admit to a little bit of surprise that it somehow came to him.

"What time is it?" she asked, trailing one hand down his back.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "The sun will be up in a bit."

"I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to go."

They sat in silence, Seifer wishing he could tell her everything on his mind and wishing he hadn't told her the things he already had all at the same time.

The sound of their breathing filled still air in the small tent. Seifer would have never imagined weeks ago that he'd _ever_ wake up in Quistis' arms. He'd always thought that she was beautiful - how couldn't he? - but he'd never even considered the idea that they might someday find themselves together. Presently, that seemed like more of a probability than a far-fetched fantasy. After all, she'd finally come to him, trusted him, and now the air between them was devoid of tension.

"Quistis?"

"Yeah?"

"This is crazy," he shook his head, then pressed his cheek to hers. He wasn't even sure what he meant, whether his feelings were chaotic or that the both of them had to mentally unhinged to even consider what they were.

"You're not what I always thought you were," she replied.

"I am," he squeezed his eyes shut, envisioning the exotic form of Edea. "I'm everything you've ever thought of me. I've hated you, hated Squall...I _would_ have killed you."

"But not anymore."

"That's not really the point," he sighed. "There's nothing good about me, Quistis. Even now, when it's been done and over for years, I can't move on. I will always be the Sorceress' Knight."

"I wouldn't have you any other way," she shrugged. "You're more than that."

Seifer didn't continue the argument. For one, bickering was the last thing he felt like doing. Also, her praise made his heart pound and made his blood run thickly warm. He liked hearing her defend his honor, even if he didn't deserve it.

"If you're going to go, now's the time," he said instead, giving her the chance to retreat. During the night, things were twisted around. She might not have been thinking clearly, she could be regretting ever coming to his tent. Doubt - his most common partner next to anger and a deeply wounded sort of depression. He'd been bleeding for years, and not from an easy to deal with physical injury.

"I'm fine right here," she said firmly.

He let out a long breath when she said that, not even having been aware of holding it. Not knowing what to say, he bit down on his tongue and rolled over so that he was no longer on top of her. She readjusted, placing her fragrant little head on his shoulder. The sheer golden tresses of her hair cascaded behind her like a waterfall in the wind. He wanted to bury himself in it, surround himself with the blissful gold and never resurface.

"You know what people are going to say..." he muttered.

"Nothing they don't already, I'm sure," she snorted. "People believe what they want to."

Seifer smiled, knowing that somehow during the night everything had changed. He and Quistis had changed, the world itself had become irrevocably different. Perhaps, he reflected, that was a wonderful thing. Certainly the former, but the latter could be as well. If Quistis didn't receive her position back as an instructor, they could start their own life..._together_.

He stopped short of imagining little blonde haired kids, Quistis as a wife and mother. Not only a mother, but mother to _his _children.

Wallowing in male bliss, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and continued to deny that the thought of her as his wife didn't please him to his core.

***

Sweaty, filthy, and exhausted - Squall let his gunblade slip from his fingers to clatter against the ground. Quistis watched him with guarded eyes. He'd been worked hard the past few days, and likely blamed the whole situation on her. After all, her failure was the cause of the whole mess Garden found itself in.

He forked a hand through his hair and, stooping down to retrieve the lost weapon, walked up to her. His icy blue eyes betrayed no emotion. She'd known that she would have to face him eventually, but she'd naturally assumed that she wouldn't have to see him until the ordeal was settled. From the current outlook, the war could wage on for upward of months, even years. Galbadia had participated in a shocking act of war, and everyone was poised to respond. Only Centra had yet to choose sides.

"Quistis," Squall nodded, removing his gloves. The sun was warm, and she could feel the black shirt she was wearing absorb the heat and radiate it down into her back. She could only imagine how hot the darkly clad Squall had to be. Snapping the gloves hard against his thigh, he squinted through the dust cloud to see her nod.

"How have you been?" he asked. "I mean...really."

"Alright," she shrugged.

"Where is the rest of your team?" he asked, looking around the tent town.

"In Balamb," she replied. "Selphie, Paxx, and Seifer are helping to clear debris from the harbor so that ships can bring in supplies."

"I see," he nodded. "The war thus far is going in our favor."

"Good to hear." She fought the urge to demand he get to the point. Squall hadn't come to talk to her about the politics of war, and they both knew it. He looked up at the sky, squinting for a moment and rubbing his forehead before he looked back at her. She wondered if he could see the changes. Instead of her usual skirt and tank top combo she was wearing pants, olive green pants with a black tank top and boots. Her hair was pulled back into a loose, half hearted pony tail. She certainly didn't have the air of a Garden Instructor.

"We need SeeDs," Squall announced. "You, Seifer, Selphie, Paxx, and any other SeeD forces here are going to have to redispatch."

The order to move on wasn't something Quistis had seen coming. It made sense, they needed all the forces they could spare to defend Garden and participate in the offense. She suspected that Timber, Dollet, and the rest of the allied forces were digging to the bottom of their pocketbooks for the assistance.

"Where to?" she asked, secretly hoping that she and Seifer would end up in the same place.

"Whever you're needed," he replied. "You're to report back to Garden, you'll be debriefed and reassigned."

"And Garden is...?"

"In Esthar," he replied. "I'll be flying back on Ragnarok."

"I see," Quistis sighed, looking down for the first time with a sense of defeat. "When do we leave?"

"As soon as possible," he replied. "Rinoa and I need to meet with Laguna later today." Quistis nodded and, tangling one hand in a long necklace she was wearing, turned toward Balamb. Her thoughts revolved around Seifer for a moment only to come to rest on Krik. She still hadn't heard the final news on him, whether he was still alive or had been killed. It was possible, however unlikely, that he had divulged information vital the the success of Quistis' mission. It could have been facts he had revealed that Galbadia targeted Balamb instead of the closer threats of Timber or Dollet.

Shaking her head, she mentaly chastized herself for trying to put off her failure on someone else. Even if Krik had given away information, it was her fault he had been caught. Everything eventually looped back upon the leader. She would be held responsible.

Squall didn't follow her, she supposed he was probably going back to Ragnarok to spend some time with Rinoa before departure. She couldn't really blame him, though the bitterness that usually accompanied such a thought was suspiciously dim. Quistis had always been jealous of the way Rinoa was able to wrap men around her finger. It seemed to easy for her to wriggle her way into someone's heart. Love and affection was something Quistis had spent the majority of her life trying to obtain.

Unlike Squall and Seifer, she had been adopted. They had never had the opportunity for a family, although Squall had been given Ellone for a sister. Seifer had grown up with no one, aside from maybe Edea. Quistis had been dropped into an all together different situation. Her family didn't love her, didn't even seem to particularly want her around. She'd only ever said that things hadn't worked out, she'd never hinted to anyone how loosing the prospective love of parents and siblings had hurt her.

All of Balamb loomed in front of her, a mess of smoking rubble. People were crawling over it like ants, trying to haul out the debris so that the people could come in a rebuild. There was no doubt in her mind that Balamb would be rebuilt. There was a lot of money that floated into the little town from its excellent harbor and sea-side charm. Balamb wasn't lacking in any financial respect, and rebuilding would only be a burden rather than an impossibility.

Seifer looked up when she approached and flashed her a short smile. He was still uncomfortable showing any positive feelings at all, but she didn't hold it against him. She still found the whole idea of them as an item a strange one.

"Squall is here," she announced when he walked up to meet her. He looked good, better than good, with the sun beating down on him. His hair was starting to grow out and in a while he'd be back to his natural hair color. She was looking forward to seeing his sandy blonde hair as it had used to be. Though it was the raven haired Seifer she fell in love with, she was ready to accept the other.

_ Love_, had she just really thought that? It didn't come so hard as it used to.

"Really?" he scowled. "What did he have to say? Did his voice change or something, he needed to come and show you?"

"We're being redeployed," she replied, ignoring the sarcastic comment.

"To where?" he asked, his bravado deflated.

"Back to Garden at the moment," she shrugged. "We have to leave now."

"Shit," he cussed, running his fingers through his hair. "Alright, I'll get Selphie and Paxx and tell them."

"Thanks," she smiled. He shrugged and touched a hand to her elbow. She wanted him to kiss her, and waited for a few moments to see if it would come. When it didn't she was only mildly disappointed. Seifer wasn't really the kind of guy for public displays of affection.

"I'm going to put my stuff on Ragnarok, want me to take your stuff too?" she asked.

"Sure," he replied. He lingered for a moment after the word, pausing to look around the harbor. After what seemed an unusual amount of contemplation, he bent over and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. It wasn't like the kind he'd given her back in Dollet. This one didn't hold the savage hunger and restrained violence. This kiss was more like the casual, comforting one he'd given her on the Galbadian base. It baffled her how so many contradictions could exist within one man - violent and gentle, protector and killer, lover and fighter.

"Mmm," she sighed when he pulled away. "Thank you."

"No problem," he laughed.

Turning on her heel, and with a jaunty step, she made her way back to the tents. Most of the townspeople were milling around, looking for something to do or even just something to eat. The Bite Bugs had been a problem at first, but most of them were keeping their distance from the camp. Even the T-Rexaurs seemed to bestow some reverence upon the event and avoided leaving for forests at all.

Her suitcase was mostly packed. Only a few articles of clothing were left strewn about her tent. There was her pajamas which she had torn off in a flurry that morning after leaving Seifer's tent. Waking up with him had been an interesting experience. He'd seemed surprised to find her there, and privately she'd been surprised as well.

They'd laid together for some time, just enjoying each other's company. It was as if nothing needed to be said between them, like all of the world had stopped and they were free to travel whatever path they chose. Nothing was holding them back aside from their own inhibitions.

Unzipping her suitcase, she started to stuff things in without a mind for order. She'd lived out of her suitcase for longer than she usually did, and she was quickly running out of clothes that weren't hopelessly wrinkled and dirty. She had to grin a little as her fingers brushed across the teddy that the G.A.W. had presented her with. Whatever they thought of her now, they probably were regretting it. Quistis had always got the feeling that Pita knew all was not right from the start. She was an observant woman, and had certainly noticed the almost tangible tension between Seifer and Quistis.

Smiling, she laid the teddy on top and zipped the suitcase back up. Maybe someday she would wear the slinky piece for Seifer. The idea made her blush from her forehead to her toes. She was almost giddy with the prospect of what could be ahead of them.

Her giddiness faded as she stepped out of her tent and started toward Ragnarok. She'd been able to ignore the fact that she would someday have to face her superiors back at Garden while Seifer had filled her mind. As she walked, however, each step took her closer and closer to impending doom. Her heart sunk with the realization that she was walking toward the rest of her life, there was no turning back.

The grassy knolls of the Alcauld plains surrounded her on either side, offering her no solace. Her suitcase heavy in one arm, she switched it to her right, which was stronger from years of training with a whip. Well aware that the position made her vulnerable to attack - she would have to drop her suitcase to get to her whip - she walked on. The monsters didn't particularly concern her, she could down any of them with relative ease.

Treading the path of the road that had once lead to Balamb Garden, she let her mind sink back into a reflection of the time before Seifer had become the Sorceress' Knight. She remembered walking down to the beach and letting the waves lap at her feet. Balamb Garden had been a happy, peaceful place to live. She'd settled down easily into her life there. Getting fired, and then sent off into what turned out to be an epic battle, had certainly tossed a stick or two into her spokes.

She looked toward the beach, imagining herself on the shore with Seifer beside her. Why he suddenly was such an irresistible draw was beyond her. Her heart fluttered and little, and she sighed.

Quistis was caught off-guard when something hit her hard from behind, throwing her painfully to the ground. Her first thought was that she'd been attacked by a T-Rexaur, but as a loud voice penetrated through the pain ringing through her knees and back she realized it was a man who had jumped at her.

"Hold still!" he commanded, allowing the blade of his sword to bite into her back. She recognized him immediately as being Galbadian, and her heart sunk down past her stomach to her toes. She continued to struggle under him anyway, trying her best to upset his center of gravity and throw him off. Unfortunately, he held firm.

"Dammit, I said hold still!" he repeated. "I know where you're going...and you're going to get me out of here."

"Why would I do that?" she asked, trying to crane her neck so she could see the face of her attacker.

"Because if you don't, I'll kill you," he replied. "Or have you forgotten that this is war?"

She swallowed and he grabbed a fist of her hair in one hand.

"How many people?" he asked. "I saw the man, there must be more."

"More coming," she replied. The sword dug deeper into her skin. "I'm not going to tell you anything."

"You damn well better!" he bit out. "The rest of my men have been brought in, and I need to get the hell out of here one way or another. Don't think I won't hurt you."

Quistis didn't have time to reply before she heard her rescue begin. She recognized sound of Seifer's voice as he ran up, wielding his gunblade. She heard the soldier gasp audibly and felt an increased pressure behind the sword at her back. His weight lifted slightly when he instinctively leaned away from the oncoming attack. Quistis used the moment to roll under him, though not quite far enough. He leaned back far to avoid Seifer's first swing, plunging the sword into Quistis' shoulder.

Pain flooded her, and she felt hot blood ooze out over her skin. Her entire body seemed to quicken, and the world around her stumbled and titled. She wasn't even aware of Seifer hitting the soldier with his second blow. His hit wasn't nearly as kind as the Galbadian's had been to Quistis and he lay dead on the grass, his blood joining Quistis'.

Her head swam, and she grabbed at Seifer's hand when it came within her site. He pulled the sword out of her shoulder with one swift motion, eliciting a long cry from her. Her vision was blurry, the pain was incredible. Seifer hovered around her, his hands red with her blood.

"Quistis?" he bent toward her. "Oh, Hyne...Quistis."

Her knight...her_ love_...her head lolled against him as he propped her up in his lap.


	17. Agony

A/N: The first of the missing chapters...I'm not quite sure how many there are going to be, enough for me to fill in the holes. I wasn't originally going to fill in any of the holes that I left, but I few reviews expressing uncertainty as to what exactly happens inspired me to complete this little project. Took me a while to get back into the feel of this fic again, so I hope this fits. Enjoy. :-P

_"Beneath the tangles, bleeding silhouette inside, dancing like an angel would." _- Lifehouse

Chapter 17: Agony

Quistis' blood was everywhere. It darkened the black shirt she was wearing, giving it a low crimson glow, and was smeared all across the front of Seifer's coat. She whimpered and looked up at him, her eyes glazed over with agony.

Seifer was frantic. Quistis was going to die, going to bleed to death in his arms, and he didn't have a clue what to do.

"Fuck," he groaned, a whole different but no less searing pain ripping through his chest. He held her toward him, lifting her suddenly fragile seeming body. Quistis Trepe was invulnerable, a cat with nine lives. She was strong and determined, not the wan and frightened woman he was plucking off of the blood soaked grass.

She was pale, the pinkish hue to her skin replaced with a frightening blue. Seifer's head was spinning and his heart was racing, pounding at his ribs and threatening to leap strait out through his throat.

"Quistis?" he shifted her so that her wound was against him in an attempt to stifle the flow of blood. It was oozing out of the wound, almost black it was so dark. He could feel it against his skin as it soaked through his vest, warm and gooey, and he could smell it in the air. She groaned at the new pressure, and grabbed tightly onto his arm with her more able hand.

"Quistis, honey, you've gotta stay with me," he begged, his voice cracking as he fought back a sudden sob.

_ She can't die...not now. Oh, Hyne...please not now._

His legs were surprisingly steady as he started back toward what once was Balamb, his pace hurried and frantic. Ragnarok was visible in the opposite direction, a red blur, but Balamb had the emergency medical crew. They could stabilize Quistis, they could save her.

Tears were slipping down his cheeks, agonized sobs tearing themselves from the depths of his chest.

_ This can't be happening...it can't be. Please, Quistis...don't leave me._

Her eyes were half closed as she looked up at him, her golden hair streaming down toward the ground, smeared with darkness on one side. It was like watching an eclipse, seeing light and life suffocated and blocked by black. She blinked slowly, almost calmly. Seifer was terrified at how suddenly relaxed she seemed. Was she going into shock? Was she looking up at him and not seeing him at all, but the end of her life?

"Quistis," he had to keep talking, for himself and for her. "We're almost there. Almost to help."

The first of the tents were showing in the distance, the beige canvas slapping in the ocean breeze. They looked almost peaceful, completely unaware of the couple staggering toward them. Involved in their own affairs, in cleaning up and bringing life into the city once again. The battle for them was no longer between life and death, but between idleness and action. The war had moved on for them, it was no longer at their front step but being wages miles away across sea and desert in a foreign land. They didn't care about the soldiers, didn't have to care about the enemy, but were wrapped up in their own losses, wallowing in their own pain. 

Seifer had been there. He'd never given a damn about anyone else his entire life. Matron perhaps, an in a twisted sense Ultemecia, but he'd always lived under the pretense that he didn't need anyone else. He was fully self-sufficient, and he didn't want help. Yet, at the same time, he wanted to serve. His dream, once upon a time, to be a knight. Pledge his blade to a cause, a woman, and never waiver. 

He turned his head to wipe his nose on his shoulder. This was a whole new, agonizing experience. He was loosing the only thing in the world he wanted.

Back in Galbadia, she'd forgiven him. Knowing all the terrible things he'd done, not only to others but to her as well, she'd forgiven him. He'd never thought that something would hit him quite as hard as that had. He was surprised to find how wrong he was.

"Okay, just a little further," he told her. "Just about there."

A woman looked up as he stumbled into camp, and he watched the blood drain from her face.

"Oh my," she gasped, her jaw hanging open. 

"Go get someone," Seifer ordered her, feeling stronger both emotionally and physically now that he was no longer alone. "Hurry."

She scrambled to her feet and started toward the medical tent at a breakneck speed, her plain brown shoes kicking up grass in her wake. Quistis was still bleeding, and her eyes were starting to roll back in her head. She'd lost a lot of blood, more than he'd thought someone of her size and stature could possibly have. He was terrified.

The two resident doctors rushed out of the tent moments after the woman had disappeared inside, not hardly as terrified as the woman had been but rather looking mildly thrilled. Their adrenaline was pumping, and their faces were flushed. 

"What happened?" the older one asked as he met Seifer halfway.

"A Galbadian soldier ambushed her," he replied.

"What's her name?" the younger one, who had the shadow of a beard running across his jaw and was carrying a clip board, asked. 

"Quistis Trepe." They continued to walk back toward the tent at a quick pace, bombarding Seifer with questions as to what exactly happened and scolding him for pulling out the sword. His heart dropped when they reminded him that it was better to leave it in, that she would have bleed less had he left it alone. Groaning inwardly, he clenched his teeth against the anguish that brought him. Quistis could die, and it would be his fault.

"Set her down there," the old doctor commanded when they entered the tent, then immediately started barking orders at the younger doctor. As he peeled Quistis away from himself, her eyes flashed open and she cried out in pain.

"Shh, Sweetie," he soothed her. "It's okay." She sobbed shortly and closed her eyes again, dark fluid still oozing from the angry gash in her flesh. 

For a moment, Seifer thought he was going to vomit, and he reeled backwards for a moment as he fought back the nausea. The two emergency doctors rushed in as he stepped aside, cutting away Quistis' shirt with a pair of scissors and giving her a quick injection. 

"Please wait outside, Sir," one of them bade him as he tried to step up to hold her hand. 

"Like fucking hell I'll wait outside!" Anger bubbled up in him, boiling over.

"You'll only be in the way," the man shook his head calmly. "We'll let you know how she's doing."

Taking a deep breath, Seifer turned on his heel and walked back out through the canvas flap. He wanted to sob and scream, but most of all he wanted to go back and change everything. If he'd gone with her instead of hanging behind, she would have never been attacked. If he'd decided to take his own luggage, she would have been able to hold her own against the man. If he hadn't pulled out the sword, he wouldn't be covered in her blood. 

Sinking down onto the grass, he covered his face with his hands. Minutes ticked by, and he didn't move. Every once and a while he'd head Quistis cry out, which was both a relief and a ripping pain. She was alive, but she was immersed in complete misery. In those moments, he would have given anything to take her place.

The sun had changed direction in the sky overhead before he had the strength to pick himself up off the grass again. He needed to change and wash up. With the aid of his bloody hands, he'd smeared it in his hair and his clothing was getting stiff. Putting something new on would hopefully remove some of the guilt, would take away the constant reminder that it was all his fault. 

As he walked drunkenly toward his tent, he spotted a flash of blue and black. Rinoa and Squall were walking together, one with a look of concern and the other one of irritation. Both expressions immediately went to one of horror when they spotted Seifer.

"What happened?" Rinoa gasped, looking up and down him. "Are you alright? Where's Quistis?" Her brown eyes were wide and her hand was gripping Squall's tightly.

"Quistis was attacked on the way to Ragnarok," Seifer replied, not sure how much he could say without breaking down again. 

"Oh no," the color completely drained out of Rinoa's face. "She's not..."

"Is she okay?" Even Squall, master of stoicism, suddenly looked like he was going to loose his lunch. 

"They're working on her now," Seifer shook his head. Rinoa's eyes were shiny with tears, and her gaze immediately slipped from Seifer to the medical tent. Seifer couldn't watch her cry, he'd done enough of that already. He wasn't the sort of man who cried, ever. He was malicious, rude, arrogant. He wasn't sentimental. He didn't want Squall to see him bawl, and he wanted to take off his bloody clothes. So, without another word, he walked away. 

They didn't call after him, and thankfully didn't try to stop him. 

_Look what I've become...sobbing, sniveling, aching._

It was too much to bury, and the pain and unease was once again churning to the surface by the time he made it back into his tent. In time to the sound of his choked sobs, he tore off his clothes. His vest landed on the ground with a hard, stiff thump. Underneath his clothes, his own skin was glazed with the red stuff. In nothing but his boxers, he let his knees give way. Landing with a slap, he attempted to steady the world around him. 

This was a misery unlike any he had ever felt. Repeatedly, he felt sick, and he spent a good deal of time calming himself down so that he wouldn't throw up. 

When he came down the other side of the wave, he gathered up a change of clothes. He needed to wash. Squall and Rinoa would be completing his vigil outside of the tent, and they'd come and get him if anything happened. As soon as he was clean, he'd go back. He'd sit there all night and into the next day if he had to. 

He went down to the beach, wanting to wash off in the sea. With the natural ebb and flow of the ocean, he'd watch her blood come away from him. He'd lay in the wet sand, and he'd let it lap at him, drag at him, comfort him. 

He spent a good half an hour laying there, staring up at the blue sky. He could see her there, up in the clouds and on the rays of the sun. She was inconspicuously beautiful like that. The sort of aching beauty that a person never noticed until he really stopped to look at it, or realized that he might loose it. Seifer closed his eyes, imaging her only a few short hours ago. Things had been looking up between them.

The sun was shining brightly, reflecting in her honey hair, and he'd kissed her. 

He licked his lips.

He remembered her when she was little. A bossy little girl with long blonde hair. She cried all the time to get her way, and she always told on him. She pulled him and Squall off of one another when they fought. He'd disliked her, but there were times when he'd loved her. When they'd set off the fireworks, and he'd watched them reflect in her wide eyes as they burst in the air. She was fascinated by little things, she appreciated the wonder of what was around her, and she wanted only to be loved. Then, she'd been adopted. He wasn't sure what had happened between then and the time she appeared at Garden. But, things within her had changed. She was adult beyond her years, and she no longer looked at the world with awe, but trepidation.

He'd noticed, although at the time he hadn't really cared. He'd never really cared, he'd always been so wrapped up in himself. There was that thirst for control, to keep others at bay and never let them in too close, because they'd hurt him.

He groaned, his eyes shut tightly.

_Hurt, indeed._

It wasn't her fault. He only cared because he chose to, not because she made him. It still wasn't like he was madly in love with her, wanting to marry and spend the rest of his life with her. But, he couldn't stand the thought of her gone, forever.

Scrubbing down once, he pulled on his change of clothes, hardly reticent of the fact that he was still wet underneath. Squall and Rinoa were waiting in front of the tent, sitting side by side on the grass as he walked up. They both looked worried, a little ragged, and Seifer's stomach sank down to his ankles.

"Is she okay?" he asked, fearing the answer.

"The doctors say she's lost a lot of blood," Squall answered.

"She can have mine!" Seifer barked, his muscles tensing. Squall shook his head.

"They're already giving her a transfusion," Rinoa said softly. "The vein running through her shoulder was nicked, and they had a hard time getting her to stop bleeding."

"Oh, Hyne," Seifer sat down a distance from them. He was tired, all the worrying about her was wearing him out. He felt heavy, ready to give in and up. 

"She'll be okay," Squall announced, a veil of confidence in his voice. "Quistis is tough."

Seifer didn't reply, he didn't need Squall trying to make him feel better. He didn't want Squall so much as knowing that he felt awful about the whole ordeal. He didn't want them to know that he was human, that he cried and cared. Inwardly, he felt himself crawling into the old shell of his youth. 

"Poor, Quistis," Rinoa lamented, holding onto Squall's arm and laying her head on his shoulder. Her eyes were puffy from crying. Quistis was, after all, one of her best friends. On top of that, Rinoa wasn't known for being detached and unemotional. Seifer wouldn't be surprised if she howled and bawled for days. At the same time, he wasn't sure of his own fate should Quistis die and be removed from his life. 

"I'm sure she'll pull through," Squall murmured. "Quistis became a SeeD when she was fifteen, she's not known for giving up."

"I hope you're right." Rinoa buried her face in the fur at the collar of Squall's coat. 

Seifer closed his eyes. He couldn't look at them. 

He couldn't listen to them talk about Quistis as if she were already dead. He couldn't watch them sit in each other's arms, he couldn't be witness to their love and happiness. They were there for one another, they had what Seifer was loosing. Something he'd never even imagined would be within his grasp. 

He pulled at a loose thread on his pants, wondering if what had happened would change everything. Even if she lived, would she still want him?

As far as he was concerned, he was the source of all of her agony. It was all his fault: her loosing her instructors license, her failed mission, her injury. Every bad thing that had ever happened to Quistis happened because of him. He was poison. 

Perhaps, in the long run, she would be better without him. That thought alone doubled his misery, and his heart throbbed with sadness and loss. 

The older doctor walked out, his glasses riding low on his nose. All three of them snapped to attention and looked up hopefully at him.

_Please...say she's okay. Hyne, if you just say that she's okay I swear that I'll never ask anything else._

"She's sleeping," he announced, running a hand through his dark hair. "I think for the moment she's going to be alright."

Seifer almost passed out as relief flooded through him. The angel she was, it was a miracle in his eyes she was still residing under the clouds. 


	18. Magic

A/N: *sniff sniff* Last chapter...

"You are the strength that keeps me walking. You are the hope that keeps me trusting. You are the light to my soul. You are my purpose, you're everything." - Lifehouse

Chapter ??: Magic

Cid gave the bottom of his sweater a firm tug and licked his lips. Behind his wire-rimmed glasses his eyes were cast downward, inspecting some unimportant facet of his desk. The skin covering his knuckles was pulled tight and quickly turning an unhealthy shade of white as his hand wrapped around a stubby pencil, the end of which had been long chewed on.

"Quistis." He finally managed to choke out her name. Ignoring the now dull pain in her shoulder, she straightened out her back. The action pulled slightly at the scar tissue where her stitches had been. She remembered little of the trip back to Garden. Certainly, she didn't remember how Seifer had acted in the time, although she was assured that he'd become increasingly difficult to deal with. He'd even refused to leave her side, offered his own blood for a transfusion.

"Sir," she barked, feeling a shutter race through her body. Her hair was pulled harshly back, and her glasses sat upon her nose. The SeeD uniform she wore was spotless, groomed with a fine-toothed comb.

"I'm sure you've learned the news by now," Cid announced, dragging his gaze up from glossy top of his oak desk.

"I have," she nodded.

Krik had been executed as a spy. Galbadia had taken their sweet time releasing the information regarding Krik's demise, and it was evident that the actual event wasn't hindered in the least by bureaucracy. His punishment had been delivered swiftly and without pause for reconsideration. Whether he had divulged any information or not was still under scrutiny.

The war itself had settled in the months following Quistis' injury which took her out of battle. Seifer had been dispatched into the depths of Galbadia, his work being particularly efficient considering his desire to finish the mission at hand and return to Garden as soon as possible. However, tension was still high in the area. Timber and Dollet, unable to take the financial burden of SeeD any longer, had dissolved their contract with Garden and were fighting off the still restless Galbadians with their own forces.

"Krik was a good man," Cid nodded, dropping the pencil to bury his hands in his pockets. "Not the kind who stood out in a crowd, but a good man nonetheless."

"Yes, he was," she agreed.

Cid paused, taking a moment to scratch the top of his head with his free hand.

"I suppose you know why I called you here today," he finally said, letting out a long breath.

"I have an idea," she shrugged.

"Considering the injury you suffered while returning to Garden, I felt it was best not to impose this upon you until you were well again," he replied.

Quistis frowned. People had been using her injury as an excuse to do, or not do, all sorts of things. Not that she completely minded some of them. Seifer had been especially attentive. It was a whole new feeling to have someone who _really_ cared about her in times of need. She was sure that he loved her now as much, if not more, than he'd hated her in the past. She could never be sure of that, but she no longer felt the insatiable need to question him about it. If he suddenly had a turn of feelings, she was sure that he wouldn't hesitate to tell her. If Seifer was anything, he was honest.

"Yes, Sir," she nodded.

Cid motioned toward a plush chair across from his desk. She obediently perched on the edge of it, her knees clasped tightly together and her hands resting on top of them. The room was filled with tension, thick enough that whenever Cid talked it seemed to spider web and crack like sheer ice on a pond.

"We keep finding ourselves here, don't we, Miss Trepe?" he asked as he too sat down. His humor was dry and unappreciated.

"I suppose so," she replied, not even pretending to be amused by the comment.

Cid cleared his throat, reminding her of so many times in the past when he'd had to deliver bad news upon her. He was the reigning legislative body in Garden, but with Quistis he lost all of his bravado. She supposed that was because Edea had been her surrogate mother for years; she was practically his daughter. At the same time, she was his employee, and he was her superior officer. Only recently had she found out how difficult the burden of leader could be to bare. 

"When you were sent off on your mission," he started, "you were promised a promotion if you were able to prove your leadership skills. Although I realize now the incredible scope of the mission, you have to understand that in light of the outcome, I cannot possibly grant you that promotion."

They were the words Quistis had been dreading for so long. She'd lost her battle, would probably never be an instructor again.

"It isn't that I don't respect your skills, Quistis," he said, leaning across the desk with a pained look in his eyes. "However, with Krik's death and the attack on Balamb...I don't have any ground on which I could justify giving you such a placement."

"Yes, Sir," she nodded, looking down at her hands to see if they were shaking. She'd given up on becoming an instructor the moment the missiles went over Dollet on their way to Balamb. Hearing the words out loud solidified everything, but she was surprised how little it seemed to hurt her. Filling her lungs, she waited for the sting of failure to ring through her body.

"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I wish I had some good news for you."

"Is that all?" she asked, realizing she sounded harsh asking him if he were finished, but wanting to move on in the discussion before her determination folded in upon itself.

"I don't have any more life changing information for you, if that's what you mean," he shrugged.

"Then perhaps I could provide you with some," she replied.

"Oh?" He tilted his head, and she could tell that she had caught him off-guard.

"In light of my massive failure, my injury, and the changes that have taken place in my personal life," she began, her muscles stiff with resolve, "I have decided that SeeD is no longer something I can place in my future."

She was sure that Cid's jaw would have dropped had he not been resting it in the palm of his hand. Once he opened his mouth to give a reply. Apparently finding himself at a lack of what to say, he closed it again.

"If this is because you're not going to be an instructor again..." he started.

"Not at all," she shook her head firmly, needing him to understand her reasons for resigning. "I just finally came to the realization that I don't want to be a mercenary for the rest of my life. There are so many other things that I want to do, and SeeD just doesn't fit me anymore."

"Should I be expecting a similar announcement from Seifer?" he asked, arching an eyebrow. Everyone in Garden knew about them, and those who didn't certainly had their suspicions. While Quistis and Seifer weren't yet publicly a couple, they weren't often without one another. They weren't like Squall and Rinoa who fit like matched puzzle pieces. Quistis and Seifer had to chisel away at themselves in order to fit, and Quistis wasn't yet sure that he was the right one for her. There was still that one thing that she was waiting for - that _magic_.

"I haven't discussed it with him," she announced. In reality, she'd still held out hope that someone would smile down upon her and she would regain her former position as an instructor. The moment that the rejection had left Cid's mouth, she knew that her resignation was written in stone. Had she gotten the promotion, she would have been torn at what to do, and the single obvious course of action was something that she was grateful for.

"You've filled out the paperwork?" Cid sighed, leaning back in his chair to rest his hands on his curved belly.

"I have," she nodded.

"And if you had gotten the position?"

Quistis hesitated before answering.

"I can't say that it would have changed my mind," she replied slowly, methodically. She didn't want him to misunderstand her. She wasn't rejecting SeeD, and she wasn't exactly running from her failure; she was moving on.

"You may continue to live in the dorms until you find somewhere to stay," he announced, calling forth the headmaster air that so often failed him in her presence. "Your uniform and paperwork can be given to Xu."

"Thank you." She stood up and brushed down the wrinkles sitting had created in her skirt.

"SeeD will miss you, Quistis," he said, emotion bleeding into his voice. "You are an excellent SeeD."

"_Were_."

"Right...were."

She smiled, knowing that she would miss Garden. For so many years, the life of a SeeD was all she had known. Going out into the world without the veil of the institution over her head was a slightly intimidating prospect. At the same time, it was fresh and exciting.

"Thank you again, Sir," she bowed her head a little, allowing a loose piece of hair to fall into her eyes.

"Cid," he corrected her with a low grin.

"Right...Cid."

***

Quistis stood in front of her bathroom mirror and stared through a window she'd made in the steam with one fisted hand at the long scar running along the front of her shoulder. In retrospect, she knew that she had been lucky that the soldier's sword hadn't torn any major tendons or hit any arteries. In fact, all things considered, the damage he'd done was minimal. The scar was a minor thing to have to deal with, but she couldn't help but feel animosity toward the mark.

Peeling her eyes off the image of her new self, she quickly pulled on some clothes. Her SeeD uniform, which was carefully folded and laying on her bed stared up at her when she walked out of the bathroom. She was already regretting the decision she had made in the Headmaster's office early that morning. Seifer was anything but a permanent fixture in her life, and she didn't like to think of where she would end up without SeeD if he left her.

Mindlessly slipping on a pair of sandals, she walked over to the uniform. It had single-handedly represented her entire life. After parting ways with her adoptive family, SeeD had been her major life goal. When she'd finally got her uniform, it had taken her over. Although she still distinctly remembered laying in Dr. Kadowaki's infirmary, blood gurgling out of the gaping hole in her shoulder. It was during that time that she had decided SeeD was no longer for her. For as far back as she could see, it had brought her dull misery.

Presently, she thought of the good things it had brought her. Not among the least was friends like Selphie and Zell. SeeD had brought her to Seifer and showed her the world. None of those things, however, were ones that she had to give up; and she was ever more feeling the desire to settle. 

Her hand clasped tightly around her hairbrush as she combed through her lanky, wet hair. It began to dry quickly in the dry, Garden air, curling slightly on the ends. He would be expecting her soon, and she didn't wait for it to dry completely before she found herself stepping out of her dorm room and into the brightly lit hallway. People rushed by on either side of her in a blur of silver and gray, black and gold.

"Hi, Quistis," one of them smiled as he went by, a SeeD whom she assumed had once upon a time been a Trepie. Their adolescent cult to her had mostly disbanded, as most of its members had moved on to bigger and better things. There were still a few individuals who were frighteningly, and even obsessively, devoted to her. She wasn't yet sure how she felt about that.

The floor echoed voices back and around her, filling her deep with the rhythmic heartbeat of Garden. Silence would never be quite the same.

She walked in in somewhat of a daze, not really remembering all of her trip to the Training Center once she got there. He was standing just inside the doors in the shade of a tall, faux tree. His wide shoulders filled the back of his gray trench coat and his head was leaned slightly back, making his honey, blonde hair brush the collar.

He turned when he heard the door shut, his eyes a deep, sandy aqua. They met her own with the sort of wild, animalistic adoration that never ceased to thrill her. A slow, sexy grin spread across his lips and with a lithe turn, he walked toward her.

"Hi," he smiled, taking her hand in his grip. He wasn't wearing his gloves, which surprised her. They were practically an extension of his body, and he never was without them in the training center. His gunblade hung heavy as his waist, foreboding and full of sheer strength.

"Hi," she offered him a small smile, and he leaned over to press a quick kiss to the corner of her mouth. She had to admit, she'd never imagined Seifer as a generous man. With his affection, which he seemed to have in spades concerning her, he was more openly giving than anyone Quistis had ever met. He never let her out of his site without some sign of the way he felt, whether it was a long kiss or just a casual smile.

Together, they started through the tropical terrain of the Training Center. Leaves and twigs crunched under Quistis' sandals, filling the easy silence between them with the sound of their paced footsteps.

"How was your meeting with the Headmaster?" he asked.

"Alright," she shrugged. "He can't make me an instructor again."

"That's okay," he said, squeezing her hand to reassure her. "There are better things than being an instructor."

"Actually, I'm not as upset as I thought I'd be," she announced, looking up at him. "It's ruled my life for so long, I sort of feel good now that it's gone."

"Oh." He seemed surprised, and paused for a moment to chew over what she'd said. "You've changed a lot since we left on that mission together," he announced as they neared the secret area.

"Me?" she laughed. "How about you? When we left you did all you could to torment me. You were bitter, and hard."

"And now?" he rose an eyebrow.

"I think now you're finally starting to heal," she replied, knowing all the while how stupid she sounded but also knowing that it was exactly what she wanted to say. She'd never even noticed how broken Seifer had been until he started to slowly mend. She suspected that he'd never known anything like what they had together - or, at least, what she thought they had. Seifer had seen much of what was terrible about the world and so little of what was wonderful. She wanted to bring out the Seifer who hid behind the bitter wall of resentment and anger.

"I suppose that's true," he laughed, motioning for her to enter the secret area ahead of him. She did, and was immediately enveloped with the heady scent of the warm, night air. The sky above was studded with stars and sewn together with one soft, satin ribbon.

"I resigned from SeeD this morning," she announced, letting the words tumble from her mouth without warning.

"You did?" Seifer was suddenly behind her. "Why?"

"I don't want to be fighting wars when I'm 30," she announced. "I don't want to really start into life when I'm forced into retirement. I want to move on, Seifer...start something new."

"Like what?" He came around to the front of her now and stared down into her eyes. It was almost hard for her to choke out the words as she looked up at him. In all of her memory, she couldn't remember ever seeing Seifer cry. As he carried her, bloody and weak, to Ragnarok she'd looked up to see tears in his frightened eyes. That had been the most sobering experience of her life, and seeing him dissolve before her eyes had broken things within her she didn't even realize she had. Presently, as she looked up into those same eyes, she remembered the way he'd sobbed for her, and she wanted to give him everything.

"A home, a family," she smiled a little.

Seifer blinked a few times, then brought up a hand to run his fingers through her hair.

"Am I a part of this vision?" he asked, resting his forehead against hers. Without waiting for her response, he leaned in and kissed her. His lips were soft against hers and it became a slow, emotion laden kiss that radiated through all of her senses. As he touched her, even so simply, his presence filled her and fit into every hollow and groove. The world melted away, leaving only them, and time came to a winding stop.

Quistis felt her body tremble and a flood in her head. In that moment, they fit. She and Seifer were one entity, and it fed her soul, bolstered her strength. He was everything, and this was it - this was _magic_.

By the time Seifer pulled away to hear the answer to his question, Quistis almost couldn't remember what it had been. She found, however, that she didn't need to remember. She nuzzled her face close to his and buried her fingers deep within the sun-spun gold of his hair, shaking and tingling with what she was feeling.

"I love you," she whispered, her lips grazing his ear.

He let out a long sigh and gathered her up in his strong arms. His embrace was warm and gentle, yet firm. There was no place she felt safer than locked in Seifer's embrace. She could almost see the road ahead of them, a blissful winding ribbon of everything she had ever dared to dream of. She'd found her knight, and in the most unlikely of places.

"I love you, too." His voice curled with emotion, a dam somewhere within him breaking. She felt his hot tears first on her neck as they trailed down to her shoulder. The second time she'd ever seen Seifer cry, but this time it was a wonderful thing.

He kissed her again, tasting sweet with the salt of his joy, and she knew for certain that the wait was over. Seifer was part of her - part of her destiny - and a deep, shimmering magic that twined through their very souls into eternity. 


End file.
